I dunno, I thought it would be higher. I guess I’m just a slut surrounded by sluts (positive).
What do you think about the number? Does it surprise you? Does it surprise you that it surprises me? Did you expect it to be lower maybe? If so why?
I just find this interesting. No judgement (unless you want that you dirty little gremlin)
as a proud member of the volcel vanguard i do my best every day to lower this average
more serious
read some discussions further down the thread, it does suck how much having sex matters in this culture. If it werent for that, being a virgin wouldnt bother me in the slightest, since I’m (i think) somewhere on the ace/aro “spectrum” (is that the right word for it?). I do think it’s a shame that “incel” has come to replace “misogynist” in common lingo, because it feels to me in someway also a repackage of “virgin” as insult as well. I will say, the vocel meme is probably one of my favorite things on hexbear, because it helps make feel like less of an outcast, lolInteresting post, would’ve never considered how the terms here relate until you said it. Incels deserve the shit, and it’s interesting to consider that we partially identify the cause of their misogyny with their virginity. It’s probably true, but catches the volcel comrades with some Flak on the side.
Incel is still a good insult when it’s a misogynist who WANTS sex but can’t possibly have an intimate partner willingly have sex due to their misogyny. It pisses them off (sometimes) which is funny, and “misogynist” is often something they’re proud of. But next time I use it I’ll throw a "no shade to non-misogynyst and chill virgins*
Actually a statistical error, the average person has sex with 0 people. Suck’em Fuck’em Georg, who lives in a cave and fucks 10000 people a day is an outlier and should not have been counted
but then 10000 people a day have sex, so the average would be closer to .1 if they each only fuck em suck em Georg once in a lifetime if he lived to be 100
I dunno, I thought it would be higher.
Sorry, I’m dragging it down adn shouldn’t not have been counted
Same here, I’m celibacy georg throwing off the average
Having sex with -10,000 people every night
The volcel vanguard salutes you
non-bit comment
I assume you’re just being funny, but on the off-chance that you aren’t: Don’t be sorry for not having sex. People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn’t either. Of course that can be hard with all the culture around sex and sexual partners, but please know there is nothing wrong with not fucking.
People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn’t either.
This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn’t get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn’t, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel (“If so many terrible people have sex and you can’t, that must mean you are worse than they are!”).
I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.
I completely agree. I feel the need to point out (in a non hostile way) that that is why I used the word “should”. They shouldn’t, they do, but they shouldn’t.
And yes, I also dislike how incel has become a leftist acceptable way of calling someone a virgin.
I hope it’s okay, but I’ve used you comment in a post asking wether incel should become a no-no word
Yeah, I was just doing a Spiders Georg bit. However I do sometimes feel a bit mal baisée, as they say in the baguette language, and although I’m like 99% deprogrammed from mainstream Sex Culture by this point, I still end up worrying about others’ judgment even if I think it’s bunk.
:yea: it sucks how we get judged for not having enough sex and also for having too much sex. What amount is the right amount of sex? Whichever amount you’re doing will be wrong. Also you could totally be banging someone prettier/they’re only with you because you’re pretty.
Mainstream sex culture sucks. Underground sex culture also sucks, but in different ways.also sucks, but in different ways.
Pfft-
The mythical single entendre
it seems like 99% of people are; either that or i’m the hoar of bablyon incarnate. lol
(and i’m practically celibate compared to the men i see at the clubs).
As a gay man that number is comically low.
For the straights I can totally see it. Not even a diss. Just all the gays I’ve known have game. The bisexuals… that skews low on an almost comically ironic way.
Yeah. The queer community (or at least those I’ve been part of) are part of why I am surprised at the number.
I think there’s definitely a lot of underreporting too.
Also, no one asked us either, right?
Another reason why autism is hell
I am very uncomfortable with sex and have only had two sexual partners, but it seems like, on average, people like me are the most often designated as incels or we’re using it as an excuse. It’s also an internal battle too because I know it shouldn’t be all about me, but god do I wish I could find someone who feels the same way about it
Overall though, it’s very shameful. Thought I’d pick up on these nebulous social hierarchies the older I got, but they’re still beating my ass. That’s why the move is to remain as imperceptible as possible 😎
Sitting here at 1 and I’m happy with that, i will not be changing this number as its enough for me. If my bf leaves me no one else would be able to fill in that gap anyway
Happy for you
Counting is dumb and pointless imo and nothing good can come of either keeping track or disclosing
In fact “I don’t want to know how many people you’ve been with” is a perfect response when some people feel compelled to volunteer this information
There was “discourse” on Twitter recently about “body counts”, and an interesting conclusion people came to through it: if you were a moderately good looking person in a moderately cool city when tinder first hit the market, you body count tended to be WAY higher than most people.
I can confirm, I’m not even that good looking but I was living in Philly when tinder was first a thing and it was a total fuck fest.
Idk if it was a cultural shift or the app getting enshittified, likely both, but dating apps ain’t the same anymore.
why do some people call it “body count”?
are they killing them after or something? lolWhat happened to Tindr?
In terms of how it got worse, in my opinion, the biggest issue is that more people started using it who weren’t looking for hook-ups.
There used to be a separation of apps for different purposes: OkCupid if you were younger and looking for a relationship, there was one for older people but I don’t remember the name because I wasn’t older at the time, and then there was Tinder for hooking up. And there were other apps, too, like PoF and others.
Now everyone uses Tinder for everything including finding friends, so that initial hookup aspect is gone. I don’t know how the kids break their volcel pledge these days but Tinder has enshittified so much by getting too popular and mainstream that it’s become the super-app. OkC has also significantly declined and with it the ability to more easily find more meaningful relationships online, in my opinion.
Also, they’re all owned by the same company now. No surprise.
I don’t know how the kids break their volcel pledge these days
we don’t
Thank you for your cooperation, citizen.
What, no e-Harmony, no Christian Mingle? What about Farmers Only?
I think e-Harmony was the one for older people, right?
Thankfully never interacted with the other two. Are they still around?
No idea, but e-Harmony was a personality test one, then their special match maker software would match you with people who’d be your soul mate. If you’ve taken some psych classes beyond the 200 level you’d know it’s a bunch of self selecting bullshit.
Yeah I know a bunch of boomers including my mother who met people through e-harmony.
Yeah I remember the influx of people with bios like “Just here for a friend!”
That’s cool, I’m at the busstop waiting for a train.
And then just all the enshittification and bots and weird gimmics. I find that hinge is a good time though
So, FYI, there’s Hinge now, which is sorta becoming the “serious relationship for 25-40 year olds” app, and since it came out I think tinder is slowly reverting to a hookup app.
Interesting, good to know!
what is PoF’s niche?
I think, if I remember right, PoF was the first one among younger people that paved the way and then other, better, and more popular sites came about that drew all the grass-touching normies onto them and made online dating acceptable.
I guess PoF just got a bad rap for being weird because it was the first one that tried to do it when it was still considered socially unacceptable to say you met your partner online. It feels like they never got over that stigma after ironically helping make it acceptable.
I only used it briefly. I think it’s still around though.
I think it’s still around though.
yeah, it’s still around, and surprisingly accessible given what literally every other dating site/app has become.
nonetheless it has been slightly enshittified in terms of limiting people’s interactions with the site if they don’t pay. just not as badly as other sites.
They’ve made the amount of likes limited unless you pay. I don’t use it myself since I’m married but i remember videos of people setting up diy swiping devices and just mass liking everyone.
Seems like math to me. If you can only like a few people a day you’re not going to get nearly enough matches to get sex consistently. Coupled with the fact that, presumably, the app still feeds you people who haven’t logged in forever makes sense to me
Not only that but they make it so any matches you do have are sorted to be close to your last like, to encourage you to get a subscription. Also other stuff. Tinder is also weird in that you sort of have to have “game theory” going - If you swipe on someone who doesn’t swipe on you, then you will get shown less times. So you should swipe on people you are certain you can match with. However the app also uses your swipes to figure out your preferences, so just going for “they seem like the type that would be into me” will end up with you not really having any assurance of being shown someone who might strike your fancy.
All the apps do algorithms, but tinders is especially terrible and the one where you really have way out of the “marketplace” mentality.
A bunch of people were really horny.
Peak Tinder was like sex hacking, honestly.
I got in right at the tail end. It was nice. Wish I had been more mentally stable though
if you were a moderately good looking person in a moderately cool city when tinder first hit the market, you body count tended to be WAY higher than most people.
this makes sense actually, i shacked up w/ someone i met from work just as tinder was becoming a thing & became single again post pandemic lockdowns and my number of partners is close to average, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay lower than most of my friends.
That sounds about right, although unless the survey respondents were all at death’s door the number will go up for some of them.
And don’t forget that a lot of communities around the world have a strong culture of monogomy and marrying young, bringing down the average.
At the risk of sounding old and lame, in my experience the ideal of having lots of sexual partners is a bit of a mirage in our culture. Nobody gets satisfied by a number and the best sex seems to happen in long-term relationships.
Think about the total number of times you had good sex, rather than the number of different people it was with.
Oh I don’t advocate that having sex with more people is inherently good. I like having new partners, discovering new people, but that’s me. Others like other stuff.
I am surprised at the number, but I guess not on a global scale. I think I exist in large part in a bit of a bubble when it comes to sex I guess.
I don’t ever think of partners in a numerical way. When the time and situation is right, I guess my number goes up. I haven’t had too many and am happy sharing intimacy/my life in a selective way. I’m also monogamous which influences how often this happens with someone new.
Me just being way below average as usual.
1 so far. The fact that I literally can not log off on the politics stuff has dimmed my view of other people so much that I basically cannot relate to anyone in a way that would take a turn towards the intimate. Do I wish that weren’t the case? Yeah. Do I really know how to do anything about it? No.
I’d like to see the median and standard deviations as well
Lower median, huge standard deviation.
I feel weird sometimes about being a good-looking man in his thirties who hasn’t had sex in nearly four years. I don’t really miss it most of the time, but I feel like I’m supposed to be missing it.
I suppose it’s just that I don’t care enough to put myself through the awful, awful process of socialization of the romantic kind, which has caused me so much pain over the years. I love making friends and chatting, I hate flirting. I frankly don’t understand how people enjoy being attracted to somebody else. Most people actually seem to enjoy flirting and having crushes. A crush is literally one of my top 5 worst feelings in the entire world, and I’m not even joking. It’s a fucking waking nightmare to me.
In totally unrelated news, my RAADS-R score is well over 140, huh would you look at that
It took getting out of a very stressful relationship for me to have a good mentality about sex and dating. It can be tough, it sucks. As long as you feel happy about yourself and what you do though, nothing is the matter. If you are missing something, then something is the matter, but not if you just feel like you should be.
Yeah, most of the time I don’t even think about it. It’s just that being uninterested in having sex seems to make it more difficult for me to feel like I belong in most social circles of people my age. It’s either single guys trying to have sex or guys in monogamous relationships trying to have sex vicariously through single men like me.
Damn, that sucks. Wish I had any words of wisdom
Lost count 2-300 maybe, 1 last decade. Lost all interest today. Suppose it all is how the culture around you are.
