I’m fucking with you, Neo. My friends and I are laughing at you for coming here and taking pills from strangers because you think we’re computer ninjas. You work in an office and want to feel cool. I bet you think you’ll learn kung fu if you eat this pill but that’s just the placebo effect. You’ll still wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe because you’re pretty stupid.
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Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can make women cum?
Gay Morpheus: No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.
The Matrix ending should have been Mr. Anderson waking up on an old couch in his underpants, covered in Polaroid pictures of him engaging in hijinks under the influence.