true.

alt text: “Off work late? Hungry, but don’t want to cook? try taking a few hits of weed and then doing nothing. we can try eating again tomorrow. maybe.”

  • The Assman@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Idk about y’all but I’ll eat raw flour when I’m high. Any non poisonous calories are fair game to stoner me.

    Edit: I need to teach y’all the art of hyperbole

    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      Just learned this last year!

      Flour doesn’t look like a raw food, but most flour is raw. That means it hasn’t been treated to kill germs that cause food poisoning, such as Escherichia coli (E. coli) and Salmonella. These harmful germs can contaminate grain while it’s still in the field or flour while it’s being made. Steps like grinding grain and bleaching flour don’t kill harmful germs—and these germs can end up in flour or baking mixes you buy at the store. You can get sick if you eat unbaked dough or batter made with flour containing germs. Germs are killed only when flour is baked or cooked.

      CDC investigated outbreaks linked to raw flour or cake mix in 2016, 2019, 2021, and 2023.

      -see dee see

    • the_beber@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      I wouldn‘t put raw flour under „non poisonous calories“ and I guess one does not heat treat the flour they want to eat, when high.

    • stoly@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Flour is specifically why you’re not supposed to eat the cookie dough. It can contain E. coli.

  • Kiwi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 months ago

    Last time I smoked while I was hungry I chased my cat around the house by walking with my hands out towards the cat like a toddler, until he got tired and flopped over

    I then picked him up and proceeded to cook and eat with one hand while still holding the cat

    • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      One of my cats always beats up the other so sometimes I pick up the victim kitty and chase the asshole cat with her.

    • Zoop@beehaw.org
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      9 months ago

      Oh my God I love when you’re playing with them and they get tired and flop over on their side like that!! My cat does it, too! That’s my fucking favorite!!

      Also, I like you. You sound fun. I do those exact same things sober, lol. Although a lot of the time when I try to hold her while doing something, she ends up crawling onto my shoulder/neck/back and I have to cook and eat hunched over all weird because of it, often with her happy tail whacking me in the face…but she’s just so damn happy up there and it’s beautiful! How can I deny her that? At least then I have two hands to work with, lol.

      • Kiwi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        9 months ago

        Thanks, I like you too. Yeah it’s super adorable when they just decide that they’re done and just flop over

        My cat kind of sits up when I grab him. I have to cradle my arm and grab his butt so that he can straighten his front legs on my elbow and he refuses to be held any other way. And the face he makes, it looks as if he was staring off into the sunset from a mountain cliff

        In the end it’s either one arm or no cat

    • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
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      9 months ago

      “Don’t wanna eat (or sleep (or have teeth))? Try some She’s A Hot Meth™ brand meth¹ today!”


      1. Side effects may include loss of weight, erection, will to live.
  • burgersc12@mander.xyz
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    9 months ago

    Fasting? I thought they called this “depression”, at least thats what they keep telling me…

      • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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        9 months ago

        The mind is fucking weird man. I’ve got ADHD and Binge Eating Disorder. Quite the opposite end of the spectrum. But when I’m medicated I’ll skip or delay meals and won’t snack at all because I’m busy with other stuff.

        I bought a pint of ice cream last week and it’s still in my freezer unopened. My fatass wouldn’t do that if I wasn’t medicated. Wouldn’t last a day.

      • Razzazzika@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        And autism! And I don’t even need the weed to just stare at the wall in existential dread!

  • Vespair@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    “Don’t want to cook?”

    Never

    “Don’t want to do the dishes after cooking?”

    Permanently.

  • ShaggySnacks
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    9 months ago

    Don’t smoke weed too not to cook. Weed gives you the munchies. Try smoking crack. You’ll definitely don’t want want to cook after that.

  • Sagrotan@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Yeah. I smoke weed and “forget” to eat. It’s infinitely more probable that I go on a mission and stuff myself with the shittiest food in human history for hours, then instantly regretting it, so I have to smoke more weed. You see where this is going?

  • frezik@midwest.social
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    9 months ago

    Or you invent weird things to eat. Like Butter Vodka, which is made like this:

    • Take a full stick of cold butter out of the fridge and put it in a Colin’s glass
    • Pour vodka over it
    • Enjoy

    Third step is optional, and arguably, asperational.

    Anyway, that’s how my brain works on THC. Some would say even without THC.

        • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          Lul, nerd, just go push a rock in some laser beam, that’s how the cool scientists like Gordon do it.

    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      That’s crazy. I always associated smoking with pigging out on junk food - like, five to six thousand calories a day of junk food - so I always gained a huge amount of weight. BTW anybody who thinks eating five to six thousand calories a day is impossible has never sat down and eaten a whole box (12) of Dunkin Donuts, one after the other. Or eaten a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s, driven to the store for another pint, eaten it, and then driven back to the store for a third pint.

      • klemptor@startrek.website
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        9 months ago

        Honest question, how do you not barf after all that? And doesn’t all that sugar make you feel intensely weird?

        Sidenote I love your username

        • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          TBH I don’t really know how I managed to eat all that shit, but the human body adapts to all kinds of mistreatment. I’m currently extremely fit and I eat healthy, and even just eating one donut now kind of fucks me up - makes me all jittery and nauseous.

          Kids In The Hall forever!