linked article is what has convinced me he’s got it in the bag. the wapo/nyt libs are exactly as insufferable as they were in 2016 and the results will the identical. he’ll win for all the same reasons he did the first time and libs, having learned absolutely nothing, will make all the same complaints and tear their hair out trying to figure out what happened. watching the most performatively irritating people on earth eat crow is going to be absolutely 
and i don’t even have to feel bad about laughing because kamala’s policies are literally identical to trumps, so its not even like theres gonna be additional palestinians/trans people/women who are suffering because of it
Death to America
I will spare you the suspense: I am endorsing Kamala Harris for president, because I like elections and want to keep having them.
And I happen to care about the people who are already here, in this world.
Well, some of those people a lot more than others
I will spare you the suspense: I am endorsing Kamala Harris for president, because I like elections and want to keep having them.
Reminder: she’s talking about the candidate who practically skipped the primary process and was coronated by the party
But why does she want to keep having elections, if policy is unbendable?
she likes the theater
And the sticker!
Well, just look at it.
That’s fucking rad.
Actually got a compliment on that sticker irl today because I still had mine
Critical support for the cool sticker.
Specifically Waiting For Godot.
Standing in line is FUN
yeah im a Certified Election EnjoyerTM. no i havent got any idea of the difference between democracy and elections, why do you ask?
Death to America
It’s wild how often liberals will say they “support” something while actively working against it. Support/care in their mind just means they feel sad about it I guess
Just remember Hexbear is always wrong. The more we call it, the less certain I become
I think that’s what happened here just before Russia’s military moved into Ukraine.
Of course I know them, they’re me
I was surprised too. I had some “nothing ever happens”
at the time.The mistake was assuming a rational thing would occur
MFW
In my case I’ll admit I was just looking at what the state department said and assuming they were lying about everything and not just most of it
I think all of us were assuming that Biden would lose in 2020. I know I was.
I think it was split. Lots of people here argued that we should vote for him for the sake of “harm reduction”.
The main argument was covid, abortion, queer rights, the massive riots going on with people being disappeared in black vans and foreign policy. Lol. Lmao even.
(There was also pushback on this, but I am just trying to say that hexbear was not united on the election)Technically the site was still chapo.chat back then and I hadn’t even joined yet (I was still enough of a lib to vote for Biden, that’s completely over) so I don’t know how well Hexbear can call it
The real reason for the joke is hexbear more or less as a whole was of the opinion nothing would happen in Ukraine (something happened).
This is contrasted by our ability to lathe a great many world events, provided the scenario is sufficiently ridiculous. And that is how dialectics work.
The case for Donald Trump is “I erroneously think the economy used to be better?"
But @[email protected] if you would just look at my handy graph here
you will see that (excluding groceries, utilities and housing) prices are actually going down (by which I mean they are increasing slower) and (excluding a few select sectors) wages are going up! (Almost putting them at the level they were at several years ago, calculated for inflation) Also the stock market is doing great! (Excluding the billions lost on cryptocurrency and the billions that will be lost on AI and the billion-dollarvaluation of Intel and the fact we’re growing by less than we’re spending)Ever since someone framed the
market as just a measurement of rich people’s feelings, it’s made a lot more sense
It won’t be funny, “HaHa”, it will be funny,
.We will instantly see all the libs who were SCREAMING about kids in cages at the border during COVID’s early years suddenly start SCREAMING about the genocide of the Palestinians.
Libs who were SCREAMING about the end of the occupation of Afghanistan will suddenly start SCREAMING about how the war in Ukraine needs to end.
Libs who were SCREAMING about “Medicare for All”, who stopped talking about it because it would ‘scare the conservative liberal voters away’, will suddenly start howling about it again.
Suddenly, all the anti-Iran sabre rattling will be “uncool” again.
I think it’s 50/50 wether they suddenly grow a conscience or start chanting for the murder of leftists for the crime of not voting for someone they’ve been told does not need their vote nor wants it
Nah, the left won’t get blamed because doing so would give us a ton of power. If Kamala loses they will blame anyone except leftists and everything except Gaza.
Libs who were SCREAMING about the end of the occupation of Afghanistan will suddenly start SCREAMING about how the war in Ukraine needs to end
Yes. But their plan to end it will be to deploy the US Army and start a no-fly-zone over Eastern Ukraine, ratcheting up tensions and escalating the conflict.
if I were the paper, I would be a little embarrassed that it has fallen to me, the humor columnist, to make our presidential endorsement.
I didnt realise it was supposed to be funny until they pointed our how fun they are, wow
Dems seem to somehow think that the reason they lose is because they aren’t fascist enough. In reality they lose because they aren’t effective enough.
What we need to be is more effective fascists!Dem: Haha Republicans are so WEIRD! We’re gonnna spend weeks of our campaign hammering on that!
Also dems: we need to reach across the aisle and work with republicans!
Let’s reach across the aisle and do everything they want without ever getting anything in return! That’s how you use power!
I know this is idealism, but I honestly think part of it is also that dems aren’t genuine. Like they are more effective fascists - People in mass aren’t opposing them when they do things like mass deportations or the pipeline over indegenous land. They are better at doing fashy stuff. But you can just tell they don’t really care, there’s no real motivation behind apart from just pure powerlust.
Whereas the republicans have some real
psychos.I think Dem voters are often genuine in that they worry about the world and have empathy and want a world with less suffering. But Dem politicians? Definitely not genuine. This is why they aren’t effective. They say the right things to convince Dem voters that they will do good, but doing good is never the real intention. It’s all just a marketing ploy and Dem voters fall for it like clockwork every single election
For sure! I also think that goes the other way (let me make it clear I think they are bloodthirsty demons, I’m not trying to apologize for the dems) in that the reason Kamala is supporting Israel is that the campaign has calculated that that position will win her 0.3% more voters than the other position. It’s why you see dems say shit like “why won’t the republicans vote for us, even though we are even more brutal to immigrants? Are they stupid? Look! Look! We can put them in cages too!”
It’s because it’s robotic. It’s cold and calculating. I think I’m doing a trope here, but I think republican voters want some real honest to god spite. It’s the same reason Ted Cruz is hated even among republicans, he’s like a democrat. Just a Pete Butt in another shape
Libs seem to be determined to give him the win, for sure
Even their bumper stickers are shit this time.
I’m curious if the high ranking Dems will suddenly start noticing Israel’s extermination campaign or if they decide “Actually, Trump is so presidential this time, how surprising” like they did that week when he drone struck Suleimani
If the former happens, good. Maybe they’ll actually do something.
they will complain loudly about his incompetence and unwillingness to wag is finger vigorously enough at bibi while they continue signing the checks for more bombs
That something is likely to be “Trump is fumbling this genocide. Kamala would have been a much more competent genocidaire”
It can really go either way but Dems will likely eat shit if they win or lose. We already know what happens if they lose. They could also win and then try the same strategy again against a non-Trump candidate, only to lose.
The Left!!! Russia!!! China!!! Anyone but Her©!!!
I disagree. the last time Trump won the chuds killed Heather Heyer (not funny). the last time Trump lost a few of them killed themselves (extremely funny)
Nice joke, Alexandra Petri
Tell us another one!
I’d not be surprised if Dems win the popular vote, they really are try-harding on it. I’m waiting for some electoral college/vote cert shenanigans that hands it to Trump.
Then again, I’d not be surprised if Kopmala wins it in popular and EC and just does nothing beyond instituting a gentler wing of fascism.
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