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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month ago

This is unfair!

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This is unfair!

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 month ago
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  • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    what is the charge?? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal??

    • Xanthrax@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I see that you know your judo well.

      • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 month ago

        HANDS OFF MY PENIS

        • baldingpudenda@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          The way he delivered that line was Oscar worthy.

          • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            1 month ago

            Truly, every line in the clip is delivered with the bravado and conviction of an experienced thespian.

            “Gentlemen, this is democrrracy manifest!”

            This is the bloke that got me on the penis befoaaa.

            “Ooh, that’s a nice headlock sir! Ahhh, yes, I see that you know your judo well.”

            “And you sir! Are you waiting to recieve my limp penis?”

            This interview was three years ago. I sincerely hope he is in good health and has many more succulent meals in his future.

            • BarqsHasBite@lemmy.world
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              1 month ago

              Unfortunately he’s passed away.

              • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                1 month ago

                But his memory will always live on in our penises.

                • maccentric@sh.itjust.works
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                  1 month ago

                  I dunno, apparently he admired Hitler and nazism (according to Wikipedia)

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      29 days ago

      Link for anyone like me who’s one of today’s lucky 10,000

    • LegoBrickOnFire@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I had never heard of Democracy Manifest before coming to lemmy. I am loving this subculture in strad of reddit’s

  • exasperation@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?

    • xkbx@startrek.website
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      1 month ago

      Ah shit I fumbled the quote

  • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Maintain eye contact, eat the card. Let them know you want to make a scene.

    • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY PENIS

    • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      “You got any more of these tasty notes? I haven’t had all I can eat.”

  • Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 month ago

    • surph_ninja@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Does this sound like a man who had all he could eat?!

  • fulcrummed@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    And what happened after you were asked to leave?

    We pretty much went straight home.

    Mrs Simpson, let me remind you, you are under oath.

    We drove around all night looking for another all you can eat fish buffet.

    And when you couldn’t find one…?

    We went fishing.

    • limelight79@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      Does this sound like a man who had all he could eat?

    • That Weird Vegan@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 month ago

      Lionel Hutz was a great character. RIP Phil Hartman.

      • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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        1 month ago

        RIP Phil

        Fuck Andy Dick

  • kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 month ago

    What is the crime? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

    • kofe@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      This. Is. Democracy. Manifest!

      • Noite_Etion@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Ahh yes, I see you know your Judo well… Good one.

        • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          GET your HAND off my PENISSSSS!

          • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            I’m trying to read this in any other voice but I can’t

  • xkbx@startrek.website
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    1 month ago

    Does this look like a man who had… ALL he could eat?

    • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      “Sir, that is all you can eat for $15.99”

  • shinratdr@lemmy.ca
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    1 month ago

  • killea@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I just wanna be called “sir” without it being followed by “you’re making a scene.”

  • MrNesser@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Jeez how much did you eat

    • WanderingThoughts@europe.pub
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      1 month ago

      A number of places have a time limit. It’s all you can eat in 3 hours. There can be rules that you have to eat what you take, and when you take entire plates but barely touch them, the restaurant gets a bit annoyed.

      • MrNesser@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I’ve been in a few as well After 30 minutes I’m usually full out staying a 3 hour time limit and still eating…

        • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
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          1 month ago

          There’s a buffet place my spouse’s friends were all gaga over. It was a bit of a drive so it took me a few years to actually agree to go. It was like $25 or $30 a person (but free if it’s your birthday!) 15 years ago, so it’s not like it was cheap. The first thing that struck me is how absolutely cavernous the place was. Like a Walmart filled with tables and food islands. Signs saying where to find certain types of food. That kind of thing.

          I might have eaten $10 worth of food. And I have been known to pig out from time to time. But between the mediocre at best food and the “atmosphere”… yeah I had no plans on sticking around to try and get my money’s worth.

          • guy_threepwood@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            In the UK we have “JRC Global Buffet” which is almost exactly what you describe. It’s…not great. I went because, like you, some friends were particularly enamoured with the place for some reason.

            I wasn’t a fan.

            • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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              1 month ago

              In the US we used to have one called Sizzler. I don’t think they were as expensive as what parent comment is talking about. They kind of made a comeback but not sure if they still do the buffet. It was great when I was a kid in the 80s. Not sure if I’d like it now though. Certainly not for $30, you can get a nice meal at a nice restaurant for that.

              Also awesome username btw.

              • guy_threepwood@lemmy.world
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                1 month ago

                I’m selling these fine leather jackets…

            • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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              1 month ago

              Smaller buffets are better maintained.

    • cRazi_man@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      This note has a very “or else” vibe.

      • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        “We can do this the quiet way, or we can do this the loud way.”

        • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          leaves

          drives car into restaurant

          “you want to say sorry, motherfuckers?!”

          grabs another plate of food

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      This note is a parody of an actual note that was about drinking in a bar.

    • doingthestuff@lemy.lol
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      1 month ago

      Not all I could.

  • Wilco@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    You been here FOUR HOUR! You go home now!

    • renrenPDX@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      RIP John Pinette. Around after the 3 min mark

    • Lukas Murch@thelemmy.club
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      1 month ago

      Is this the one where he goes, “it’s all you can eat, not all YOU can eat. You scare my wife.” That lives rent-free in my head.

      • Wilco@lemm.ee
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        29 days ago

        LOL, so epic. They don’t make comedy like that anymore.

  • Capt. Wolf@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    “You here four hour!”

    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
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      1 month ago

      That’s some 90s comedy right there

    • crawancon@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      this was the first thing I thought of. nice to see a link already here. thanks!

    • DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      Damn I just saw this

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    I aspire to be like Dilbert’s father and just live in a an all-you-can-eat buffet because if I never leave, I can eat forever.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      god that short lived series was hilarious. very unfortunate that the creator turned out to be a proper cunt.

      • slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org
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        29 days ago

        He always was a talentless cunt.

  • rumba@lemmy.zip
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    My mother was 100 lbs soaking wet, but MAN could she eat. There was a steamed shrimp buffet on the other side of the city.

    Family rules: We were there for shrimp, if you a little salad that’s ok, but stay away from the bread and the desserts, you can get those anywhere. You’d best eat at least three plates full

    We’d eat and eat and eat and eat, then take a little break, then eat some more. Mom was skinny; dad was normal-sized, and I was a little chubby. OMG did we put away some shrimp.

  • Brotha_Jaufrey@lemmy.world
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    Easy, just put a wig on and keep eating.

    • rmuk@feddit.uk
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      Wait until they’re not looking to put on the wig. Otherwise it’s kinda a bit weird.

      • Brotha_Jaufrey@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Assert your dominance, put the wig on while maintaining eye contact with the owner

      • pyre@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        they’re looking at each other like “wait, what card did you give him?”

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