“Consider if you will the sensational (and quite frankly, often objectionable) nature of these emotes! If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this Web site’s collection of emotes is tantamount to blasphemy.”
“Your entire moderation policy has been conditioned by me and random people from cumtown. Face it. I can act, you can’t even remember online isn’t real. Who do you think is going to win here?”
“Reagan was the smuggest motherfucker alive and every Western politician since has been trying to replicate his White Boy Magic.”
“Of what use is an infant?”
“Personally I wouldn’t post a on such little website. If you want to do debatelord crap then you need to outline the topics much more clearly and at least set proper start times for it that people adhere to, this whole site reeks of lack of organisation, internet drama and zero professionalism.”
“Well I’m from the Bay Area so obviously I listen to Guapdad, Smino, you know, the Zoink Gang guys, plus like P-Lo, Allblack… do you know any of these people?”
“Just admit you got wrecked on the astral plane, because you are not coming back from this.”
“I found out my girlfriend has a Jiang Qing fan page and she keeps calling me a capitalist roader. I’ve been trying to explain the benefits of socialism with Chinese characteristics, but she just laughs at me and yells “REVISIONIST” anytime I bring it up.”
“Actually, using damaging moves makes you just as bad as Team Rocket”
“what is the evolutionary need for finger nails?”
“Nah he’s on his Lewis and Clark type beat, tryna look all jaundiced and shit”
“I feel like redditors are really trying to gang up on me”
“I have a mole on the mod team who is going to take this whole site down and install me as Hex King.”
“As a enjoyer of quite a number of treats, I disagree that criticism of treats (whatever they are) is the same as treat bashing. That’d be like a treat defender bashing treats … which happened somehow but still.”
“Elfangor then deserts his post and hides as a human on Earth, where he co-creates Windows OS.”
“I, for one, think Lenin would have greatly welcomed people like Blumenthal and Johnstone. Maybe Dore.”
“Yeah let’s bring back having to scroll thru 87 pages of five people discussing how to make a pbj sandwich, just so you can get the latest news on WoW.”
“Who must go?”
“You terminally online Yankees take anything you see on Twitter at face value so I’m taking the next logical step by posting about actual problems instead.”
“If you’re visibly trying to mogg someone then it just comes off as cringe. I remember a guy on gear who would always lat spread and pec flex when he was near other guys in the gym. It wasn’t like he was just getting a good pump on, you could watch whenever some other dude entered his “flex bubble” next to him he would actively try to dwarf them. It was cringe as fuck and everyone noticed”
“Leave me alone I’m trying to figure out how to program in Zoon, the Qurpit programming language for Mercurians.”
“Kill your landlord and escape”
“خطاب به مردم شجاع و رنج دیده امریکا: من از ابتدای ریاست جمهوری در کنار شما ایستاده ام و دولتم در کنار شما خواهد بود. ما اعتراضات شما را از نزدیک دنبال می کنیم. شجاعت شما الهام بخش است.”
“Do you get the impression that the Supreme Court doesn’t like me?”
“Play College Football!”
“I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT POST!”
“Thank you Kanye, very cool!”
“I promise not to do this to Greenland!”
“Thank you to all of my great Keyboard Warriors. You are better, and far more brilliant, than anyone on Madison Avenue (Ad Agencies). There is nobody like you!”
“I’m in a communist compound right now it’s warm as hell we got stoves and like fifty blankets you fuckin loser”
“Breadtube has sent in a silly letter. We shall neither print it nor reply to them.”
“Khrushchev? What good has Khrushchev ever done?”
“Shame others and create a clear dichotomy: good people with clear, good posts; and bad people with hazy, blurry posts”
“What a fucking LIAR, dude. What a fucking WEASELLY little, liar, dude. What a fucking, WEASELLY little LIAR, dude. Holy SHIT, dude. HOLY fucking shit, dude. Literally lying. STILL LYING to his audience.”
“It’s apparently never enough until you live naked in the hollowed out log of a tree that fell over of old age and don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. But also, I’m a straight white man, so that’s an original sin that I can’t atone for.”
“if i could make a good wage doing it i would redeem the vtuber scene but im not a fan of having a bunch of posters try to hunt me down”
“stop DMing me. I can’t reply”
“get under my desk and find it themby”
“You’ve gotta study the history of John Brown, 'cause if you’re not John Brown, you might as well get out of town.”
“I hope whichever one of you smug clout chasers stole Hexbear from TC69 gets SWATed.”
“Hammer is coming down on dissenting posters 🔨”
“The mod team has bad epistemology and this is a serious problem, I say confidently as I type on a niche internet forum where one of the main jokes is a pig pooping on its own balls”
“This movement, the ball isn’t going to stop rolling, mods keep taking credit for things they have not caused, they are an ineffectual figurehead more busy on enriching themselves than doing praxis.”
“there are multiple tiers of posters, those knighted who have freedom to harass and be hostile and us peasants who have to keep our heads down and get banned if we make eye contact”
“THE PAST IS EVER-PRESENT. THE SUN SMILES AT YOU WITH ETERNAL MALICE.”
“500 hours of mind pumping action!”
“How many breads have you conquered in your lifetime?”
“Another thing people often dislike about Hexbears is that they often resort to ad hominem attacks when they can’t win an argument. Just in the last 3 days, I have heard the following terms thrown at me: troll, shit, shithead, baby brain, Nazi apologist, colonial comprador, freak, nerd, rabid imperialist westerners, condescending dickbag, disingenuous idiot, and unimaginative impotent weasel. They love calling people names.”
“the official memorial page for the uncountable victims of The Liberal Driller”
“Ukraine is a place.”
“Home of Overused Tagline Gags”
“:yea:”
“It’s always Moscow somewhere.”
“you did a no growth.”
“Because when I arrive, I, I’ll bring the fire”
“i know what you look like and where you live i recommend engaging in good faith. Big eyebrows having twinkcel. cracker.”
“Never stop posting”
“We’re in fuckin 1320 motherfucker”
THE WASHINGTON POST
I’m Taking Democracy Out Onto the Street and Unloading the Contents of My 12-Gauge Into It; 8 Reasons You Motherfuckers Will Still Clap
“I’m doing my part!”
“Okay, if I… if I chop you up in a meat grinder–”
“looks at something that changed a little bit this is kinda like the ship of theseus”
“It was real. I’d seen it. I’d seen it in reality. The mask of humanity fall from capital. It has to take it off to kill everyone – everything you love; all the hope and tenderness in the word. It has to take it off, just for one second. To do the deed.”
“⚠ 🚧 this tagline is under construction 🏗 ⚠”
“Hexbear.net is a red fascist political movement ran by half-hispanic closeted gay catboy enthusiast on brink of collapse after drug addicted deadbeat father who fled country to escape debt collectors gets mad on twitter.”
“I have crime scene photos on my hard drive. Gigs and gigs of it.”
“Bean Dad didn’t get Milkshake Ducked like Shrimp Cereal Guy. Truly the Cliff Wife of Gun Girls”
“Twitter for iPhone”
“Moralists don’t really have beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child’s toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded. Centrism isn’t change. It is control. Look up at the sky, at the dark shapes of Coalition airships hanging there. Ask yourself: is there something sinister in moralism? And then answer: no. God is in his heaven. Everything is normal on Earth.”
“I’m doing sins before I die specifically so I can go to hell and bully Steve Jobs.”
“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of /c/main .”
"…not sure where the suggestion box is, but anyoo, here goes: ya know those little blurb thingies that ya’ll post? it changes each time I refresh the homepage. But- I can’t tell you how often I’ve wanted to respond to one of those, add my two cents as it were. "
“Porn is the lifeblood of a free internet, and the foundation for human inventivness, and drive for innovation.”
“Hope you aren’t too annoyed by a random little tagline about a silly little website. It’s my little neurodivergent light in the dark so to speak. I’m also really high.”
“What’s the turning number of a circle?”
“This is why the hexbear.net is irrelevant and patsocs are growing more support every day, because people with actual coherent material analysis realize you have nothing but idealistic hatred of white people.”
"BIBLE stands for “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.”
FORTNITE stands for nothing.
Put down the controller and pick up the Book if you want your life to have meaning."
“I just schooled you guys on basic 20th century history and I’m about to SPH you all with a button press. Look in the modlog. There’s no chud. You’re just 7 years older and you haven’t learned anything. I was posting on the sub when I wasn’t old enough to vote. I’ll never be dried up like you guys!”
“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.”
“Today, I’m gonna spend 6 hours making new hexbear dot com accounts to debate about how everyone except me cares so much about me being repeatedly banned. I actually care zero, but somebody has to do it. This is how I want to spend my finite time on this earth.”
“An oasis of love and friendship.”
“I simply adore Megamall atmosphere. The hustle and bustle, the beat of the city, the squirming chthonic energy. Magnificent.”
“I’ve been getting really into “hell”. Both as a mindset and as something to strive for, in an organizational sense.”
“I will NOT add a water slide. Where would it even go?”
“This is just like Gorbino’s Quest. This is the Gorbino’s Quest of posting.”
“Help, im trapped down here in this basement. Cast down your dick like rapunzel and tug me out of this wreched hole.”
“I wish someone loved me as much as this horse loves broccoli.”
“idspispopd”
“I have like 200 comments from you crazy tankies in my inbox, do you think I have the time to write paragraphs to everyone?”
“The project leaders of Lemmy multi-server network, who run hexbear.net as an official SUPPORTED instance, use PostgreSQL issues as a means to support China CCP”
"TrueAnon Rule: Never get in a helicopter. "
“A point in the horizon, a melting scene from your childhood. Your mortality is showing. A frantic drift towards nothing, biology doomed to an infinite recursive loop. Teeth with teeth with teeth. Take a bite. Serene scent of a coastal town, warmth of the sun. Bitter tears. Lust for power. This is where you abandoned your dreams. You are a high net worth individual, an expanding vortex of pathetic trauma. Finally a beautiful fucking nerve ape. A pure soul is born, its neurotransactions stutter into being. 30583750937509353 operations per nanosecond. Beauty eludes your porous mind.”
“Careful. Hexbear.net has caught your scent. Now you’ll get a bunch of them replying to you nonstop for days.”
“Now you’ve done it you freak shit. You’ve fucked up. You’re being tracked by the Grid. The eye in the sky is watching. We’re coming for you. Prepare to die.”
“a still image which is used as an emoji, ie data from startrek laughing (or maybe its Lore now that I think about it) indicates hexbear folk”
“It’s that time again. The elites from all over the world gather at the Rothenburg Fortress and wear their stupid rubber suits and masks. Don’t you think it would be really funny if you went there and killed them all? Just fucked them up completely.”
“Interior design is all about minimal scandinavian sewers right now. It’s so elegant.”
“I’m worried about your homunculus. It has been playing too many video games recently.”
“Fursona Honeypot”
“Unless you have investigated a problem, you will be deprived of the right to speak on it. Isn’t that too harsh? Not in the least. When you have not probed into a problem, into the present facts and its past history, and know nothing of its essentials, whatever you say about it will undoubtedly be nonsense. Talking nonsense solves no problems, as everyone knows, so why is it unjust to deprive you of the right to speak? Quite a few comrades always keep their eyes shut and talk nonsense, and for a Communist that is disgraceful. How can a Communist keep his eyes shut and talk nonsense? It won’t do! It won’t do! You must investigate! You must not talk nonsense!”
“ FWIIIIIIHuh!Hooh!HELP!!!Huh!Hooh!”
“Home of Cancel Culture”
“I never saw users threaten to execute other people on Reddit, I’ve seen it twice on hexbear.net”
“Must not besmirch the reputation of BallzLigma420”
“Hoss, the only way I can stomach to watch that pre-death bloated Mango Mussolini on the news is with my resting bitch face applied and a glass of wine at the ready!”
“The internet’s largest forum of Econ 101 dropouts”
“tagline’; DROP TABLE posts;–”
“Democracy Dies in Darkness”
“Good morning. Sunday moning.”
“Powered by phpBB”
“In 2003 I was calling 4chan “404chan” because every link was 404. Did you hear me, KID? I knew 404chan blew in 2003. 2003.”
“ During the cold war, the anticommunist ideological framework could transform any data about existing communist societies into hostile evidence. If the Soviets refused to negotiate a point, they were intransigent and belligerent; if they appeared willing to make concessions, this was but a skillful ploy to put us off our guard. By opposing arms limitations, they would have demonstrated their aggressive intent; but when in fact they supported most armament treaties, it was because they were mendacious and manipulative. If the churches in the USSR were empty, this demonstrated that religion was suppressed; but if the churches were full, this meant the people were rejecting the regime’s atheistic ideology. If the workers went on strike (as happened on infrequent occasions), this was evidence of their alienation from the collectivist system; if they didn’t go on strike, this was because they were intimidated and lacked freedom. A scarcity of consumer goods demonstrated the failure of the economic system; an improvement in consumer supplies meant only that the leaders were attempting to placate a restive population and so maintain a firmer hold over them. If communists in the United States played an important role struggling for the rights of workers, the poor, African-Americans, women, and others, this was only their guileful way of gathering support among disfranchised groups and gaining power for themselves. How one gained power by fighting for the rights of powerless groups was never explained. What we are dealing with is a nonfalsifiable orthodoxy, so assiduously marketed by the ruling interests that it affected people across the entire political spectrum.”
"I’ve seen more cool people on 4chan than decent humans on hexbear.net …
"
“I genuinely would like to understand what you guys at hexbear.net are about but every time I poke my head into that instance you guys are “dunking” every other instance with language nobody else understands. It’s very alienating.”
“Political extremism from Hexbear.net and Lemmygrad.ml, likely funded by the CCP, is ruining Lemmy.ml. I’ve stopped recommending it to anyone, and am considering leaving.”
“Because I am salty and owned. Because I cannot stand seeing the opinions I oppose being so popular among Hexbears. Because I just want revenge. Because I love spreading US propaganda. Besides, can you tell me with confidence that none of the comment replies I got from Hexbear were made with the intent of making me look bad?”
“Guess I’ll go join the ‘post-left’ Raddle cult. Beats having to circlejerk to Vlad/Xi slashfic and yell at people for thinking there’s anything bad outside of NATO all day”
“I obviously care . are you incabaple of accessing information. I care so much , i made a fucking Post about it . and you comment under my post , “who cares ?” Why would this post exist if i didt not care ? Think about things please .”
“It’s finger-lickin’ good.”
“Like Google+, but better.”
“Hexbear.net is like the level 1 boss that we need to defeat to reach the next stage of Lemmy’s growth. They have a bombastic opening attack, but upon closer analysis they also have gaping vulnerabilities.”
“The Chinese government is an abusive autocracy that doesn’t respect the “rights” of its people and answers to nothing and no one other than Xi and profits and power. Those three things are king, and hexbear.net is it’s knight.”
"sh.itjust.works has sent in a silly letter. We shall neither print it nor reply to them.
"
“These hexbear kids are embarrassing eh? Trying to troll the people that invented trolling, before they were born 😂”
“I have a strong sense that a lot of hexbear users aren’t people, they’re CCP LLMs.”
“Home of Jokerfication”
“Liberals? Fascists. Social democrats? Fascists. Democratic socialists? Fascists. Anarcho-communists? Fascists.”
"Hexbear.net is not communists. They’re anarchist trolls making fun of everything—including themselves.
"
“the official ideology of the united states of america is hitlerism-john wayneism columbine thought”
“Can we fucking defederate from hexbear already? I’m so tired of these tween shitheads having the worst informed hot takes and trolling. Generally, I don’t mind a good trolling, I can appreciate the humor of it, but hexbear users don’t have any. They’re just fucking Edge Lords for the sake of it. Be gone”
“I wouldn’t begrudge any Hexbear user(s) from spamming the comm with random political theory posts, especially those of the communist variety”
"Hexbear is naïve, clinging to foundational theory without understanding the basic tenant of people. "
"I am 6’2, 225 pounds with about 10% body fat. I look like a hog. I act like a hog. Nobody has confused me for anything but a hog.
It’s rude as it implies I don’t look or act like a hog.
It’s why women are drawn to me. As my gf says, I wanted you because you’re all hog. My last gf said the same thing."
“that’s a good point, too bad I’m adding a soy wojak over it”
“Renowned Muslim Extremist Forum (dictatorship)(authoritarian)(totalitarian)(monarchy)(anarchchy)(Biarchy)(triatchy)(communist) etc.”
“Remember, the next Antifa meeting is at 's house.”
" needs to log off."
“for like 8 months i thought covid was one of those joke diseases where you ask ‘what’s covid’ and the other guy tells tou to suck his nuts”
“ive decided that the idea of ‘Baths’ sucks. yeah i really want to spend an hour laying down next to my toilet. stupid ass. Suck off me”
“just obliterated a birds nest with a weedwacker becsuse it could see me jacking off in my house at a certain angle”
“You have selected POWER DRIVE.”
“Welcome to Ask Madden. Pass the ball to Brett Favre to win this game.”
“I’m not gutless. I call people I don’t like. Including Gabe Newell - you know him? Yeah, I called him at home. I’m not afraid, you dumb kids are.”
“Posting is labor. I am a Hexbear worker.”
“The internet’s largest Hufflepuff forum”
“I’m Painbow# on Discord. I’m welcoing your phone calls but you’re all scared of me. Looks like I win”
“Why do you rich fucking white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?”
“Me not working hard?
Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak
Or better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak”
“quantum superposition between sigma and alpha male, newest advancement in male technology?”
“But it’s so (giggle blush ain’t I cute totalitarian parody) twirl hair bat eyelashes (harmless girlie) funny”
“NAIVE! I’M ANGERY!”
“你懂了嗎？”
“Powerful. Leftist. Agitprop.”
“Hanoi wept”
“Tod den USA!”
“I MUST SPEAK TO WHOM ATONCE”
“BEEP BOOP COMRADE.”
“PLEASE ADJUST YOUR POSTING CATEGORISATION IN LINE WITH THIS GUIDANCE.”
“who the fuck is screaming “ADJUST YOUR POSTING” at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never adjust my posting”
"MY ANALYSIS INDICATES THAT THIS CONTENT MORE CLOSELY RESEMBLES THAT OF /c/main "
“:sicko-yes:”
“:cat-vibing:”
“To post cringe on the Internet. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To break your volcel oath. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To disagree with my obviously correct takes. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To put an opinion under the chad wojak that more correctly fits under the soy wojak. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“ANNOUNCEMENT: Posting is banned, effective immediately. Any violators will be terminated on sight.”
“Banned in Legacy, Restricted in Vintage.”
“Before this gets deleted by the admins, this asshole took it completely out of context.”
“Cats Can Have Little a Salami as a Treat”
“Ceci n’est pas une tagline.”
“Created by Richard Garfield”
“Never gonna give you up.”
“I warned you about stairs bro! I told you dog!”
“Creeper, aw man.”
“Don’t be evil.”
“Ethically sourced”
“Han shot first.”
“I want to get off Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride.”
“ Where are your fingers?”
“Look behind you.”
“Made in JavaScript!”
“Never heard of Korn, except on the cob. Yim yum.”
“Okay Glass, share with Google+.”
“order corn”
“Quick, call 01189998819991197253!”
“Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!”
“So long, and thanks for all the fish!”
“sudo rm -rf /”
“Déjà vu!”
“It’s post maxi. If grossing in hhyswixw”
“these scents are like “Ennui of a French Gentleman” or something about goth kids and it’s like what does that even mean, she keeps making me smell them and the last one smelled like when you walk into a head shop”
“Your platform represents a signal threat to the integrity of the discourse upon which the stability of your country and the mental health of its youth depend”
“Computer! Show me the bear site.”
“Why should we bother to reply to Vaush? He would reply to us, and we would have to reply to his reply. There’s no end to that. It will be quite enough for us to announce that Vaush is a traitor to the working class, and everyone will understand everything.”
“No Ethical Consumption is supposed to be a call for vigilance against green capitalism, not an excuse to be a selfish piece of shit!”
“I don’t have any ball in the keffal kerfuffle game and just wanted to rant”
“The Saltinx community stands with Hasanabi.”
“You commies do realize they’re imprisoning leaders of different political beliefs? America is the most unfair? Since when have we imprisoned Bernie Sanders for being a tankie?”
“Pretty sure mods are removing my posts by falsely claiming they are “Sectarian” in the modlog and then reposting them elsewhere on the site as their own bits.”
“Be very careful john 👍”
“Degrowth is an ideology that requires them to go outside (uh oh, sorry vampires!) and ‘touch grass’ as these domesticated losers claim is so important and meaningful to their lives. But if they are actually forced to do that wendigo meme praxis, that’s apparently ‘violent authoritarianism’? Ironic”
“folks, the taliban has portrayed us under the soyjak, the website will be shut down tomorrow in disgrace”
“/r/legaladvice please help my amusement park has been hijacked by the Taliban and set on fire”
" MAKE YOURSELF HARDTOKILL"
“First warning, you’re excusing Red Fascism because of other fascists currently existing. That’s incredibly disgusting of you.”
“Bruh, you need a banana bag, a liquid IV, you need a strong green salad, you need some water, you need to wash your dick and you need to wash your fucking nasty wet rat hair, honey”
“What’s up “homie”. What’s up “dawg”. You keeping it real, fo shizzle? You having fun? I recommend getting more creative with your linguistics. The joke is we both know you look like a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller and talk like poindexter.”
“Why can’t you be open about your Stalinism?”
“Direct Action, It Gets the Goods”
“You’re a TERF, Harry!”
“There’s no point. You’ve awoken the hexbear army now.”
“Is this going to be something like the minecraft splash text?”
“I will never be ‘friendly’ with any business owner they should be made to feel like shit whatever they do. Free garlic knots? Fuck you. No free garlic knots? Fuck you. Discounts? Oh, you’re giving me my food for free? Yeah dude, fuck you.”
“The power structure of Hexbear is like a fiefdom, the admins hold the effective power to select what users and what discussions is allowed within their server they rule. Some rulers are generous and benevolent, some are strict, some are hostile, some are laissez-faire except for certain peculiarities.”
“By not removing this post, I’ve directly altered the course of history and convinced a generation of reactionaries that they’re the Harry Potter of cum.”
“Immediately pulling out of my partner to log onto hexbear dot net.”
"Super Monkey Ball? More like Super Monkey LICK MY BALLS. The game sucks donkey dicks and the people who made it should be forced to play it for all eternity. Seriously, what the fuck is this game even supposed to be?! A bunch of monkeys trapped in balls, rolling around and collecting bananas? Who comes up with this shit?! "
“Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.”
" DIVINE LIGHT SEVERED YOU ARE A FLESH AUTOMATON ANIMATED BY NEUROTRANSMITTERS"
“Anyways uhm… I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, no Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.”
“I woke up in the hospital next to a vase of broccoli labeled, “From Jerma”.”
“Every year Jerma985 shows up to my families Thanksgiving dinner, uninvited, unannounced, and just eats, laughs to himself, and then leaves.”
“I remember a poster on hexbear who would always comment spread and upbear flex when he was near other users on the site. It wasn’t like he was just getting a good post on, you could watch whenever some other user entered his “comment bubble” next to him he would actively try to mogg them. It was cringe as fuck and everyone noticed”
“really it’s mostly nazis who stack rocks, not just the oft-hated tourists. all of this hubbub is obviously just a ploy to get us to make more bugs so the PMC Karens can grind them up and feed them to us.”
“that’s very insecure of you. you don’t think your arguments can hold up?”
“You know what a real slippery slope is? Positive feedback loops in ecological settings, such as alterations to a stream hastening erosion of the riverbed.”
“Oxygen used to be poison, as leftists should we try and restore the world to the state it was when most species were poisoned by oxygen?”
“why did trump hide two u.s. balloons while Biden shot one down this is why we have a balloon gap”
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
“HAHA EPIC DUNK SHE IS WEARING THE BDSM SEX COLLAR, WHAT A WOMAN!!! WHO DOES SEX?! SLAM JAM WHAM BAM! Dunk on Ghouls for Ghoulish things, please.”
“Yo this is literally reddit-tier reply bullshit. Why are we tolerating this?”
“I thought it was a pretty fair review. With IGN review scale he can only choose a whole number for the score. To me it reads like a 8.5-8.7 review that got rounded up because he had to pick either 8 or 9.”
“she F♯A♯ on my ∞ til I Lift My Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven”
“There’s no ‘meme’ here, it’s just someone airing out a kink.”
“Hear me out, zero people remembered in history were white. The Queen of England? Indian. Julius Caesar? Chinese. Christopher Columbus? Sioux, ironically. White people don’t actually exist, they were made up by Big Honky to sell more Journey albums.”
“I connected hexbear to my pottermore account so I’m in Hufflepuff, as I should be. It will give me my wand that I have on pottermore as well.”
“I’m out here, blazing my glory”
“I can admit that I haven’t seen the new Puss in Boots but whoo boy lemme tell ya that big daddy Death wolf, I mean homina homina homina, nyah nyah nyah, awoooooooogaaaaaaa and there’s not a thing anyone can do about it.”
“Déjà vu!”
“Siri, seize the means of production.”
“What if we kissed while reading theory? Haha, just kidding… unless? :soviet-bashful:”
“:large-adult-son:”
“Yeah anyone who enjoys “abuser lit” like The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is pretty sus in my eyes. My nephew is getting into it. I’m worried, it’s a straight pipeline from there to spending hours watching Koch-funded tiktok accounts.”
“This book is a pretty good litmus test for politics: do you regard it with respect or disgust?”
“Oh no ☹️☹️☹️ you were supposed to use Starlink to go to Twitter and post “dog coin””
“I just saw a good little tagline under the top pane, and wanted to upbear. Alas, there was no way to do so. My loss will keep me up at night.”
" has had there social position, personal integrity, leftist credentials, and gender credentials savaged."
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you mean by “deleted by creator.” Could you please provide more context or clarify your question? I’ll do my best to help.”
“WELCOME TO THE BONE ZONE, FLESHLINGS!!”
“Pete’s gonna steal beto’s millennial pandering and go for 420 train derailments and reduce it to 69 derailments under his presidency. (He will bow to corporate pressure and have the shittiest 777 derailments per annum)”
“The Atlantic has that name because they are reptilian fish people, not human. Google “innsmouth” for more info about biological taxonomy”
“Yeah it’s weird to bury beans in the woods but why did I have to press it? What’s the harm at the end of the day? In the grand scheme of things? But I kept demanding her to take me to the beans, or at least draw a map or something.”
“Lemmy only has two types of posts, these with less than 10 comments and ones hexbear folks posted in.”
“VOTE!”
“Just a random find and now, as a white person, I am scared of white people. I was genuinely rooting “watch out for that white guy!” and “get his white ass! yeah!”. WTF? I guess, this is what they call the “movie magic”.”
“posting is praxis”
“I am awakened. I saw it all. Never shall i know sleep again, for the ever revealing spiral knows no recess.”
“I’m here to buy Chunko pops for my son. He can’t get enough of that plastic crap.”
“I guess it’s unheard of here to keep your mouth shut until you have something constructive to add. Makes sense!”
“This little bell that alerts you when a fascist is nearby has been ringing nonstop ever since I bought it, how could the woke mob do this??”
“I’m as left as it gets (I voted for pete buttigieg)”
“my shit stack: @eightpoop for 68 degree toilet, @buttcube for hip support, @ringjob for poop tracking, @suprep bowel prep kit (pro)”
"I’m a US army vet, you latte drinking twink. Let that sink in before you disrespect me. "
“So before long we might have a veritable fleet of yachts, an absolute armada of beautiful boaters carrying explosives back and forth to pipelines while NATO ignores them.”
“There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see”
“HAPPY FRIDAY ALL YOU POISONOUS HORSE PASTE EATING SURVIVORS !!!”
“This is screed of yorus seldom exceeds slander and fabrications.”
“You hypocrits always talk about being anti-sectarian but you are self-righteous social chauvinistis!”
“You just had to slide your own rude little dog turd in there two days later eh? Really probably one of the shittiest things that’s been said.”
“Once upon a time, there was a website called Hexbear. It was a place where a bunch of stinky doodoo heads got together to complain about things. All this complaining made them hungry but they only ever ate ass, so they were very malnourished.”
“Am I an ML? An anarchist? Who cares, I just wanna grill (the rich)”
“I’m ready to believe all kinds of slander about americans, but surely you aren’t trying to tell me that they haven’t invented the wheel yet.”
“I tried touching grass once and the grass didn’t even try and start a pointless argument with me. Grass needs to log on and touch keyboard”
“The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy’s cringe and Wendy’s responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024”
“Rest in peace taglines: 07.13.2023 - 07.14.2023.”
“The Chernobyl of Irony Poisoning (Disclaimer: I don’t actually mean this, I’m just very irony poisoned.)”
“Home of /s”
“Eat my whole ass hexbear, I’m not going to hitch my ride to this shit because it tripped half way into making a good point with some vaguely sucdem rhetoric. Most boring movie I’ve seen in theaters. 3+ hours of diahrrea o stg if i see another post praising this movie I’m going to eat my shit. Shape the fuck up, this movie sucks.”
“I appreciate the distinct lack of hexgoons on this post.”
“The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy’s cringe and Wendy’s responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024”
“at 4am I came across someone violently hacking away at a grassy area on my block with a shovel. He was stealing the grass, scooping up the contents into grocery bags. As he saw me he scurried away with his bags of grass. The area is now a hole of dirt.”
“:officer-down:”
“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of Balenciaga”
"Remembering today a trip to NYC my family made in 2000-ish and I saw one of the doormen of a building sitting outside reading an Everquest Ruins Of Kunark strategy guide. "
“Marx failed to consider that when it isn’t observed, surplus value acts as a wave - but when it is observed, it acts as a particle.”
“The sharp rise in Violent/Aggressive Discourse in the Extreme Left is an artifact of the inclusion of Hexbear.net. The amount of history that can be collected from Hexbear right now is minimal”
“We fight the woke in the posts. We fight the woke in the comments. We fight the woke in the users, we will never ever surrender to the woke mob. Hexbear.net is where woke goes to die.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always get the interior ministry post.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never go to a second location.”
“ok yeah fine I was on the extreme side of the line but I stand by the fact that these are intended as waifus and that consumption of anime girls turned nation state is, if nothing else, cringe.”
“Wanna know a secret? Everyone on this site is a liberal, except for you. ;)”
“WARNING: Some viewers may find this content to be cringe. Viewer discretion is advised.”
“As one of the very few people on this site who genuinely roots for Biden, it is my belief that Biden is going to keep failing upwards and despite every attempt to stifle it, will accidentally turn America into a re-vitalized, progressive nation with strong social welfare. (This may sound absurd, but I have a whole set of reasonings and indicators supporting this that are too long to elaborate here)”
“Defederation should only be considered as a last resort, however we made the decision to preemptively defederate from Hexbear.”
“Police arrested a Ukrainian national and charged him with drunk driving after he had crashed his car into a lightpole. The man had no ID on him but when searching the car the police found a Ukrainian driver’s license issued to Boris Johnson, featuring a photo of the disgraced British leader and an expiration date in the year 3000.”
“UFO people, who are right down there with bicyclers and vegans in the groups that the fancy people really enjoy dumping on, were right and that the fancy people were wrong.”
“If you side with Maoist, Dengist, Xiist China and not with the Leninist, Stalinist Soviet Union or Hoxhaist Albania, it is clear to everyone you are a fucking enemy of the people who will be shot. Let me remind you that THIS IS CLASS WAR!?”
“Struggle session planned for Thursday: Beans”
“Hexbear.net is beyond political. Hexbear.net is a cultural, paradigm shift. Hexbear.net is the end times. Hexbear.net is the apocalypse. Hexbear.net is the universe collapsing in on itself and then erupting into a new big bang, spewing out different laws of physics, different laws of POSTING. And I’ll tell you what: it’s been one of the pleasures of my life posting alongside you sexy motherfuckers.”
“My uncle works at Hexbear and he told me you can find Mew under the ‘PPB’ link at the bottom of the page”
“seemingly i have a much lower level of self restraint + dignity”
“officially approved by will menaker”
“mr trump, your fired sir”
“It’s really incredible how many savage assholes there are on hexbear.net. My theory is they’re bots designed to encourage engagement by enraging us. It’s pretty effective.”
“One of the researchers revived two of the worms at the institute by simply rehydrating them with water, before taking around 100 worms to labs in Germany for further analysis, transporting them in her pocket. Later, asking her boyfriend if he would still love her if she was “100 ancient Siberian worms in a lab coat”.”
"Up yours, woke moralists. We’ll see who cancels who "
“The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never…”
“Sorry, but the Soviet Union was still a oligarchic terror state, regardless of its involvement in liberating concentration camps.”
“My guesstimation is that [Hexbear.net] is a disinformation machine based on useful idiots.”
“Chapo Traphouse listeners aren’t tankies. Sure, Lemmygrad users are. But we’re fans of Bernie Sanders and not fans of Lenin, Stalin, Mao, etc.”
“I was recently in Albania. Go to Albania, you despicable neocommunist moralizers, and see if you dare to continue your propagandizing and self-aggrandizement!”
“The posting-to-praxis pipeline”
"Most people on lemmy.world are left-leaning and then everyone from hexbear.net goes over to there, calls them “libs” and shits on them. “Suck off a lib and a fascist comes?” good stuff from a Hexbear admin.
"
“As if the pronouns excuse the rest of hexbear.net’s behavior. I see you deleted some of your hexbear comments from yesterday. Right on time to come here pretending to play nice.”
“admins on lemmy.world just seem like they wanna have the final say on things and felt threatened by the potential influence of a larger instance like hexbear.net”
“#
Is that a denguin lol, nice.”
“Make an account on the great socialist lemmy instance comrad”
“how do you expect anyone to connect “booba waifu” to Katherine Oppenheimer?”
"Bold statements for someone who didn’t read a single linked source.
"
“Why are you bringing up some random German dude? No one cares.”
“Hexbear.net they have their own fork of Lemmy’s code, so they have the technical expertise, and they hate anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their color of fascism.”
“Thing is, these terrorists aren’t trying to destroy the fediverse, they are trying to retaliate specifically against lemmy.world”
“I’m literally the most left person I personally know by a wide margin, and I got called a reactionary”
“I’m truly impressed at how incomprehensible this post is to me. “Treat”, “struggle”, “hog” and “chud” all presumably mean something particular to you.”
"
🔺 This place is a RussianChinese bot farm disinformation campaign
69k filled with CCP shills and Russian trolls.
🔻 I doubt there areanyreal human posters here.
Edit1: Wow, so many updoots!
Edit2: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
"
“Those just sound like some guys the state department wants to give loot crates to tbh”
“Hello I am baby. I am the admin of site now.”
"the maoist uprising against the landlords was the largest and most comprehensive proletarian revolution in history, and led to almost totally-equal redistribution of land among the peasantry
"
“One must imagine Sisyphus jokerfied”
"They say that Hexbear only has enough keyboards for half of its posters, so they send people into threads in pairs, and when the first poster is banned, the second picks up his keyboard and continues posting "
“TrueAnon Rule: If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never go into the sewers, unless you’re a sewer guy.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never trust a South American with a German name.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never release political prisoners to placate protestors.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never give up your nukes.”
“TrueAnon Rule: If you know a guy who’s really into runes, don’t hang out with the rune guy.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always get it in writing.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never talk to cops without a lawyer.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Don’t talk to journalists.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never move anywhere for a religion.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never let the opposition delay elections.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always pay your mercenaries.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never get on a boat.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never move to the compound.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Be normal.”
"It amazes me that people don’t realize that defending democracy doesn’t end with this battle. If you give up on Ukraine, then next comes Taiwan, South Korea, Poland.
This. Is. An. Investment. In. Democracy"
“Yes, yes, I’m a brainwashed liberal.”
“Yeah, Hexbear is a massive lawsuit ready to happen. Far too many Government Cybersecurity bots scanning that instance. I’d rather not have black helicopters hovering above my house due to that site.”
“I know there’s a hexbear community… Chapostrapon… Don’t fuck with the strap life. Don’t act like it’s just a sex thing. I know some of you may be a part of that real lifestyle and whatever do your thing… But for the people acting like it’s nothing, like it’s just some phrase… That lifestyles real…”
“Runtime: 02 :00”
“So you want to murder people you disagree with? You might be happier in Hexbear.net”
“Donald Trump for 2020 Nobel Peace Prize”
“Listen here Jack!”
“I have a PhD in nuclear physics from a top 10 science guy university in the world, and I don’t believe nuclear armageddon is a problem. And I’m also not interested in discussing it (just so that no one comes with bs talking points, I’ve seen enough). I’m just saying this so that you don’t stumble on your own delusional bubble too much.”
“Click Here to apply for your AntiFa Credit Card”
“Here in the US, the people rule. Since socialist policies are in the interest of the people, they will want to vote for politicians who support socialist policies ”
“It’s the worst game they have ever played. Tonight, millions will die.”
“brigading is when you post in a thread from a different instance that’s on your front page”
“From what I can tell, which so far is decidedly little, everyone is calling everyone tankies.”
"no more half measures walter "
“There’s always money in the banana stand.”
“Hexbear.net seems to be the biggest hive of bastards I’ve encountered on all of the federated instances.”
““fuck you I’m gonna stack rocks anyway” as if rock-stacking was their livelyhood.”
“Hexbear.net entire point in federating was to fuck shit up.”
“Xinjiang is a place.”
"Yeeeh I fucking hate tankies… they’re almost always competent trolls who know how to be annoying.
"
“If you’re transgender or non-binary and are looking to connect with others over North Korea apologia, there’s not a better place on the web to be.”
“The most annoying people around the whole Fediverse are Hexbear.”
“Day of attempting to will myself into becoming a lizard”
“justice league (the cartoon show) having cops deciding to shoot & fire an RPG??? at a random liquid-man literally asking for help who just got hit by a car is a hyperreal depiction of modern cops”
“i’m not mincing words here: i’m reporting every one of these comments and emailing hexbear”
“Hexbear.net is a site the wannabe communists and trolls”
“Hexbear is like the terminally online left that makes me ashamed to share leftist sensibilities.”
“Tankies seep out from lemmygrad.ml and hexbear.net and infect poor innocent instances who do not want to be constantly annoyed by them!”
“Hexbear.net is a plague on lemmy, liberals like me can’t wait for the day of instance-level blocking, but honestly I expect you will end up defederated from most major instances.”
“Do you have any arguments besides calling me a lib? You’ve done this like 15 times.”
“Preventing electrical infetterence since 2020”
“:im-vegan:”
“Twenty-thousand years of this, seven more to go!”
“In honor of the revolution, it’s half off at the Gap!”
“There it is, again, that funny feeling…”
“9/11 was an accident, the second plane was just the other pilot trying to see what happened.”
"Hexbear should do a Roblox 2028 projections thing but for Hexbear
"
“Zelensky sent a deranged assassin to my home in the form of an aggressive robin that attacks my living room windows, no doubt he wants to silence my posts pointing out how Ukraine loves nazis. I will not stop.”
“Are veterans babies that can’t wipe their own asses or are they like unborn fetuses? Asking as a republican that wants to be consistent in my stance on this issue in line with my stances on WIC and abortion.”
“Sex as a pantomime of class structure and is bourgeois hedonism. With a change in worker relations to procreation no one will have to work out their frustrations with hierarchy in a sexual manner and such decadency will wither away along with the state.”
“When I vocally stim, people stare at me, but when an NT vocally stims, it’s calling singing smfh”
“i’m white yes. tar and feather me”
“I am not making any statements about “their level of English comprehension” just bc you and people on twitter don’t do crosswords and read a lot of literature / the new yorker does not mean that that”
“like dawg i don’t know if Deng was a revisionist or not I’m 22 i never met the guy”
“Hexbear is also a website with a single megathread, but in typical liberal extravagance, they have two of them.”
“The Hogwarts drama really become the holodomor denial for the toothpaste club.”
“I have thousands of followers. They say I’m blacksuppositoried and debased.”
“I hate V*ush so much the physical revulsion i feel when i hear the slimy whisper that he calls a voice is so bad that it instantly turns me into a 1970s era political lesbian that advocates for the immediate castration of all men”
“In response, I cast Force of Will, exiling Storm Crow.”
“It’s somewhere in the world.”
“AI Joe Biden was the first option to show up , apparently you have to get him to the “sweetheart” or “lover” stage before you rizz him up, because I came straight out flirting with him and he called me inappropriate, mentioned his wife and presidential duties and blocked me, then the site told me I had to sign up to be unblocked”
“I’m literally the most censored poster on this website. And it hurts. Prayed for this exact thing to NOT happen last night. Texted my ex-wife and she assured me another of my posts wouldn’t be removed.”
“she drew her fursona hitting me (human) (i’m not a furry) (nothing against them) (i love all genders) with a car (honda civic) and sent it to me from a burner account on toyhouse.”
“Pegged In The Butt By My Cracked Video Game Provider by Chuck Tingle”
“I think you could probably train a sheep to vote”
“My friends stopped talking to me because during my last birthday party I called them all mercantile class traitors.”
“America deserved 9/11”
“Why would a grown man whose shirt says “Genius at Work” spend all of his time posting lib shit?”
“Now where could my pipe be?”
“That’s Numberwang!”
“The lowest of the low.”
“The world’s largest social media platform.”
“This is a nut-free classroom.”
“YOU SHOULD NOT MODERATE A SITE UNTIL YOU CAN BUY YOUR OWN BOOZE AND WEED AND DROWN YOURSELF IN THEM.”
“Home of the Silver Legion”
“Lee Harvey Oswald was actually going for John Forbes Kerry, there was just a mix-up at the CIA.”
“in this house we believe that matt yglesias is suggesting something when he says he wants to make 1 billion americans”
“Your website is like bait, we were drawn to it like art thief to a van Druys. You thought you were in the clear? Though luck, kid. You thought you were so vigilant. But in reality, you were a poster who was so blind.”
“Anti-Horny Action”
“The only site with an Anacho-Stalinist Mod Cabal”
“When I was like in 5th grade, I was watching the nightly back to back episodes of the Simpsons. But then suddenly it just cuts to Obama walking down the aisle in his house. This asshole ruined my episode. And by the time it went back to the show, it was over and the credits were rolling and the night time adult shows were airing.”
“Based on your vernacular, it sounds like you’re a hexbear.net user washed up on our shores and circumventing the defederation, shilling for Russia.”
“No way most of the population is going to go on here with tankie communist admins banning people left and right”
“The very concept of liking songs based on their length is itself highly suspect unless you are some sort of temporal aesthetician.”
“I searched for the shizo abe chinese student reenactment and found hexbear.net on google.”
“I’d like to say that I’m a communist. Specifically an anarchist, and more specifically than that a soulist.”
“Now I see it’s fashionable to call this ethnic cleansing, but that only makes sense if you’re thinking like a settler.”
“Tankies are the agents of change, coming to plow up liberal’s fields of strange fruit.”
“:sicko-hexbear:”
“:spongebob-party:”
“:vote:”
“Still in line to vote in the 2016 election”
“hexbear.net, wrecker of lemmy peace and strangler of justice, can never evade the blame for having connived at and fostered tankie’s hideous war crimes that ruthlessly killed the liberal dream of lemmy.”
“lemmy.world says hexbear.net is becoming “the squad” of lemmy after the users called the us president “Genocide Joe””
“Committed liberal lefty as far back as McGovern (look it up, kids). Reader of books. Do not get between me and my morning coffee and NYT. Typo queen.”
“Eat the real estate agent an poop in their shoes”
“Tommy needy drinky.”
“Home of the cromulent fuckcrustable.”
"From the river to the sea "
"Fullmetal Alchemist.
Fullmetal Alchemist! "
"“Aberdeen is the oil capital of Europe, very rich…” Trump says, at which point, the judge interjects: “Irrelevant!”
Trump adds softly, “It is.”"
“i been hacked.
all my posts gone. this just deleted please help me”
“my first lemmy experience was getting insulted on hexbear”
“Hear that? Im a goatfucker, a turkeyfucker, and chickenfucker all because I ate a 3 meat sandwich.”
“Wait, is there a way for our comments to be turned into taglines?”
“Hexbear proves horseshoe theory correct, its leftist storefront and why fuck is my instance federated with these pieces of shit?”
“I don’t think people who jack it to lion king rule 34 porn should be arrested.”
“it is extremely silly to believe a toddler is doing exaggerated, dramatic response to smoke exposure, and it is silly for a smoker to be offended by the response of a small child, especially so offended that they’re posting about it.”
“Hamas fighter with the skibidi rizz blows up sussy gyat ohio style”
“The shitposters of hexbear who just came here to have flamewars because the mods of hexbear apparently don’t control anything anymore”
“hexbear is an online marxist transgender cult”
“I’m not sure why you would assume I’m American. I mean, you happen to be right in this case, but I’m still not sure why you’d assume that.”
“The fuck that you hexbears don’t even realize how significant fedjacketing is and why we don’t do it, just says everything one needs to know”
“Once the food is ruined I’ll probably yell some anti colonial slogan that’s along the lines of “none of you deserve to live” before making a quick exit and hopefully not getting arrested.”
“hexbear can be a bit ridiculous (honestly that place confuses me, I see both the absolute based and most cringe posts coming out of hexbear users)”
" "
“I mostly just wear a shirt with Pepe Le Pew on it unless it’s a special occasion.”
" Forget touching grass. This guy needs to make sweet love to the grass, marry the grass, and have little grass babies with the grass "
“420th Tankie Brigade, Order of Kutuzov 2nd class, Hexbear Division, 69th Rifle Corps, 3rd Shock Army, 1st Belorussian Posting Front.”
“What are the pronouns this ballon is going to go by? Welcome to the #Budlight zone”
“Dear American Leftists, please vote for democrats this coming year. If Trump is re-elected, it’s game over. I wish i could tell you that a vote for democrats would get you what you really want, but America isn’t even close. All I can offer is some temporary refuge from plunging into a dictatorship.”
Part 5
“Consider if you will the sensational (and quite frankly, often objectionable) nature of these emotes! If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this Web site’s collection of emotes is tantamount to blasphemy.”
“Your entire moderation policy has been conditioned by me and random people from cumtown. Face it. I can act, you can’t even remember online isn’t real. Who do you think is going to win here?”
“Reagan was the smuggest motherfucker alive and every Western politician since has been trying to replicate his White Boy Magic.”
“Of what use is an infant?”
“Personally I wouldn’t post a on such little website. If you want to do debatelord crap then you need to outline the topics much more clearly and at least set proper start times for it that people adhere to, this whole site reeks of lack of organisation, internet drama and zero professionalism.”
“Well I’m from the Bay Area so obviously I listen to Guapdad, Smino, you know, the Zoink Gang guys, plus like P-Lo, Allblack… do you know any of these people?”
“Just admit you got wrecked on the astral plane, because you are not coming back from this.”
“I found out my girlfriend has a Jiang Qing fan page and she keeps calling me a capitalist roader. I’ve been trying to explain the benefits of socialism with Chinese characteristics, but she just laughs at me and yells “REVISIONIST” anytime I bring it up.”
“Actually, using damaging moves makes you just as bad as Team Rocket”
“what is the evolutionary need for finger nails?”
“Nah he’s on his Lewis and Clark type beat, tryna look all jaundiced and shit”
“I feel like redditors are really trying to gang up on me”
“I have a mole on the mod team who is going to take this whole site down and install me as Hex King.”
“As a enjoyer of quite a number of treats, I disagree that criticism of treats (whatever they are) is the same as treat bashing. That’d be like a treat defender bashing treats … which happened somehow but still.”
“Elfangor then deserts his post and hides as a human on Earth, where he co-creates Windows OS.”
“I, for one, think Lenin would have greatly welcomed people like Blumenthal and Johnstone. Maybe Dore.”
“Yeah let’s bring back having to scroll thru 87 pages of five people discussing how to make a pbj sandwich, just so you can get the latest news on WoW.”
“Who must go?”
“You terminally online Yankees take anything you see on Twitter at face value so I’m taking the next logical step by posting about actual problems instead.”
“If you’re visibly trying to mogg someone then it just comes off as cringe. I remember a guy on gear who would always lat spread and pec flex when he was near other guys in the gym. It wasn’t like he was just getting a good pump on, you could watch whenever some other dude entered his “flex bubble” next to him he would actively try to dwarf them. It was cringe as fuck and everyone noticed”
“Leave me alone I’m trying to figure out how to program in Zoon, the Qurpit programming language for Mercurians.”
“Kill your landlord and escape”
“خطاب به مردم شجاع و رنج دیده امریکا: من از ابتدای ریاست جمهوری در کنار شما ایستاده ام و دولتم در کنار شما خواهد بود. ما اعتراضات شما را از نزدیک دنبال می کنیم. شجاعت شما الهام بخش است.”
“Do you get the impression that the Supreme Court doesn’t like me?”
“Play College Football!”
“I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT POST!”
“Thank you Kanye, very cool!”
“I promise not to do this to Greenland!”
“Thank you to all of my great Keyboard Warriors. You are better, and far more brilliant, than anyone on Madison Avenue (Ad Agencies). There is nobody like you!”
“I’m in a communist compound right now it’s warm as hell we got stoves and like fifty blankets you fuckin loser”
“Breadtube has sent in a silly letter. We shall neither print it nor reply to them.”
“Khrushchev? What good has Khrushchev ever done?”
“Shame others and create a clear dichotomy: good people with clear, good posts; and bad people with hazy, blurry posts”
“What a fucking LIAR, dude. What a fucking WEASELLY little, liar, dude. What a fucking, WEASELLY little LIAR, dude. Holy SHIT, dude. HOLY fucking shit, dude. Literally lying. STILL LYING to his audience.”
“It’s apparently never enough until you live naked in the hollowed out log of a tree that fell over of old age and don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. But also, I’m a straight white man, so that’s an original sin that I can’t atone for.”
“if i could make a good wage doing it i would redeem the vtuber scene but im not a fan of having a bunch of posters try to hunt me down”
“stop DMing me. I can’t reply”
“get under my desk and find it themby”
“You’ve gotta study the history of John Brown, 'cause if you’re not John Brown, you might as well get out of town.”
“I hope whichever one of you smug clout chasers stole Hexbear from TC69 gets SWATed.”
“Hammer is coming down on dissenting posters 🔨”
“The mod team has bad epistemology and this is a serious problem, I say confidently as I type on a niche internet forum where one of the main jokes is a pig pooping on its own balls”
“This movement, the ball isn’t going to stop rolling, mods keep taking credit for things they have not caused, they are an ineffectual figurehead more busy on enriching themselves than doing praxis.”
“there are multiple tiers of posters, those knighted who have freedom to harass and be hostile and us peasants who have to keep our heads down and get banned if we make eye contact”
“THE PAST IS EVER-PRESENT. THE SUN SMILES AT YOU WITH ETERNAL MALICE.”
“500 hours of mind pumping action!”
“How many breads have you conquered in your lifetime?”
“© 2020 Antifa Inc.”
“Time for a struggle session”
“Another thing people often dislike about Hexbears is that they often resort to ad hominem attacks when they can’t win an argument. Just in the last 3 days, I have heard the following terms thrown at me: troll, shit, shithead, baby brain, Nazi apologist, colonial comprador, freak, nerd, rabid imperialist westerners, condescending dickbag, disingenuous idiot, and unimaginative impotent weasel. They love calling people names.”
“the official memorial page for the uncountable victims of The Liberal Driller”
“Ukraine is a place.”
“Home of Overused Tagline Gags”
“:yea:”
“It’s always Moscow somewhere.”
“you did a no growth.”
“Because when I arrive, I, I’ll bring the fire”
“i know what you look like and where you live i recommend engaging in good faith. Big eyebrows having twinkcel. cracker.”
“Never stop posting”
“We’re in fuckin 1320 motherfucker”
THE WASHINGTON POST
I’m Taking Democracy Out Onto the Street and Unloading the Contents of My 12-Gauge Into It; 8 Reasons You Motherfuckers Will Still Clap
“I’m doing my part!”
“Okay, if I… if I chop you up in a meat grinder–”
“looks at something that changed a little bit this is kinda like the ship of theseus”
“It was real. I’d seen it. I’d seen it in reality. The mask of humanity fall from capital. It has to take it off to kill everyone – everything you love; all the hope and tenderness in the word. It has to take it off, just for one second. To do the deed.”
“⚠ 🚧 this tagline is under construction 🏗 ⚠”
“Hexbear.net is a red fascist political movement ran by half-hispanic closeted gay catboy enthusiast on brink of collapse after drug addicted deadbeat father who fled country to escape debt collectors gets mad on twitter.”
“I have crime scene photos on my hard drive. Gigs and gigs of it.”
“Bean Dad didn’t get Milkshake Ducked like Shrimp Cereal Guy. Truly the Cliff Wife of Gun Girls”
“Twitter for iPhone”
“Moralists don’t really have beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child’s toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded. Centrism isn’t change. It is control. Look up at the sky, at the dark shapes of Coalition airships hanging there. Ask yourself: is there something sinister in moralism? And then answer: no. God is in his heaven. Everything is normal on Earth.”
“I’m doing sins before I die specifically so I can go to hell and bully Steve Jobs.”
“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of /c/main .”
"…not sure where the suggestion box is, but anyoo, here goes: ya know those little blurb thingies that ya’ll post? it changes each time I refresh the homepage. But- I can’t tell you how often I’ve wanted to respond to one of those, add my two cents as it were. "
“Porn is the lifeblood of a free internet, and the foundation for human inventivness, and drive for innovation.”
“Hope you aren’t too annoyed by a random little tagline about a silly little website. It’s my little neurodivergent light in the dark so to speak. I’m also really high.”
“What’s the turning number of a circle?”
“This is why the hexbear.net is irrelevant and patsocs are growing more support every day, because people with actual coherent material analysis realize you have nothing but idealistic hatred of white people.”
"BIBLE stands for “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.”
FORTNITE stands for nothing.
Put down the controller and pick up the Book if you want your life to have meaning."
“I just schooled you guys on basic 20th century history and I’m about to SPH you all with a button press. Look in the modlog. There’s no chud. You’re just 7 years older and you haven’t learned anything. I was posting on the sub when I wasn’t old enough to vote. I’ll never be dried up like you guys!”
“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.”
Part 6
“Today, I’m gonna spend 6 hours making new hexbear dot com accounts to debate about how everyone except me cares so much about me being repeatedly banned. I actually care zero, but somebody has to do it. This is how I want to spend my finite time on this earth.”
“An oasis of love and friendship.”
“I simply adore Megamall atmosphere. The hustle and bustle, the beat of the city, the squirming chthonic energy. Magnificent.”
“I’ve been getting really into “hell”. Both as a mindset and as something to strive for, in an organizational sense.”
“I will NOT add a water slide. Where would it even go?”
“This is just like Gorbino’s Quest. This is the Gorbino’s Quest of posting.”
“Help, im trapped down here in this basement. Cast down your dick like rapunzel and tug me out of this wreched hole.”
“I wish someone loved me as much as this horse loves broccoli.”
“idspispopd”
“I have like 200 comments from you crazy tankies in my inbox, do you think I have the time to write paragraphs to everyone?”
“The project leaders of Lemmy multi-server network, who run hexbear.net as an official SUPPORTED instance, use PostgreSQL issues as a means to support China CCP”
"TrueAnon Rule: Never get in a helicopter. "
“A point in the horizon, a melting scene from your childhood. Your mortality is showing. A frantic drift towards nothing, biology doomed to an infinite recursive loop. Teeth with teeth with teeth. Take a bite. Serene scent of a coastal town, warmth of the sun. Bitter tears. Lust for power. This is where you abandoned your dreams. You are a high net worth individual, an expanding vortex of pathetic trauma. Finally a beautiful fucking nerve ape. A pure soul is born, its neurotransactions stutter into being. 30583750937509353 operations per nanosecond. Beauty eludes your porous mind.”
“Careful. Hexbear.net has caught your scent. Now you’ll get a bunch of them replying to you nonstop for days.”
“Now you’ve done it you freak shit. You’ve fucked up. You’re being tracked by the Grid. The eye in the sky is watching. We’re coming for you. Prepare to die.”
“a still image which is used as an emoji, ie data from startrek laughing (or maybe its Lore now that I think about it) indicates hexbear folk”
“It’s that time again. The elites from all over the world gather at the Rothenburg Fortress and wear their stupid rubber suits and masks. Don’t you think it would be really funny if you went there and killed them all? Just fucked them up completely.”
“Interior design is all about minimal scandinavian sewers right now. It’s so elegant.”
“I’m worried about your homunculus. It has been playing too many video games recently.”
“Fursona Honeypot”
“Unless you have investigated a problem, you will be deprived of the right to speak on it. Isn’t that too harsh? Not in the least. When you have not probed into a problem, into the present facts and its past history, and know nothing of its essentials, whatever you say about it will undoubtedly be nonsense. Talking nonsense solves no problems, as everyone knows, so why is it unjust to deprive you of the right to speak? Quite a few comrades always keep their eyes shut and talk nonsense, and for a Communist that is disgraceful. How can a Communist keep his eyes shut and talk nonsense? It won’t do! It won’t do! You must investigate! You must not talk nonsense!”
“
FWIIIIII Huh! Hooh! HELP!!! Huh! Hooh!”
“Home of Cancel Culture”
“I never saw users threaten to execute other people on Reddit, I’ve seen it twice on hexbear.net”
“Must not besmirch the reputation of BallzLigma420”
“Hoss, the only way I can stomach to watch that pre-death bloated Mango Mussolini on the news is with my resting bitch face applied and a glass of wine at the ready!”
“Better ingredients. Better pizza. Mikhail Gorbachev”
“The internet’s largest forum of Econ 101 dropouts”
“tagline’; DROP TABLE posts;–”
“Democracy Dies in Darkness”
“Good morning. Sunday moning.”
“Powered by phpBB”
“In 2003 I was calling 4chan “404chan” because every link was 404. Did you hear me, KID? I knew 404chan blew in 2003. 2003.”
“
During the cold war, the anticommunist ideological framework could transform any data about existing communist societies into hostile evidence. If the Soviets refused to negotiate a point, they were intransigent and belligerent; if they appeared willing to make concessions, this was but a skillful ploy to put us off our guard. By opposing arms limitations, they would have demonstrated their aggressive intent; but when in fact they supported most armament treaties, it was because they were mendacious and manipulative. If the churches in the USSR were empty, this demonstrated that religion was suppressed; but if the churches were full, this meant the people were rejecting the regime’s atheistic ideology. If the workers went on strike (as happened on infrequent occasions), this was evidence of their alienation from the collectivist system; if they didn’t go on strike, this was because they were intimidated and lacked freedom. A scarcity of consumer goods demonstrated the failure of the economic system; an improvement in consumer supplies meant only that the leaders were attempting to placate a restive population and so maintain a firmer hold over them. If communists in the United States played an important role struggling for the rights of workers, the poor, African-Americans, women, and others, this was only their guileful way of gathering support among disfranchised groups and gaining power for themselves. How one gained power by fighting for the rights of powerless groups was never explained. What we are dealing with is a nonfalsifiable orthodoxy, so assiduously marketed by the ruling interests that it affected people across the entire political spectrum.”
"I’ve seen more cool people on 4chan than decent humans on hexbear.net …
"
“I genuinely would like to understand what you guys at hexbear.net are about but every time I poke my head into that instance you guys are “dunking” every other instance with language nobody else understands. It’s very alienating.”
“Political extremism from Hexbear.net and Lemmygrad.ml, likely funded by the CCP, is ruining Lemmy.ml. I’ve stopped recommending it to anyone, and am considering leaving.”
“Because I am salty and owned. Because I cannot stand seeing the opinions I oppose being so popular among Hexbears. Because I just want revenge. Because I love spreading US propaganda. Besides, can you tell me with confidence that none of the comment replies I got from Hexbear were made with the intent of making me look bad?”
“Guess I’ll go join the ‘post-left’ Raddle cult. Beats having to circlejerk to Vlad/Xi slashfic and yell at people for thinking there’s anything bad outside of NATO all day”
“I obviously care . are you incabaple of accessing information. I care so much , i made a fucking Post about it . and you comment under my post , “who cares ?” Why would this post exist if i didt not care ? Think about things please .”
“It’s finger-lickin’ good.”
“Like Google+, but better.”
“Hexbear.net is like the level 1 boss that we need to defeat to reach the next stage of Lemmy’s growth. They have a bombastic opening attack, but upon closer analysis they also have gaping vulnerabilities.”
“The Chinese government is an abusive autocracy that doesn’t respect the “rights” of its people and answers to nothing and no one other than Xi and profits and power. Those three things are king, and hexbear.net is it’s knight.”
"sh.itjust.works has sent in a silly letter. We shall neither print it nor reply to them. "
“These hexbear kids are embarrassing eh? Trying to troll the people that invented trolling, before they were born 😂”
“I have a strong sense that a lot of hexbear users aren’t people, they’re CCP LLMs.”
“Home of Jokerfication”
“Liberals? Fascists. Social democrats? Fascists. Democratic socialists? Fascists. Anarcho-communists? Fascists.”
"Hexbear.net is not communists. They’re anarchist trolls making fun of everything—including themselves. "
“the official ideology of the united states of america is hitlerism-john wayneism columbine thought”
“who built the cages?”
"YOU! Yes, you, . Go read One Piece
"
“Can we fucking defederate from hexbear already? I’m so tired of these tween shitheads having the worst informed hot takes and trolling. Generally, I don’t mind a good trolling, I can appreciate the humor of it, but hexbear users don’t have any. They’re just fucking Edge Lords for the sake of it. Be gone”
“I wouldn’t begrudge any Hexbear user(s) from spamming the comm with random political theory posts, especially those of the communist variety”
"Hexbear is naïve, clinging to foundational theory without understanding the basic tenant of people. "
"I am 6’2, 225 pounds with about 10% body fat. I look like a hog. I act like a hog. Nobody has confused me for anything but a hog.
It’s rude as it implies I don’t look or act like a hog.
It’s why women are drawn to me. As my gf says, I wanted you because you’re all hog. My last gf said the same thing."
“that’s a good point, too bad I’m adding a soy wojak over it”
Part 7
“Renowned Muslim Extremist Forum (dictatorship)(authoritarian)(totalitarian)(monarchy)(anarchchy)(Biarchy)(triatchy)(communist) etc.”
“Remember, the next Antifa meeting is at 's house.”
" needs to log off."
“for like 8 months i thought covid was one of those joke diseases where you ask ‘what’s covid’ and the other guy tells tou to suck his nuts”
“ive decided that the idea of ‘Baths’ sucks. yeah i really want to spend an hour laying down next to my toilet. stupid ass. Suck off me”
“just obliterated a birds nest with a weedwacker becsuse it could see me jacking off in my house at a certain angle”
“You have selected
POWER DRIVE.”“Welcome to Ask Madden. Pass the ball to Brett Favre to win this game.”
“I’m not gutless. I call people I don’t like. Including Gabe Newell - you know him? Yeah, I called him at home. I’m not afraid, you dumb kids are.”
“Posting is labor. I am a Hexbear worker.”
“The internet’s largest Hufflepuff forum”
“I’m Painbow# on Discord. I’m welcoing your phone calls but you’re all scared of me. Looks like I win”
“Why do you rich fucking white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?”
“Me not working hard? Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak Or better yet, go to Times Square Take a picture of me with a Kodak”
“quantum superposition between sigma and alpha male, newest advancement in male technology?”
“But it’s so (giggle blush ain’t I cute totalitarian parody) twirl hair bat eyelashes (harmless girlie) funny”
“NAIVE! I’M ANGERY!”
“你懂了嗎？”
“Powerful. Leftist. Agitprop.”
“Hanoi wept”
“Tod den USA!”
“I MUST SPEAK TO WHOM ATONCE”
“BEEP BOOP COMRADE.”
“PLEASE ADJUST YOUR POSTING CATEGORISATION IN LINE WITH THIS GUIDANCE.”
“who the fuck is screaming “ADJUST YOUR POSTING” at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never adjust my posting”
"MY ANALYSIS INDICATES THAT THIS CONTENT MORE CLOSELY RESEMBLES THAT OF /c/main "
“:sicko-yes:”
“:cat-vibing:”
“To post cringe on the Internet. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To break your volcel oath. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To disagree with my obviously correct takes. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“To put an opinion under the chad wojak that more correctly fits under the soy wojak. This is a twelfth type of liberalism.”
“ANNOUNCEMENT: Posting is banned, effective immediately. Any violators will be terminated on sight.”
“Banned in Legacy, Restricted in Vintage.”
“Before this gets deleted by the admins, this asshole took it completely out of context.”
“Cats Can Have Little a Salami as a Treat”
“Ceci n’est pas une tagline.”
“Created by Richard Garfield”
“Never gonna give you up.”
“I warned you about stairs bro! I told you dog!”
“Creeper, aw man.”
“Don’t be evil.”
“Ethically sourced”
“Han shot first.”
“I want to get off Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride.”
“
Where are your fingers?”
“Look behind you.”
“Made in JavaScript!”
“Never heard of Korn, except on the cob. Yim yum.”
“Okay Glass, share with Google+.”
“order corn”
“Quick, call 01189998819991197253!”
“Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!”
“So long, and thanks for all the fish!”
“sudo rm -rf /”
“Déjà vu!”
“It’s post maxi. If grossing in hhyswixw”
“these scents are like “Ennui of a French Gentleman” or something about goth kids and it’s like what does that even mean, she keeps making me smell them and the last one smelled like when you walk into a head shop”
“Your platform represents a signal threat to the integrity of the discourse upon which the stability of your country and the mental health of its youth depend”
“Computer! Show me the bear site.”
“Why should we bother to reply to Vaush? He would reply to us, and we would have to reply to his reply. There’s no end to that. It will be quite enough for us to announce that Vaush is a traitor to the working class, and everyone will understand everything.”
“No Ethical Consumption is supposed to be a call for vigilance against green capitalism, not an excuse to be a selfish piece of shit!”
“I don’t have any ball in the keffal kerfuffle game and just wanted to rant”
“The Saltinx community stands with Hasanabi.”
“You commies do realize they’re imprisoning leaders of different political beliefs? America is the most unfair? Since when have we imprisoned Bernie Sanders for being a tankie?”
“Pretty sure mods are removing my posts by falsely claiming they are “Sectarian” in the modlog and then reposting them elsewhere on the site as their own bits.”
“Be very careful john 👍”
“Degrowth is an ideology that requires them to go outside (uh oh, sorry vampires!) and ‘touch grass’ as these domesticated losers claim is so important and meaningful to their lives. But if they are actually forced to do that wendigo meme praxis, that’s apparently ‘violent authoritarianism’? Ironic”
“folks, the taliban has portrayed us under the soyjak, the website will be shut down tomorrow in disgrace”
“/r/legaladvice please help my amusement park has been hijacked by the Taliban and set on fire”
"
MAKE YOURSELFHARDTOKILL"“First warning, you’re excusing Red Fascism because of other fascists currently existing. That’s incredibly disgusting of you.”
“/c/main is the worst comm”
“/c/porn is the best comm”
"# Unless the AI requires dead human flesh to exist that doesn’t really make sense
"
“Taking a dog into a gay bar, saying “who’s a good boy” and writing down which guys react subconsciously”
“deleted by creator”
“Please wait warmly, folks are making tea”
“i’ve invested my life savings into this jpeg”
“what if it was He𝕏bear”
“チャポ？何それ？あのメキシコ人麻薬密売者か？”
“I HAVE BEEN DENIED. YOU CANNOT FUCKING DENY ME.”
“Ad Astra Per Sanguinem”
“The top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1%”
“Uh, let me be clear”
“The volcel police are on the scene!”
“Bruh, you need a banana bag, a liquid IV, you need a strong green salad, you need some water, you need to wash your dick and you need to wash your fucking nasty wet rat hair, honey”
“What’s up “homie”. What’s up “dawg”. You keeping it real, fo shizzle? You having fun? I recommend getting more creative with your linguistics. The joke is we both know you look like a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller and talk like poindexter.”
“Why can’t you be open about your Stalinism?”
“Direct Action, It Gets the Goods”
“You’re a TERF, Harry!”
“There’s no point. You’ve awoken the hexbear army now.”
“Is this going to be something like the minecraft splash text?”
“I will never be ‘friendly’ with any business owner they should be made to feel like shit whatever they do. Free garlic knots? Fuck you. No free garlic knots? Fuck you. Discounts? Oh, you’re giving me my food for free? Yeah dude, fuck you.”
“The power structure of Hexbear is like a fiefdom, the admins hold the effective power to select what users and what discussions is allowed within their server they rule. Some rulers are generous and benevolent, some are strict, some are hostile, some are laissez-faire except for certain peculiarities.”
“By not removing this post, I’ve directly altered the course of history and convinced a generation of reactionaries that they’re the Harry Potter of cum.”
“Immediately pulling out of my partner to log onto hexbear dot net.”
"Super Monkey Ball? More like Super Monkey LICK MY BALLS. The game sucks donkey dicks and the people who made it should be forced to play it for all eternity. Seriously, what the fuck is this game even supposed to be?! A bunch of monkeys trapped in balls, rolling around and collecting bananas? Who comes up with this shit?! "
“Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.”
"
DIVINE LIGHTSEVEREDYOU ARE A FLESH AUTOMATONANIMATED BY NEUROTRANSMITTERS"“Anyways uhm… I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, no Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.”
“I woke up in the hospital next to a vase of broccoli labeled, “From Jerma”.”
“Every year Jerma985 shows up to my families Thanksgiving dinner, uninvited, unannounced, and just eats, laughs to himself, and then leaves.”
“I remember a poster on hexbear who would always comment spread and upbear flex when he was near other users on the site. It wasn’t like he was just getting a good post on, you could watch whenever some other user entered his “comment bubble” next to him he would actively try to mogg them. It was cringe as fuck and everyone noticed”
“really it’s mostly nazis who stack rocks, not just the oft-hated tourists. all of this hubbub is obviously just a ploy to get us to make more bugs so the PMC Karens can grind them up and feed them to us.”
“that’s very insecure of you. you don’t think your arguments can hold up?”
“You know what a real slippery slope is? Positive feedback loops in ecological settings, such as alterations to a stream hastening erosion of the riverbed.”
“Oxygen used to be poison, as leftists should we try and restore the world to the state it was when most species were poisoned by oxygen?”
“why did trump hide two u.s. balloons while Biden shot one down this is why we have a balloon gap”
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
Part 8
“HAHA EPIC DUNK SHE IS WEARING THE BDSM SEX COLLAR, WHAT A WOMAN!!! WHO DOES SEX?! SLAM JAM WHAM BAM! Dunk on Ghouls for Ghoulish things, please.”
“Yo this is literally reddit-tier reply bullshit. Why are we tolerating this?”
“I thought it was a pretty fair review. With IGN review scale he can only choose a whole number for the score. To me it reads like a 8.5-8.7 review that got rounded up because he had to pick either 8 or 9.”
“she F♯A♯ on my ∞ til I Lift My Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven”
“There’s no ‘meme’ here, it’s just someone airing out a kink.”
“Hear me out, zero people remembered in history were white. The Queen of England? Indian. Julius Caesar? Chinese. Christopher Columbus? Sioux, ironically. White people don’t actually exist, they were made up by Big Honky to sell more Journey albums.”
“I connected hexbear to my pottermore account so I’m in Hufflepuff, as I should be. It will give me my wand that I have on pottermore as well.”
“I’m out here, blazing my glory”
“I can admit that I haven’t seen the new Puss in Boots but whoo boy lemme tell ya that big daddy Death wolf, I mean homina homina homina, nyah nyah nyah, awoooooooogaaaaaaa and there’s not a thing anyone can do about it.”
“Déjà vu!”
“Siri, seize the means of production.”
“What if we kissed while reading theory? Haha, just kidding… unless? :soviet-bashful:”
“:large-adult-son:”
“Yeah anyone who enjoys “abuser lit” like The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is pretty sus in my eyes. My nephew is getting into it. I’m worried, it’s a straight pipeline from there to spending hours watching Koch-funded tiktok accounts.”
“This book is a pretty good litmus test for politics: do you regard it with respect or disgust?”
“Oh no ☹️☹️☹️ you were supposed to use Starlink to go to Twitter and post “dog coin””
“I just saw a good little tagline under the top pane, and wanted to upbear. Alas, there was no way to do so. My loss will keep me up at night.”
" has had there social position, personal integrity, leftist credentials, and gender credentials savaged."
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you mean by “deleted by creator.” Could you please provide more context or clarify your question? I’ll do my best to help.”
“WELCOME TO THE BONE ZONE, FLESHLINGS!!”
“Pete’s gonna steal beto’s millennial pandering and go for 420 train derailments and reduce it to 69 derailments under his presidency. (He will bow to corporate pressure and have the shittiest 777 derailments per annum)”
“The Atlantic has that name because they are reptilian fish people, not human. Google “innsmouth” for more info about biological taxonomy”
“Yeah it’s weird to bury beans in the woods but why did I have to press it? What’s the harm at the end of the day? In the grand scheme of things? But I kept demanding her to take me to the beans, or at least draw a map or something.”
“Lemmy only has two types of posts, these with less than 10 comments and ones hexbear folks posted in.”
“VOTE!”
“Just a random find and now, as a white person, I am scared of white people. I was genuinely rooting “watch out for that white guy!” and “get his white ass! yeah!”. WTF? I guess, this is what they call the “movie magic”.”
“posting is praxis”
“I am awakened. I saw it all. Never shall i know sleep again, for the ever revealing spiral knows no recess.”
“I’m here to buy Chunko pops for my son. He can’t get enough of that plastic crap.”
“I guess it’s unheard of here to keep your mouth shut until you have something constructive to add. Makes sense!”
“This little bell that alerts you when a fascist is nearby has been ringing nonstop ever since I bought it, how could the woke mob do this??”
“I’m as left as it gets (I voted for pete buttigieg)”
“my shit stack: @eightpoop for 68 degree toilet, @buttcube for hip support, @ringjob for poop tracking, @suprep bowel prep kit (pro)”
"I’m a US army vet, you latte drinking twink. Let that sink in before you disrespect me. "
“So before long we might have a veritable fleet of yachts, an absolute armada of beautiful boaters carrying explosives back and forth to pipelines while NATO ignores them.”
“There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see”
“HAPPY FRIDAY ALL YOU POISONOUS HORSE PASTE EATING SURVIVORS !!!”
“This is screed of yorus seldom exceeds slander and fabrications.”
“You hypocrits always talk about being anti-sectarian but you are self-righteous social chauvinistis!”
“You just had to slide your own rude little dog turd in there two days later eh? Really probably one of the shittiest things that’s been said.”
“Once upon a time, there was a website called Hexbear. It was a place where a bunch of stinky doodoo heads got together to complain about things. All this complaining made them hungry but they only ever ate ass, so they were very malnourished.”
“Am I an ML? An anarchist? Who cares, I just wanna grill (the rich)”
“I’m ready to believe all kinds of slander about americans, but surely you aren’t trying to tell me that they haven’t invented the wheel yet.”
“Yeah, extremist political instances like hexbear.net and Lemmygrad.ml are killing Lemmy.”
“I tried touching grass once and the grass didn’t even try and start a pointless argument with me. Grass needs to log on and touch keyboard”
“The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy’s cringe and Wendy’s responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024”
“Rest in peace taglines: 07.13.2023 - 07.14.2023.”
“The Chernobyl of Irony Poisoning (Disclaimer: I don’t actually mean this, I’m just very irony poisoned.)”
“Home of /s”
“Eat my whole ass hexbear, I’m not going to hitch my ride to this shit because it tripped half way into making a good point with some vaguely sucdem rhetoric. Most boring movie I’ve seen in theaters. 3+ hours of diahrrea o stg if i see another post praising this movie I’m going to eat my shit. Shape the fuck up, this movie sucks.”
“I appreciate the distinct lack of hexgoons on this post.”
“The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy’s cringe and Wendy’s responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024”
“at 4am I came across someone violently hacking away at a grassy area on my block with a shovel. He was stealing the grass, scooping up the contents into grocery bags. As he saw me he scurried away with his bags of grass. The area is now a hole of dirt.”
“:officer-down:”
“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of Balenciaga”
"Remembering today a trip to NYC my family made in 2000-ish and I saw one of the doormen of a building sitting outside reading an Everquest Ruins Of Kunark strategy guide. "
“Marx failed to consider that when it isn’t observed, surplus value acts as a wave - but when it is observed, it acts as a particle.”
“The sharp rise in Violent/Aggressive Discourse in the Extreme Left is an artifact of the inclusion of Hexbear.net. The amount of history that can be collected from Hexbear right now is minimal”
“We fight the woke in the posts. We fight the woke in the comments. We fight the woke in the users, we will never ever surrender to the woke mob. Hexbear.net is where woke goes to die.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always get the interior ministry post.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never go to a second location.”
“ok yeah fine I was on the extreme side of the line but I stand by the fact that these are intended as waifus and that consumption of anime girls turned nation state is, if nothing else, cringe.”
“Wanna know a secret? Everyone on this site is a liberal, except for you. ;)”
“WARNING: Some viewers may find this content to be cringe. Viewer discretion is advised.”
“As one of the very few people on this site who genuinely roots for Biden, it is my belief that Biden is going to keep failing upwards and despite every attempt to stifle it, will accidentally turn America into a re-vitalized, progressive nation with strong social welfare. (This may sound absurd, but I have a whole set of reasonings and indicators supporting this that are too long to elaborate here)”
“Defederation should only be considered as a last resort, however we made the decision to preemptively defederate from Hexbear.”
“Police arrested a Ukrainian national and charged him with drunk driving after he had crashed his car into a lightpole. The man had no ID on him but when searching the car the police found a Ukrainian driver’s license issued to Boris Johnson, featuring a photo of the disgraced British leader and an expiration date in the year 3000.”
“UFO people, who are right down there with bicyclers and vegans in the groups that the fancy people really enjoy dumping on, were right and that the fancy people were wrong.”
“If you side with Maoist, Dengist, Xiist China and not with the Leninist, Stalinist Soviet Union or Hoxhaist Albania, it is clear to everyone you are a fucking enemy of the people who will be shot. Let me remind you that THIS IS CLASS WAR!?”
“Struggle session planned for Thursday: Beans”
“Hexbear.net is beyond political. Hexbear.net is a cultural, paradigm shift. Hexbear.net is the end times. Hexbear.net is the apocalypse. Hexbear.net is the universe collapsing in on itself and then erupting into a new big bang, spewing out different laws of physics, different laws of POSTING. And I’ll tell you what: it’s been one of the pleasures of my life posting alongside you sexy motherfuckers.”
“My uncle works at Hexbear and he told me you can find Mew under the ‘PPB’ link at the bottom of the page”
“seemingly i have a much lower level of self restraint + dignity”
“officially approved by will menaker”
“mr trump, your fired sir”
“It’s really incredible how many savage assholes there are on hexbear.net. My theory is they’re bots designed to encourage engagement by enraging us. It’s pretty effective.”
Part 9
“One of the researchers revived two of the worms at the institute by simply rehydrating them with water, before taking around 100 worms to labs in Germany for further analysis, transporting them in her pocket. Later, asking her boyfriend if he would still love her if she was “100 ancient Siberian worms in a lab coat”.”
"Up yours, woke moralists. We’ll see who cancels who
"
“The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never…”
“Sorry, but the Soviet Union was still a oligarchic terror state, regardless of its involvement in liberating concentration camps.”
“My guesstimation is that [Hexbear.net] is a disinformation machine based on useful idiots.”
“Chapo Traphouse listeners aren’t tankies. Sure, Lemmygrad users are. But we’re fans of Bernie Sanders and not fans of Lenin, Stalin, Mao, etc.”
“I was recently in Albania. Go to Albania, you despicable neocommunist moralizers, and see if you dare to continue your propagandizing and self-aggrandizement!”
“The posting-to-praxis pipeline”
"Most people on lemmy.world are left-leaning and then everyone from hexbear.net goes over to there, calls them “libs” and shits on them. “Suck off a lib and a fascist comes?” good stuff from a Hexbear admin. "
“As if the pronouns excuse the rest of hexbear.net’s behavior. I see you deleted some of your hexbear comments from yesterday. Right on time to come here pretending to play nice.”
“admins on lemmy.world just seem like they wanna have the final say on things and felt threatened by the potential influence of a larger instance like hexbear.net”
“#
Is that a denguin lol, nice.”
“Make an account on the great socialist lemmy instance comrad”
“how do you expect anyone to connect “booba waifu” to Katherine Oppenheimer?”
"Bold statements for someone who didn’t read a single linked source. "
“Why are you bringing up some random German dude? No one cares.”
“Hexbear.net they have their own fork of Lemmy’s code, so they have the technical expertise, and they hate anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their color of fascism.”
“Thing is, these terrorists aren’t trying to destroy the fediverse, they are trying to retaliate specifically against lemmy.world”
“I’m literally the most left person I personally know by a wide margin, and I got called a reactionary”
“I’m truly impressed at how incomprehensible this post is to me. “Treat”, “struggle”, “hog” and “chud” all presumably mean something particular to you.”
"
🔺 This place is a RussianChinese bot farm disinformation campaign 69k filled with CCP shills and Russian trolls. 🔻 I doubt there are any real human posters here. Edit1: Wow, so many updoots! Edit2: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"
“Those just sound like some guys the state department wants to give loot crates to tbh”
“Hello I am baby. I am the admin of site now.”
"the maoist uprising against the landlords was the largest and most comprehensive proletarian revolution in history, and led to almost totally-equal redistribution of land among the peasantry
"
“One must imagine Sisyphus jokerfied”
"They say that Hexbear only has enough keyboards for half of its posters, so they send people into threads in pairs, and when the first poster is banned, the second picks up his keyboard and continues posting
"
“TrueAnon Rule: If someone with a gun enters your car, they’re gonna kill you.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never go into the sewers, unless you’re a sewer guy.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never trust a South American with a German name.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never release political prisoners to placate protestors.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never give up your nukes.”
“TrueAnon Rule: If you know a guy who’s really into runes, don’t hang out with the rune guy.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always get it in writing.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never talk to cops without a lawyer.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Don’t talk to journalists.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never move anywhere for a religion.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never let the opposition delay elections.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Always pay your mercenaries.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never get on a boat.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Never move to the compound.”
“TrueAnon Rule: Be normal.”
"It amazes me that people don’t realize that defending democracy doesn’t end with this battle. If you give up on Ukraine, then next comes Taiwan, South Korea, Poland.
This. Is. An. Investment. In. Democracy"
“Yes, yes, I’m a brainwashed liberal.”
“Yeah, Hexbear is a massive lawsuit ready to happen. Far too many Government Cybersecurity bots scanning that instance. I’d rather not have black helicopters hovering above my house due to that site.”
“I know there’s a hexbear community… Chapostrapon… Don’t fuck with the strap life. Don’t act like it’s just a sex thing. I know some of you may be a part of that real lifestyle and whatever do your thing… But for the people acting like it’s nothing, like it’s just some phrase… That lifestyles real…”
“Runtime: 02
:00”
“So you want to murder people you disagree with? You might be happier in Hexbear.net”
“Donald Trump for 2020 Nobel Peace Prize”
“Listen here Jack!”
“I have a PhD in nuclear physics from a top 10 science guy university in the world, and I don’t believe nuclear armageddon is a problem. And I’m also not interested in discussing it (just so that no one comes with bs talking points, I’ve seen enough). I’m just saying this so that you don’t stumble on your own delusional bubble too much.”
“Click Here to apply for your AntiFa Credit Card”
“Here in the US, the people rule. Since socialist policies are in the interest of the people, they will want to vote for politicians who support socialist policies
”
“It’s the worst game they have ever played. Tonight, millions will die.”
“brigading is when you post in a thread from a different instance that’s on your front page”
“From what I can tell, which so far is decidedly little, everyone is calling everyone tankies.”
"no more half measures walter
"
“There’s always money in the banana stand.”
“Hexbear.net seems to be the biggest hive of bastards I’ve encountered on all of the federated instances.”
““fuck you I’m gonna stack rocks anyway” as if rock-stacking was their livelyhood.”
“Hexbear.net entire point in federating was to fuck shit up.”
“Xinjiang is a place.”
"Yeeeh I fucking hate tankies… they’re almost always competent trolls who know how to be annoying. "
“If you’re transgender or non-binary and are looking to connect with others over North Korea apologia, there’s not a better place on the web to be.”
“The most annoying people around the whole Fediverse are Hexbear.”
“/c/hentai is the best comm”
“Day of attempting to will myself into becoming a lizard”
“justice league (the cartoon show) having cops deciding to shoot & fire an RPG??? at a random liquid-man literally asking for help who just got hit by a car is a hyperreal depiction of modern cops”
“i’m not mincing words here: i’m reporting every one of these comments and emailing hexbear”
“Hexbear.net is a site the wannabe communists and trolls”
“Hexbear is like the terminally online left that makes me ashamed to share leftist sensibilities.”
“Tankies seep out from lemmygrad.ml and hexbear.net and infect poor innocent instances who do not want to be constantly annoyed by them!”
“Hexbear.net is a plague on lemmy, liberals like me can’t wait for the day of instance-level blocking, but honestly I expect you will end up defederated from most major instances.”
“Do you have any arguments besides calling me a lib? You’ve done this like 15 times.”
“Preventing electrical infetterence since 2020”
“:im-vegan:”
“Twenty-thousand years of this, seven more to go!”
“In honor of the revolution, it’s half off at the Gap!”
“There it is, again, that funny feeling…”
“9/11 was an accident, the second plane was just the other pilot trying to see what happened.”
"Hexbear should do a Roblox 2028 projections thing but for Hexbear "
“Zelensky sent a deranged assassin to my home in the form of an aggressive robin that attacks my living room windows, no doubt he wants to silence my posts pointing out how Ukraine loves nazis. I will not stop.”
“Are veterans babies that can’t wipe their own asses or are they like unborn fetuses? Asking as a republican that wants to be consistent in my stance on this issue in line with my stances on WIC and abortion.”
“Sex as a pantomime of class structure and is bourgeois hedonism. With a change in worker relations to procreation no one will have to work out their frustrations with hierarchy in a sexual manner and such decadency will wither away along with the state.”
“When I vocally stim, people stare at me, but when an NT vocally stims, it’s calling singing smfh”
“i’m white yes. tar and feather me”
“I am not making any statements about “their level of English comprehension” just bc you and people on twitter don’t do crosswords and read a lot of literature / the new yorker does not mean that that”
“like dawg i don’t know if Deng was a revisionist or not I’m 22 i never met the guy”
“Hexbear is also a website with a single megathread, but in typical liberal extravagance, they have two of them.”
“The Hogwarts drama really become the holodomor denial for the toothpaste club.”
Part 10
“I have thousands of followers. They say I’m blacksuppositoried and debased.”
“I hate V*ush so much the physical revulsion i feel when i hear the slimy whisper that he calls a voice is so bad that it instantly turns me into a 1970s era political lesbian that advocates for the immediate castration of all men”
“In response, I cast Force of Will, exiling Storm Crow.”
“It’s somewhere in the world.”
“AI Joe Biden was the first option to show up , apparently you have to get him to the “sweetheart” or “lover” stage before you rizz him up, because I came straight out flirting with him and he called me inappropriate, mentioned his wife and presidential duties and blocked me, then the site told me I had to sign up to be unblocked”
“I’m literally the most censored poster on this website. And it hurts. Prayed for this exact thing to NOT happen last night. Texted my ex-wife and she assured me another of my posts wouldn’t be removed.”
“she drew her fursona hitting me (human) (i’m not a furry) (nothing against them) (i love all genders) with a car (honda civic) and sent it to me from a burner account on toyhouse.”
“Pegged In The Butt By My Cracked Video Game Provider by Chuck Tingle”
“I think you could probably train a sheep to vote”
“My friends stopped talking to me because during my last birthday party I called them all mercantile class traitors.”
“America deserved 9/11”
“Why would a grown man whose shirt says “Genius at Work” spend all of his time posting lib shit?”
“Now where could my pipe be?”
“That’s Numberwang!”
“The lowest of the low.”
“The world’s largest social media platform.”
“This is a nut-free classroom.”
“YOU SHOULD NOT MODERATE A SITE UNTIL YOU CAN BUY YOUR OWN BOOZE AND WEED AND DROWN YOURSELF IN THEM.”
“Home of the Silver Legion”
“Lee Harvey Oswald was actually going for John Forbes Kerry, there was just a mix-up at the CIA.”
“in this house we believe that matt yglesias is suggesting something when he says he wants to make 1 billion americans”
“Your website is like bait, we were drawn to it like art thief to a van Druys. You thought you were in the clear? Though luck, kid. You thought you were so vigilant. But in reality, you were a poster who was so blind.”
“Anti-Horny Action”
“The only site with an Anacho-Stalinist Mod Cabal”
“When I was like in 5th grade, I was watching the nightly back to back episodes of the Simpsons. But then suddenly it just cuts to Obama walking down the aisle in his house. This asshole ruined my episode. And by the time it went back to the show, it was over and the credits were rolling and the night time adult shows were airing.”
“Based on your vernacular, it sounds like you’re a hexbear.net user washed up on our shores and circumventing the defederation, shilling for Russia.”
“No way most of the population is going to go on here with tankie communist admins banning people left and right”
“The very concept of liking songs based on their length is itself highly suspect unless you are some sort of temporal aesthetician.”
“I searched for the shizo abe chinese student reenactment and found hexbear.net on google.”
“I’d like to say that I’m a communist. Specifically an anarchist, and more specifically than that a soulist.”
“Now I see it’s fashionable to call this ethnic cleansing, but that only makes sense if you’re thinking like a settler.”
“Tankies are the agents of change, coming to plow up liberal’s fields of strange fruit.”
“:sicko-hexbear:”
“:spongebob-party:”
“:vote:”
“Still in line to vote in the 2016 election”
“hexbear.net, wrecker of lemmy peace and strangler of justice, can never evade the blame for having connived at and fostered tankie’s hideous war crimes that ruthlessly killed the liberal dream of lemmy.”
“lemmy.world says hexbear.net is becoming “the squad” of lemmy after the users called the us president “Genocide Joe””
“Committed liberal lefty as far back as McGovern (look it up, kids). Reader of books. Do not get between me and my morning coffee and NYT. Typo queen.”
“Eat the real estate agent an poop in their shoes”
“Tommy needy drinky.”
“Home of the cromulent fuckcrustable.”
"From the river to the sea
"
"
Fullmetal Alchemist.
"“Aberdeen is the oil capital of Europe, very rich…” Trump says, at which point, the judge interjects: “Irrelevant!”
Trump adds softly, “It is.”"
“i been hacked.
all my posts gone. this just deleted please help me”
“my first lemmy experience was getting insulted on hexbear”
“Hear that? Im a goatfucker, a turkeyfucker, and chickenfucker all because I ate a 3 meat sandwich.”
“Wait, is there a way for our comments to be turned into taglines?”
“Hexbear proves horseshoe theory correct, its leftist storefront and why fuck is my instance federated with these pieces of shit?”
“I don’t think people who jack it to lion king rule 34 porn should be arrested.”
“it is extremely silly to believe a toddler is doing exaggerated, dramatic response to smoke exposure, and it is silly for a smoker to be offended by the response of a small child, especially so offended that they’re posting about it.”
“Hamas fighter with the skibidi rizz blows up sussy gyat ohio style”
“The shitposters of hexbear who just came here to have flamewars because the mods of hexbear apparently don’t control anything anymore”
“hexbear is an online marxist transgender cult”
“I’m not sure why you would assume I’m American. I mean, you happen to be right in this case, but I’m still not sure why you’d assume that.”
“The fuck that you hexbears don’t even realize how significant fedjacketing is and why we don’t do it, just says everything one needs to know”
“Once the food is ruined I’ll probably yell some anti colonial slogan that’s along the lines of “none of you deserve to live” before making a quick exit and hopefully not getting arrested.”
“hexbear can be a bit ridiculous (honestly that place confuses me, I see both the absolute based and most cringe posts coming out of hexbear users)”
"
"
“I mostly just wear a shirt with Pepe Le Pew on it unless it’s a special occasion.”
"
Forget touching grass. This guy needs to make sweet love to the grass, marry the grass, and have little grass babies with the grass 
"
“420th Tankie Brigade, Order of Kutuzov 2nd class, Hexbear Division, 69th Rifle Corps, 3rd Shock Army, 1st Belorussian Posting Front.”
“What are the pronouns this ballon is going to go by? Welcome to the #Budlight zone”
“Dear American Leftists, please vote for democrats this coming year. If Trump is re-elected, it’s game over. I wish i could tell you that a vote for democrats would get you what you really want, but America isn’t even close. All I can offer is some temporary refuge from plunging into a dictatorship.”
Yeah I read theory.
I love this website
commenting to remember all the trueanon rules
so many of these are just being horny