Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?

  • richieadlerEnglish
    42·
    11 months ago

    And she should ignore the obnoxious way he chooses to do it? What other things you propose sje should ignore?

      • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
        153·
        11 months ago

        Because she’s not a dog, and he doesn’t get to issue commands to her.

        Even if it was “Hey, can I show you something?” that would be a bit better - it’s asking for her attention and presence rather than demanding it.

          • bleistift2@feddit.deEnglish
            51·
            11 months ago

            People have a tendency to “want to be nice”. If it’s not too demanding, we usually follow requests. You may be different (I say this without judgement), but most people don’t like to not follow request. Hence the “come here” feels like an order, even though, on the surface it isn’t.

            • liv@kbin.social
              61·
              11 months ago

              On the surface it is an order. He’s using imperative sentence construction with no “please can you” and no question mark.

              This is exactly how commands/orders are expressed in English.

              “Do this” “Come here” " Go there" “Sit Down” “Give me 20 press ups”.

        • Saraphim@lemmy.worldOP
          4·
          11 months ago

          I’ve actually been completely transparent and honest. He and I have talked about it many times. I guess I’m here to hear other perspectives so that maybe I can verbalize the situation better in a way he can understand. He doesn’t know why he does it and I have a hard time been putting into words why it’s so bothersome to me. And if you don’t have a cohesive point, do you really have a point? And with no point there is theoretically no problem.