• asteriskeverything@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    It really sucks you feel that way just existing. I mean that genuinely, and I think you really are touching on something here.

    Because women have a similar problem where they are viewed as sexual conquests or objects to be won- just for existing. So you’re a little sensitive about noticing if someone sees you as a bad person, and I might be more sensitive on if someone sees me as an object not a person. It really is two sides of the same coin, and we all have more in common with eachother than we have differences.

    I am am old lady though and I assure you that your insecurities about women feeling unsafe around you is more about your awareness and not necessarily reality. Frankly harassment and all that crap is just background noise for women IRL anyway so a chill dude who I have a normal interaction with isn’t gonna register on my radar regardless of how he looks. I pay way more attention to body language and tone. Thanks for being a good friend to women.

    Anyway this all got way off topic and what I originally meant was I just am not surprised men who are PoS in other aspects are into teens and are horrible there too.

    • onslaught545@lemmy.zipBanned
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      7 days ago

      I appreciate your words. It really does suck to feel like the enemy just to exist as a white male despite wanting to literally fight those who would deny women their rights.

      But I’m 6’3 and 200lb lean, so I know I’m in the running for “men you should be concerned about” even though literally no woman on earth needs to fear me. I’ve never even asked my wife for a hand job in the 10 years so I’ve known her.

      • Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 days ago

        1: You don’t need to give that many details about your private life.

        2: The point is that it’s not about you. Your height and shape don’t matter that much. There are enough “bad apples” among men that women simply must presume anyone they don’t know is a potential threat. From tiny twigs to tall bears.

        It sucks to be perceived as a potential threat when you know for a fact that you are not a threat to anyone, but there are enough threats out there that it is perfectly justified to be seen that way.

        I don’t know if it’s the autism in me or what, but any time I noticed someone was threatened by my presence, my first instinct was just to feel sorry for them - not for myself. And then I try to go away or give them distance or something else to give them peace of mind. What I see in comments like yours and many others around the internet is that a lot of men react the other way around: being annoyed to be perceived unfairly even though that is nothing compared to the other person who is potentially even fearing for their life.

        But anyway, at the end of the day the problem is still the same: if the world was safer for women, it would also be better for the men who don’t want to be seen as enemy.