I can understand your hesitancy, but the position of “Threat to Global Peace and the World Order” has already been taken. We do have an opening for “Bastion of the Free World” and we encourage you to apply. All things considered, you would be a great fit for the role.
Its funny but yes we want a functioning Democracy to defend other democracies.
Exactly! It’s a pretty radical concept these days, I know.
It reminds me of an old Polish joke:
A Pole finds a magic lamp, strokes it, and a genie comes out.
“I will grant you three wishes. They can be anything your heart desire.”
"I wish for the Mongols to invade Poland!’
“Ok? It is done”
The Mongol hordes sweep through Poland, ransack the country, then go back the way they came.
“I am ready for my second wish. I want the Mongols to invade Poland again!”
“Are you sure? I can give you anything your heart wishes.”
“Yes. I am sure”
The Mongols come again, do some more pillaging, and return home.
“And now for my third wish. I want the Mongol hordes to invade Poland a third time.”
“Are you really sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Before I grant you your wish, would you mind explaining me why you would want that not once but thrice?”
“It’s very simple: Whenever the Mongols come to Poland they have to cross Russia twice!”
The US really is just this hateful polish guy. A solid 35% of americans would happily raze our own country than let one poor person have a subsidized lunch.
This is so funny. I just told my wife, who’s Ukrainian, this joke and she burst out laughing.
Also, as Canadians. We wish there were mongol hordes we could get to invade us, through the US.Mongols. Mongols would need to cross both Russia and US.
Well afaik the last in date were your country :p
Haha russophobia funi
As long as russia keeps invading countries it has no business being in, it is extremely funny.
You could apply that to most EU countries though? Colonialism in Africa, invasion of Iraq, support of the US in Afghanistan, bombing of Libya and Yugoslavia, funding the genocide in Gaza… What makes the EU better? I just happen to live in Europe and I want to push MY government towards peace negotiations because it’s the one I can affect
How many of these are active missions? The Special Military Operation was only supposed to take 3 days, but it’s still going on.
Or do you simply have a case of «А у вас негров линчуют»? No one’s excusing their own country’s atrocities simply by attacking Russia’s ongoing atrocity.
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yankees get very mad when you make a similar point about drone striking east asia
It’s more of a Polish grudge funny though.
Poland has a bit of a history with Russia too.
Surely Poland has been in an unlucky position between the empires of western Europe and the former Russian Empire, then again it has the same historical problems with Germany and I don’t see Polish people making racist jokes against the country that committed genocide in their territory.
I really don’t see what’s racist about Russia in that joke. If someone’s the butt of that joke it’s the Polish who’s willing to hurt themselve just to get back at Russia.
And there are loads of Polish jokes about Germans.
“An unlucky position” that’s putting it mildly.
It’s not racist. People forget “Russian” is a nationality, not a race. Russia isn’t just populated by Slavs (much to the chagrin of Putin, I assume).
Imho discriminating against a nationality is still racism. e.g. WW2 anti-japanese racism in the US.
Russia has a very colonial attitude toward its non slavic citizens.
Learn the difference between xenophobia and racism, please. The difference matters for proper discussions of different topics that pertain to discrimination in general and you are clearly confusing both of them in your weak attempt at accusing someone of behaviour they never displayed while they explained a joke that is rooted in historical context.
More to the point, being against Russian dictatorship policies and historical atrocities is neither xenophobia nor is it racism.
Everyone with a functioning frontal lobe knowns the Russian people are mostly helpless under a dictatorship that practices putting opposition (civil or political) in gulags, but one cannot just “lay down and take it” if the Russians come for them, just because you pity their situation. Criticizing dictatorships is of utmost importance, feelings be damned.
Maybe it’s the difference in Germany’s behavior and allyship towards Poland since the transgressions. Maybe Russia has not acted in a reconciliatory way towards Poland, maybe perhaps they’ve still behaved as an adversary, while Germany has taken accountability and joined a strategic alliance against the same Russian aggression that unapologetically continues to threaten Poland’s sovereignty
I wasn’t aware Russian was a race.
And if you knew anything about history you’d understand why Poland feels particularly strongly towards Russia.
Germany made amends and stopped the warmongering. Russia has demonstrated that they will not.
It isn’t that complicated.
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There is russian similar joke abour genie that grants wishes, but your neighbour gets twice of that. One of dude’s wishes was to poke his eye.
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It might work this time!
Alternative you could go by boat, but I’d advice is to travel by land because I expect Poland will join you. (or it’s just I’m hoping they will)
I know its a joke but just to note: I’d love to see Germany “march through Poland” given the poor state of Germany’s armed forces. As it is rn, Poland alone could most likely reach Russia’s heart in a couple of weeks of conventional warfare and debilitate Russian critical infrastructure long before that. Barring nukes of course, which is basically all the Kremlin would have to hang on to in a full out direct confrontation given just how incompetent their armed forces have proven to be.
I’ll have you know that we are perfectly capable to march through allied territory… as long as they have well developed infrastructure
…which complicates marching through Germany
True
Amazing trains you got in Germany :p
The trains are great, everything else around them not so much
That just means we need to give Poland nukes
And now trump is using Putin’s hiring/promotions practices - yay!
Wait, did people start doing parkour outside windows without previous training again?
It kind of reminds me of Terminator 2; where its essentially the exact same story is T1 except this time the previous bad guy is the good guy.
Germany starts world war 3
The rest of the world: “how do we keep falling for this?”
“Ww3 this time we’re the good guys!” Smaller print “We’ve double checked and had it put in writing.”
The only requirement to be a good guy is to win.
Everyone loves a good heel-face turn though
First John Cena then Germany
John Cena would be the US in this example. Sudden unexpected face-heel turn
Is this Jon Stewart’s account?
Ahh polandball. I missed these
These always remind me that I’m a dumb American.
We can stand to be roasted more then a little bit.
That may help us with our fat problem. I hear heat renders fat into liquid grease…
You hear? You have to experience it. Roasting isn’t just good for meat, it’s great for a lot of veggies… and arrogant assholes too!
The irony being that Poland doesn’t have border controls towards Germany, but Germany has illegal border controls towards Poland though.
Just because almost every party decided to go full populist “Screw the people and the economy, there might be Muslim terrorists in Poland”
I am ok if Europe wants to send troops to Canada to defend against the real enemy—the United States.
As an American I fully support this. We don’t want to invade Canada either. Just the Orange Idiot and his bootlickers.
I was going to joke “I’ll send y’all intel,” but now I’m seriously considering if my country will use that statement against me some day.
I am joking NSA/DOGE, of course.
I don’t want intel, AMD is better imo.
Too late the van is already on its way
*Occupied States
If it comes to it, there won’t be a conventional battle. We will take them out from within.
In the wise words of the Arrogant Worms, “We’ll take a boat to Washingtooooooon! And burn the White House twice!”
USA = U Stand Alone.
As an American, I stand for this. You’ll never see me fight any country besides the enemy within the US.
Pls do, our army wouldn’t last more than a day against the US
I’ll come to defend the indiginous people from Canadians stealing and polluting their land.
Tbf Poland would be joining them this time around.
They’re allowed to take out one German tank with light cavalry, for old time’s sake.
You know…as the battlefield becomes ever more automated, there might be a very brief window where the winged hussars could make a comeback.
Let’s say you have a battlefield riddled with smart drones. They have image recognition and immediately attack anything resembling a tank or other military asset. Do you think anyone bothered to program the drones to seek out and attack a unit outfit like 18th century Polish cavalry? A charge on horseback just might be able to ride completely undisturbed through the right kind of drone-controlled battlefield.
Especially with these wings!
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED
COMING DOWN THEY TURNED THE TIDE
Ukranian drones are already equipped to target the latest Russian logistic vehicles, donkeys.
and you just fucking ruined what would have been the coolest thing ever by putting it in public!
You could submit this plan to [email protected]
I didn’t know this existed and you just made my life
They would be programmed to kill anything that moved just to be sure they get everything. They will be deployed like mine fields except the owners could disable them to move through the drone field.
Do you want your drones to burn through their numbers attacking deer and birds? That’s what happens if you set them to attack anything.
Indeed, never provision your killbots with a pre-set kill limit. There’s a well-known strategy to deal with that.
I can see the Onion headline: High-Tech Warfare not as simple as military genius on the internet thought
The moment they are activated they’ll just blow each other up. Could be fun to watch.
Okay well I’m just going to air blast gravel at them then.
Or you could just get a big block of lead and mount it on a remote controlled chassis and just drive it around. At 6 mi an hour.
Last time Russia and Germany invaded Poland together. Presumably this would be Germany and Poland invading Russia.
Does that mean in 100 years it’ll be Russia’s turn to team up with Poland against Germany? Is that how this works now? Can’t we just rock-paper-scissors best 2 of 3 instead?
After the refusal of France, England and Poland to enter a military alliance against the Nazis with the USSR, the only alternative to a partial Soviet occupation of Poland was a total Nazi occupation of Poland. Tell me, would you prefer a total Nazi occupation of Poland?
Erm, Stalin did a deal with Hitler, the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact. In a secret protocol, they agreed to carve up Europe between them with the USSR to take Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Bessarabia and half of Poland. The Finland part didn’t work out so well, and Hitler went on to break the pact. The details of this were proven only when it was made public during the Nuremberg trials.
You haven’t answered my question: would you have preferred a total Nazi occupation of Poland?
Erm, Stalin did a deal with Hitler, the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact
Yes, to postpone as much as possible the war between the 100-year-old industrial power that was Germany, and the 10-year-into-industrialization USSR. This was done after the Soviets were consistently denied mutual defense agreements with Poland, England and France, in which Stalin offered to send ONE MILLION soldiers to France and Poland to defend against the Nazi threat (together with artillery, tanks and aviation). The Soviets even offered to collectively start war against the Nazis instead of the Munich agreements in defense of Czechoslovakia, which the western powers again refused. It was then and only then when the Soviets changed the previous minister and put Molotov in place, to postpone the inevitable war against the Nazis for as long as possible during the key industrialisation years.
Please, answer my question above
They did last time too, just not quite as voluntarily
Ukrainians: “the Germans are here to liberate us from the Russian yoke. And they actually mean it this time!”
Same nazis as they were
Let’s make sure to start the campaign in autumn so we are deep inside Russia during the coldest parts of winter. Let’s also make sure to only take light summer clothing.
As we know, you should always fight a land war in Asia.
At least were not going up against the Sicilians
Inconceivable!
!anybody want a peanut?!<
You keep using that word…I do not think it means what you think it means.
That sort of idea seems great when everyone is taking Pervitin all the time.
Pervitin, the brand name that Meth was originally sold under.
That’s so yesterday. Now we use modafinil!
Legal meth? Sign me up!
The Nazi army used a lot of drugs: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29429893-blitzed
Ya know, what with global warming this might actually work.
This would be much more concerning if they hadn’t so thoroughly stamped out fascism. What’s the alternative for Germany?
stamped out fascism
Alternative for Germany (Deutschland)
🤭…
💀…
Fascism was never stamped out. Wall street supported it heavily and now they fully control the us political and military machine. We came full circle. The nazi’s didnt loose the war their ideology infected those with control today. Central banks funded the third reich and those same financial institutions are still empowered and playing a part today. War and genocide / eugenics is a part of their business model.
hi
If only there were a list of names… and addresses…
Hey, hey psst… if you need some… wink wink, nudge nudge
Ugh why is it that they always resemble root vegetables?
Behold: the Master Race
Fascism is back on the rise there, unfortunately.
I thought my little AfD reference at the end would give me away.
I thought it was clear
I can’t tell if that’s a lucky coincidence or a reference, but the Alternative for Germany (AfD) are the biggest voices in support of fascism in Germany, and they just won 20% of the seats in parliament. Luckily, even the CXU won’t form a coalition with them yet, so they will hopefully not have much impact on things.
Ironically, the AfD doesn’t want to militarize against Russia (but don’t be too reassured, they do want to reinstate mandatory conscription and militarize generally, just not against daddy Putin)
AfD is a nazi party. With tied to Blood and Honor, Proud Boys, constantly yelling nazi quotes, nazi saluting in private and small meetings, copying their rethoric and imagin aso
Not totally. Fascism did take over 20% of the vote in last month’s election.
I think the widespread political “unwavering support” for a nation committing Genocide, which is justified by the ethnicity of the people of that nation, kinda shows that some part of Fascism (the whole “people’s race is what matters the most and some races are better than others”) hasn’t at all been stamped out.
Then there’s AfD which is just taking the “if it’s good to support them because of their race, then it’s good to support us” step closer to Fascism.
Germany is far closer to a certain philosophy anchored on classifying one’s fellow human being as worthy or unworthy depending on race than one would like to believe (certainly, I liked to believe before the political reaction there to whole Gaza thing made it too obvious to deny) - the symbols were made illegal whilst the spirit lives.
The alternative is to not build a giant army and use the money in something more useful that will benefit germans and humanity
And whenever Russia wants some land it’s just handed over?
Only if you believe the government and a bunch of corrupted politicians who never fought a war will save you.
That’s a very poor understanding of geopolitics. Giving more money to Rheinmetall to lobby European politicians will SURELY not decrease the possibility of war in the EU.
Germany was never fully denazified. There’s a reason the New Left in Germany was so militant. Kiesinger was in the Nazi Party!
Yeah the Schreibtischnazis and industrial-nazis never got punished. And not to speak of east germany who employed SS and Gestapo members in their StaSi
East Germany was denazified to a much higher degree than west Germany. Half of the fucking embassies of West Germany were run by Nazis, and some NATO generals literally took part in the SS. Soviets lost 25 million lives to Nazism, they were much, much more stringent with Nazism than western Europe.
Sadly, the facts are not supporting your argument. Also you call it naziism which is just emberessing. American tankie i assume? “West bad” “soviet union glory state made of marble”?
Thoroughly?
Supporting companies? … <cough>
Poland: “What about attacking Russia alongside with an ally?”
Aye, I could do that.
Germany: “i thought these days would never come again. Fighting russia with poland and france like we did late 1700s and early 1800s”
The original band coming back for one more single.
Wouldnt say it was a band. Napoleon forced some of the germans, the others joined because they wanted to be on the winning side, and the poles fought with Bonaparte for their freedom
So like a supergroup. Like the Highwaymen.
🎶"I wore a picklehaube, on the Rhineland I did ride…" 🎶
🎵🎶 I spilled the blood of the Saxon men🎶🎵
I know Charlemagne doesn’t fit the definition of a Supergroup, but that’s simply because when the term was coined, Christopher Lee hadn’t joined any bands yet. So the creators of the term forgot to leave in the loophole that any band with Christopher Lee is also a Supergroup.
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No thank you. Defensive alliance, sure. But not attacking. We’re supposed to be the good guys, after all.
Good luck convincing our politicians not to start a war after giving Rheinmetall a taste of the 800bn budget for a project literally called REARM EUROPE.
Our politicians didn’t start a war during the entirety of the Cold War, either. You might have succumbed to the fallacy of thinking that when a weapon is purchased it needs to be used to kill people.
Surely the European weapons and troops didn’t kill anyone during the Vietnam war, or the Korean war, or in colonies in Africa such as Algeria, or in the Gulf war, or in Yugoslavia, or the bombing of Libya, or in Afghanistan, or in Iraq, or very recently in Gaza.
Oh sorry, forgot those don’t count to you because they’re brown people or Asians for the most part! Massacres and colonialism against defenceless people don’t count as wars ;)
Oh, I’m a racist now for not wanting to be invaded? Get the fuck outta here.
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