Apparently the British wish to lock me up for daring to suggest something with flavor instead of a cucumber sandwich
> add some seasoning
> wtf is this monstrosity
mfw england
> conquer half the world for spices
> refuse to use any of them
engl*nd moment
to be honest, i doubt the spice trade had much of an influence on english prole cuisine
In all seriousness a lot of spices were used mostly in tea. But the British were mainly stealing stuff like cotton, gold, lumber, etc. and not necessarily food items.
Wouldn’t want to have my spotted dick and blood crisps or whatever the fuck British people eat tasting like anything other than boiled celery.
“Boiled celery? A bit exotic, isn’t it?”
Too busy slobbering on Cock-a-leekie
@[email protected] yo what up with your taste buds homie?
DUNK TANK MOMENT EMERGES WITHIN A DUNK TANK POST 
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I don’t speak … whatever language that is
this is shockingly racist for a casual response to banter
@[email protected] keeps on winning, folks.
Let me attempt to translate to the language of your people. “Oi whats da madder with yer’ gammers m8? Yew got a loicense for doz tastebuds?”
This probably the most embarrassing comment I’ve ever read here. I can only assume that you are currently dying of shame right now.
I can only assume that you are currently dying of shame right now.
I think he’s still basking in the glory days of Reddit teaboos worshipping him for saying “cheers” on the internet after Doctor Who got popular in Burgerland.
Damn, you don’t even recognize your own language when it isn’t in received pronunciation dialect? You must be fantastically stupid.
I suppose British boarding school beats brain plasticity out of eel-brained smuglords like that as part of the contagious colonialism hazing ritual.
‘Awright, me ol’ mucker! I ain’t got the foggiest bleedin’ clue wot you’re bangin’ on about! Proper sorry, but I’m as British as jellied eels an’ a pint o’ bitter, I am. If you want me to sort ya out, you’ll ‘ave to natter in proper English, right? None o’ that foreign gobblederemoved, or we’re in a right two ‘n eight, ain’t we?’
LMAO
What,got a douche tea infusion up your ass,Mr Gammon?
Fuck right off with this snobbish language elitism you seasoning averse,wannabe aristocrat,island living fuck.
Your fucking “lAnGuAgE” doesn’t deserve a lick of respect,Mr “I’m so fucking superior because I was born in the delusional ruined remnants of an empire of evil”.
The fucking gall on this one,to turn up their fucking pig snout nose at AAVE as if it’s some crime against god and their beautiful pristine language! I hope that when you die,they bury you right next to Maggie so you can both nourish yourselves with warm piss for an eternity in hell, you worthless goddamn Anglo!
Go slobber all over your precious fucking kings genitals or whatever it is you do for a national pastime in that rain soaked shithole you live in.
You people are proof that the western century of humiliation has already started in this country
I’m sorry, but I don’t speak … whatever language that is.
In that respect I am indeed horifically, terribly British.
Being passive-aggressively and undeservedly smug over your own eel-brained blandness may have been cool on Reddit over a decade ago but it’s old and this isn’t even Reddit anymore.
I’m sorry
You’re not, but you should be.
I’m sorry, but I don’t speak … whatever language that is. In that respect I am indeed horifically, terribly British. English only, please, if you want me to be able to answer.
Holy shit mate why are you such a fucking dickhead? You sound like the kind of dumbass that would’ve participated in the fascist riots
Stop embarrassing the country by being such a racist fucking lampshade lad
You sound like the kind of dumbass that would’ve participated in the fascist riots
Maybe he was there after fellow whiteboy bigot, Boer-flavor
got his gammon ass all riled up on Le Epic X Dot Com, The Everything App.
Forsooth thine yeowman only speaks the King’s English!
More like
Smug, bad taste, and poor reading comprehension
bad taste
My friend dropped acid at Skrattfest and hasn’t been the same since.
The only real English language is American English. British English is a pathetic shadow.
“Where did that bring you? Back to me.”
I’ll acknowledge Imperial Standard English as the true branch when I’m six feet under, rotted a hundred years and not before.
Or, as it’s sometimes known, Star Wars English.
horifically
Butchering the Queen’s English, are we? Please report for remedial condescending primary school.
King’s English now mate, the queen went and kicked the bucket.
It should die with her, of course
Here’s some pictures you should understand
HIE SECGAÞ ÞÆT ÞIN SMÆC BIÞ SCITE
seachain gáire sacsanach
Congratulations, you’re the first clown I’ve found funny I a long time.
It’s so bad that it’s good, so they got my upvote
-ngl-sh only,
Бедный дикарь
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you need to speak american to talk to me, i cant understand what a english is yet i can still read all your words
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Imagine saying this in the dunk tank lol
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bahn mi
most German way to spell banh mi
Auto Bahn and its a conveyor belt of bread leading to my mouth.
lol
would a toy train be a bahn mini?
How dare you try to poison people with flavour! Everyone knows a proper cucumber sandwich is a single layer of cucumber slices (skin removed) between two slices of white bread (Use
as a guide). If you’re feeling particularly daring you may add a small pinch of salt and pepper but be careful not to over season, you wouldn’t want to make something tasty by accident!lol
between two slices of white bread
It needs to be thin white bread mind, not thick.
This is why the English have to claim half of the food their immigrants brought with them as their own, lest they look up and realize the only tasty thing they make themselves is deep-fried (and even then that’s arguably Scottish).
Over a year ago I made fun of the blood-soaked colonial empire island’s cuisine and had someone go full gammon on me because I was completely ignorant and (ableist slurs here) because I wasn’t aware of how amazing this one curry place was from an authentic Indian family just down the street.
Hey now, the English stole that cuisine fair and square! Next you’re gonna tell me the king should give back all the jewels in his crown and sceptre!!
And that big rock they stole from Scotland! That’s a heritage treasure of the blood soaked colonial empire, too!
Regardless of how it got there, if it’s the most eaten food in the country, how is it not their own? Tea and potatoes don’t come from Britain either, not were fries or deep frying invented there.
You can make a pastry in a million different ways, but ultimately there’s not really any significant difference between any north European pastry dish.
Scotland has as much a rightful claim to deep frying fish as Britain had to India in the first place (absolutely fuck all right).
You’re missing the fundamental point here, though; fuck the UK, sink it in to the sea, Doggerland 2 coming summer of '25.
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With foreign substances that are an abomination to rampaging colonial sensibilities
It’s got the bloody soap leaves in it.
they didn’t even describe an authentic version with daikon and pate spread
i was the one trying to vaguely approximate a bahn mi from memory, my b
you got really close to what i think is the prototypical recipe, no shade. i just really like the daikon and pate spread.
authentic
ok what are you replacing the baguette with?
If you went to an English tea room for afternoon tea
Well there’s your first mistake
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“I say, this boiled tapwater is a bit… aggressive, don’t you think?”
English people eat butter sandwiches.
The more common version throws a couple of pommes frites in there so they can pretend it isn’t just butter between slicea of white bread.
my favorite is when they put a piece of toasted bread between two slices of untoasted bread
I thought that was an extreme poverty thing? Extreme poverty being another pround :ukkk
tradition?
I used to eat butter and jelly sandwiches when I was a child. Would the Brits crucify me for adding jelly??? Is it too spicy
You got a license for that jam butty?
A cucumber sandwich is just a water sandwich with extra steps
And more solid poops afterwards
burn the entire place to the ground
Shitlingford here is right though, it’s an old ingerlish tradition to pillage any establishment that serves nonwhite food and murder its occupants. Probably triggered some memories of visiting “the Indochina” during his Oxford years.
Historically speaking this is their response to pretty much any communication with a foreign culture.
Bahn mi are so goddamn good
I was at a farmers market once and bought a transcendentally good Banh mi from a food truck. They’ve never returned to the farmers market and I’ve never seen them anywhere else.
Hell yeah they are!
I’ve been wanting to do one that’s basically the same as what I outlined, but vegan. I was thinking maybe if I take portabello mushrooms I could slice them on a mandoline to get like really flat mushroom rounds, roast those, use the jus and bits that won’t slice flat from the mushrooms to make a vegan gravy, and have like a “roast beef” banh mi
I think this may have strayed too far from its origins as a poverty food. White bread, butter, cucumber and mayonnaise (if you’re fancy) paired with some weak tea drowned in milk is a perfect way to save money so you can afford to have a TV license to watch England lose at football or splurge on Wensleydale Cheese to eat with your Christmas fruit cake and Christmas goose or go to Ibiza and get horribly sunburnt while complaining that the Spanish people are speaking Castellano.
Plus it helps keep you thin so you can fit in chimneys to sweep.
The point of a cucumber sandwich is that it’s light and refreshing. You can eat it as a snack while drinking tea, and not worry about not being hungry later.
What you suggested sounds nice, but it’s a meal and that’s not what they’re for.
Yeah but a banh mi isn’t a monstrosity u_u
It’s already a fusion food. Pate, baguette and mayo are French, the spices, meat marinade and vegetables are Vietnamese.
