Started off when I imagined wonks asking one another about the SOTU like it was Monday Night Football. Now I’m imagining that instead of being themed after local teams, they’re themed around semi-famous senators. The Minnesota expat community in your random medium sized town all go to Hubert’s at lunch to watch bills get passed. True Idaho Patriots watch book signings during dinner at the Crapo Chap House. Papa Strom’s at Myrtle Beach is getting sued yet again for violating the Civil Rights Act. You can down a Zell Miller Light at any given watering hole in the northern outskirts of Atlanta.
Bit idea: A sports bar but for Hexbear
It’s almost empty because everyone is at home posting. The three people there are various agents from the different agencies trying to get the other ones to do adventurism. One of them is the bartender.
What no one wants me to sign their book, How To Post? I organized a meet and greet here.
A Hexbear bar (Hexbar) would be one of the most entertaining places to walk in to. Everyone would be so deep into the most obscure arguments that, unless you basically live there, would be incomprehensible to listen to.
pretty sure that exists in dc somewhere. maybe not that, but at least a bar with politics and dc insider shit on all the tvs. there are stock traders’ bars in nyc that have tickers running on all the walls and cnbc/bloomberg news on the flatscreens. cursed places, to be sure
Getting hammered off $25 beers while the cnbc meme stocks guy yells at me to buy more shartcoin on the tv, one of the lower levels of hell.
are they good beers?
They’re an overly experimental craft beer that tastes like cranberry juice, made by a local DC distillery owned by the failsons of three senators.
JUST MAKE A FUCKIGN SCOTCH ALE YOU STUPID FUCKS I’M TIRED OF IPAS
I think I accidentally got dragged to one of those in DC once. I remember walking into a bar there with a million TVs and all of them had news and politics shit on 'em. Their wings were deeply shitty, that’s basically all I remember.
And yes, there are District establishments laying out the welcome mat in time for Mueller’s first appearance. Shaw’s Tavern (520 Florida Ave NW) is opening at 8 a.m. All of the restaurant’s televisions will be playing the Mueller hearing with full sound, the Facebook event promises, and there’ll be breakfast and lunch specials available. Shaw’s Tavern will start slinging alcoholic beverages at 11 a.m., which is the earliest that the venue can legally do so.
During its “Mueller Time Watch Party,” Duffy’s Irish Pub (1016 H Street NE) is offering eight flat screen televisions hooked up to a stadium sound system to watch the notoriously tight-lipped Mueller speak to Congress, alongside a full menu and drink specials. The times for the event are not yet finalized on the Facebook event page, but Duffy’s says that “creative attire encouraged.” Considering that Mueller isn’t exactly known for donning inventive clothes, it will be interesting to see how attendees interpret that prompt.
Union Pub (201 Massachusetts Ave NE), which offered patrons free drinks whenever President Donald Trump tweeted during former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony in 2017, is getting in on the Mueller action, too. Starting at 9 a.m., the earliest it can open according to its operating license, the bar will have full bar and kitchen service available. Union Pub promises a slew of drink specials alongside its broadcasting of the Mueller hearing with full sound on all TVs: $6 “Moscow Muellers,” $4 select rye whiskeys, $13 Budweiser/Bud Light buckets, and more.
True story. When I was 14 I was at nerd camp and I tried to get everyone in the dormitory lounge to watch Meet the Press instead of SportsCenter on Sunday morning. Because if it’s Sunday, it’s Meet the Press.
It was at that moment I learned that I was too nerdy for nerd camp.
That sounds like a scene from a movie and not real life.
In the movie the jock-nerds would have continued to bully me or something, but I was successfully forgotten after they regained control of the remote control.
TBH anyone that tried to get people to watch Meet The Press should probably be lightly bullied
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a communist, I put away childish things.
It’s ok I used to watch All In with Chris Hayes every night 😭
I want a sports bar but for cartoons. All the TVs are set to Simpsons., Futurama, or Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Reminds me how T-Pain requests his strip club room’s tvs to be tuned to Adult Swim when he goes
pushing the stripper’s hair to the side while getting a lap dance to get a better look at the tv because they’re about to show the pocket sand scene from king of the hill
oh god even worse. imagine trying to get a lap dance while they’re showing fucking family guy in the background
It’s why the SOTU is on a Thurs night, people get paid and they want to party
Okay that last one’s a drink instead of a bar but it’s still a good pun dammit
