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India, China, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Myanmar all get one unnamed school even when they have almost half the world’s population
Europe gets 3-5 depending how you count it
This map just radiates
The name was probably something along the lines of “removedwangdong” but the editors cut it for obvious reasons.
Itd be pretty sick to have a wizard school that is basically a small city. Hogwarts has ~1000 kids, that school having like 30,000 like an big american college would be pretty cool.
They could have different styles of archetecture for all the buildings and teach a wider variety of magical styles.
Odds are it would produce way better wizards that hogwarts
But yeah this map wasnt so well intentioned. Also there are no french wizards or german witches apparently
Might be humorous if there were a canon story at “school #10” that had a school with 10x+ population and was 10x+ as advanced as the original series
Ay I just noticed Turkey is part of “Arab/middle east”
but not Sudan
Somalia too
Every school but Hogwarts is just “magic castle” run through Google translate, and all of them are varying degrees of racist. Castelobruxo requires students to wander through the jungle to find it, because it’s in the jungle of course.
I love how Rowling dodges the difficult questions like “hey how did the magical indigenous traditions in colonized nations survive and not just kill every cracker in a ten thousand mile radius at some point in the last six hundred years?” by instead just being too racist for it to be a problem.
I love how Rowling dodges the difficult questions like “hey how did the magical indigenous traditions in colonized nations survive and not just kill every cracker in a ten thousand mile radius at some point in the last six hundred years?” by instead just being too racist for it to be a problem.
When freaking Shadowrun answered that question with more satisfaction than this trash, resulting in roughly half of Burgerland being ceded back to the First Nations.
Given that the first world wizards blindly emulate capitalist society when there’s no real need it’s coherent to imagine that they helped colonization by waging colonial war against the magical indigenous people
Yeah that doesn’t make it look cool but that’s an explanation!
The funny part of Castelobruxo (in addition to being named in Portuguese because viva Brasilia I guess?) is that it’s Witch-Castle in the sense that the castle is a witch, not that it’s a castle of witches.
#TransitionGoals
i feel like a secret entrance that teleports you to something machu picchu adjacent (but is a reconstruction of machu picchu) would be the way to go or something but idk maybe i have a small brain. tie it in with the el dorado shit or something and killing conquistadors and illegal loggers
You’ve stumbled into the core reason why Harry Potter is still huge: the setting is so full of plot holes, so poorly constructed, yet just interesting enough that you started writing fan fiction that was better than the original, purely by accident.
Hey not all Harry Potter fanfiction is an improvement
(Amiright @[email protected]
Mashallah Best Korea is free from Hogwarts brainrot even in the fiction itself
They have Harry Potter in the DPRK.
uncriticalcritical support to the democratic people’s republic of korea and their liberatory struggle against the genocidal american empire
It looks like all of Korea goes to the same unnamed wizard school separate from the Japan, Asian, and and Oceanian ones
Honestly gives me Korea is still a Japanese colony in the wizard world vibes.
That they share with Italy for some reason.
When First Nations are mentioned as magic users on Turtle Island
When First Nations basically don’t matter at all in the Burgerland school
I thought I heard they DID matter, just that they do bad/fake/evil magic and that their traditions were supplanted by superior wizardry.
Oh for fuck’s sake, can this slop get any worse than I already knew it was?
Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s “canon” that any native tradition that you might reasonably say are native wizards is muggle charlatanry while the real native wizards are the supernaturally evil shapeshifters that some native American religions believe in (which are often taboo to even mention by name) and everything native Americans believe about them is muggle charlatan propaganda.
It’s almost the most offensive thing I could imagine a person coming up with.
Uff. Not only used the actual names, but added the type of bullshit that comes to the mind of some cracker whenever they talk about native people.
Wait, I guess I never stopped to think about it as a kid but is Ireland just a part of Wizard UK???
Seamua Finnigan, the guy who always gets involved in explosions
How is it she found the most racist names for everyone
It’s easy if you search for them
A PDF of Protocols of the Elders of Zion would have been less racist than this.
And Better written than the source material.
Holy shit is this for real? Did Key & Peele actually do a better job of Harry Potter worldbuilding than Rowling?
You can’t fault the worldbuilding if the main character story is amazing because it features a special chosen one of epic destiny that joins a secret organization of born-special people that rule the world in secret and sometimes have other born-special people that decide to be magic fascists and that’s unfortunate but they still get a special magic fascism house because civility. Also it’s forbidden to talk about magic Hitler until it’s too late and nothing should be done but loving magic Hitler to death and then becoming a magic cop. Also, slavery is okay if the Thermian argument says it is and it’s silly to believe otherwise, Hermione.
riverhorny
What about Italy and Greece??
Giuseppe Strombolinni and the suitcase of meatballs
Nice to see that all Koreans study only Juche necromancy.
I wonder if someone told JK that she shouldn’t make it look like Korea is part of Japan in her wizard universe so she left them blank
Italy, Greece, Afghanistan, Korea - new alliance just dropped!
The Mediterranean brain pan simply isn’t fit for the arcane arts
It’s the Vatican
This map implies that the USSR still exists in the wizarding world
And a caliphate
this is why fanfiction is superior. you can just say all this lame shit sucks and make up your own cool system and what not. also fuck IP and fanfiction as a whole spits in the face of it
Koldovstoretz
Doktorskayakolbasa
The hell is that name? The f is a ‘storetz’?
it’s a weird, grammatically incorrect portmanteau of “magic”(Koldovstvo) and “castle”(Dvoretz) that sounds completely alien to anyone who actually speaks an east slavic language
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Feels like this was originally mapping racial categories and then the slurs got replaced with schools
Bring me my calipers. No, no, the magical calipers.
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