Based off a post I made on Reddit a while back. Hope y’all enjoy.
Edit: Since people are mentioning it - the stat buffs do not matter. I was being silly when I threw those in. But yes, the scale is 0-100.
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Fatigue mask seems cool, until you’re just spending 7 extra hours a day procrastinating doing the thing you thought you’d use all this extra time to achieve.
The glasses are OP. With them, nobody can even be mad at you for all the procrastination.
Fatigue mask fixes my insomnia, I like to think that the world isn’t ready for that amount of unbridled power
… In reality, I probably just exist as I do today, just less knackered
The hours are great but falling asleep instantly and waking up fully rested… oh my… I don’t remember the last time I felt fully rested even after 8 hours.
Are they? There’s a significant difference between “feeling” rested and “being” rested.
Yeah if you take it at face value that one is pretty cursed. You’re gonna get sleep deprivation affects and diseases pretty quickly if it only makes you feel rested. But it’s entirely possible they intended it to mean properly and healthily rested. If that’s the case I think it’s by far a top contender.
The penny is OP. Flip a coin, get a heads, buy the most expensive lottery ticket at the gas station. Wait 2 weeks, repeat. Infinite money glitch
I was trying to avoid “cool item give big money” because that’s exactly what I did when I posted the idea on Reddit. It was a set of dice that would give the winning lottery numbers and then scatter like the Dragon Balls. And then guess what half of everyone chose. At least the penny can be used for things other than gambling. Idk maybe something like that should be a single use item to balance things out.
It’s functionally a wish every 4 weeks, and you know if you’ll succeed or not before you attempt whatever it is.
Win the lottery, invent time travel, learn to fly, solve world hunger, conquer the universe, create the other artifacts…
I’m not sure that’s how it works. You could do anything that day, but it’s not a learning matter. You still wouldn’t know how to fly a plane the next day if you didn’t learn. Same with inventing. You could invent a time machine but for once you’d need to know when it’s finished and functional and second you probably wouldn’t know how it works, how to repair and replicate it, maybe not even how to use it.
Your thinking too small. With the glasses you can just talk your way into being a ceo and be a billionaire in a few years. Have fun talking to the lottery commission when I am sipping brandy with people I hate.
The mask, the penny, and (depending on how hand-wavey you get) the glasses, are on a different power level than the other two.
7 extra hours of life per day, at full rest?
On demand money(gambling), or better(anything else, like applying at a school), though unreliably, once a month?
Auto-navigate to your desired outcome when other people are involved?
Yeah, life-breaking shit
Nope. The mask only works for one hour. It takes 30 seconds to fall asleep. So you can never get the hour it takes to be fully rested.
Nope. The writing is deterministic. "The wearer 1. falls asleep (time amount) after wearing, AND 2. awakens (time amount) later, feeling fully rested.
One doesn’t depend on the other. It’s just what the mask does, step by step.
I only worry if it makes it impossible to wake up at all…
The sleep mask looks like the obvious bet. Have you ever been awake for 20 hours straight? It’s not debilitating, but after about 18 I start getting woozy. I’m gonna go with it anyway, because even if I take the penny and win the lottery, the one thing money can’t buy is time
You can still go to bed if you’re tired. Just put on the mask when the cooldown is up. Or don’t.
Au conteaire, money well spent does, in fact, buy time. If you are broke and have to spend half your day riding buses to get your errands done and you buy a car and can get them done in an hour or two, that is half a day you just bought. If you can hire a maid and a chef, that is all of the time that would have been spent cleaning and cooking that you now get to figure out how to spend. Don’t let anyone lie to you that money cannot buy time, because being able to use money to speed up tasks or offload them entirely is literally buying time.
The coin, because I can flip every two weeks to attempt total world domination, and it has a pretty high chance of succeeding somehow. Or just more mundane things like flipping to win the jackpot.
The slick talker glasses are also pretty overpowered, you can achieve much the same as with the penny if you can just give a quick speech and everyone in the room either tries to fuck you or be you five minutes later.
But my heart is with the quick sleeper mask, I’m never really rested after waking up and also procrastinate going to bed all the time. Getting a full rest in one hour sounds like the dream
I see we had the same thought process, I think I’d take the mask too even though the coin is technically far more powerful if random in its power.
23 hours a day instead of 16 to 19 seems real good. That’s like living considerably longer.
Idunno, now I’m conflicted. On the one hand, having 20ish more years to enjoy life would be great, but winning the lottery via the penny would make the 40ish waking years I have left much higher quality
Better to be lucky than good.
Plus the others are essentially crutches. Febreeze underwear? Just take a shower. “Charm” glasses? A shower and a new haircut will get you halfway there. Maybe a watch and new shoes too.
Sleep mask is tempting but you need to hold onto it and use it for the benefit. With the penny you only need to use it once or twice to change your life. No one will ever know because you just “got lucky”. You can live a normal life too.
Compelling, except there’s no implicit control over what the “luck” brings. I assume it’s always positive, but from who’s/ what’s perspective? Winning the lotto might be lucky, but it could be some other “positive” thing that you don’t really care for. Maybe that’s a little too “monkey’s paw”? I dunno. Just to many variables.
The penny, then I’ll try and take the rest. (Flips coin, it landed on heads!)
I don’t know, the shoes are pretty tempting. I can Sprint at about 10 miles an hour for about 30 seconds right now. Multiplying those by 5 would let me Sprint at 50 miles an hour for two and a half minutes.
I would be the closest thing the real world has to having the flash, or you know kind of like an overweight Sonic the hedgehog
Does the underwear cover basic grooming and self care? I.e. do I still need to trim my fingernails, shave, apply sunscreen?
What about the health benefits of staying clean? I mean nice breath is fine, but if I stop brushing will I get cavities? If I get a cut, do I still need to clean the wound to avoid infection?
This was where I went as well. It’d be fine to appear immaculate, but actually purging every piece of filth from yourself, instantly, constantly is terrifying. Most especially when you consider it a bit further- it’s essentially an erosion field, regardless of how it performs the task. In the most extreme extension of its abilities, it may prevent any of that ooky lead hollow point from landing on you. It’s too vague.
I’ll do you one better and rank these instead.
- Lucky Penny
- Caffeinated shoes
- Fatigue masking mask
- Frying pan of flavor
- The cool glasses
- Underwear of febreze
I really wanted to put the caffeinated shoes at number 1, but the lucky Penny sounds OP.
Also, the underwear is an unfortunate item because most people who need it wouldn’t choose it. It’s also the only item that could be simulated with one hour of effort a day (at most) for most people.
Nah, glasses need to be ranked much higher. Do you realize how powerful those are just in every day use? Always impress at job interviews or reviews for promotions/raises? Use in sales jobs or anything customer/client facing to always come out of it ahead? Not only being able to be effortlessly popular in all forms of relationships, but also always know the right things to say to help those people or help them feel better?
“Social situations” is such a broad term that applies to so much of life, and being able to navigate them perfectly implies more than just schmoozing your way to the top. They’d help you do better and be better, basically everywhere.
I think you’re right about the glasses. At the very least they’re probably better than that frying pan. The more I think about it they might be right under that penny.
With the glasses it’s all fun and games until you’re assassinated by someone you accidentally crossed without even knowing. Because assassination is not so much of a social situation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, that’s on you for abusing any power up. If you’re trying to rule the world, then sure you might run into some repercussions. If you’re just living your own life, knowing the best way to navigate any interaction with another person is powerful.
Any of the items could be abused in a way that would make enemies, and some of them have other drawbacks on top of that.
Being generous, I’d say I could run maybe a half mile at full tilt before I collapse completely. +400% stamina would put me at two miles, and the shoes last “while stamina lasts.” Pretty strong, but not Flash OP.
That’s what I was thinking but Lucky Penny is weirded way too close to a monkey paw,
And I think the shoes may make you run a long way tall fast but only as fast as you could already run? Because it’s only while afternoons lasts. Heck it might just insta gib you
I’ve always been envious of people with great social skills. I could accomplish a lot more if I had them. The glasses for sure.
Agreed. Wish I understood just how much more important spcial skills are over a professional skill.
I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.
1 hour… fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you’ve just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.
Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.
Ok … duh … the glasses are the best artifact.
You could be running the world in no time with that kind of charm applied to politics.
Jesus, who the fuck wants to do that…?
We need scales, is +100 luck = maximum luck? Or is it a logarithmic scale? We need context here.
I was looking for this. I don’t know what the numbers relate to, although the penny description kind of makes it clear.
No one’s asking the important question:
Why is the penny silver?
Gotta distinguish it from any old penny in the change jar.
It is lucky, so it isn’t made of the standard copper alloy. It just happens to be the one penny randomly minted from pure iridium. The artifact’s canon stipulates that no one is ever aware of this.
