I’m currently looking for a second job so this sounds great.

I was losing my mind trying to figure that out. Thank you! I’ve been at work all day, so there was no way I read it in the past four hours.

You’ve gotten upbears but I wanted to specifically say this was a good one. I chuckled.

No shit! Between food and rent I can barely make it.

Surely they signed an extremist non-compete.

That would make you a cop, comrade.

“Confusion, nausea, and vomiting are symptoms. Severe cases can cause seizures, coma, and death.”

It waters down the blood, diluting electrolytes. It’s a LOT of water. But it’s something that is definitely possible.

Well that seems… not ideal.

To explain, the person testing you will check for temperature and appearance. If it’s too clear they may require another sample.

I went through a state-run program called drug court (you can have a little doxxing, as a treat. Afaik not many states have this program) and if you pissed too clear they’d make you give another sample. They didn’t observe us directly, so maybe that’s why. Someone just stood outside the bathroom and listened.

Refusal to give a new sample would result in a fail.

For the record I was 100% sober whilst going through this program and it’s probably the best thing that happened to me. I chose not to be a CI and it got me (relatively) cheap outpatient rehab. 13+ hours a week of therapy and real consequences to my actions. ended a decade-long opiate addiction. So I never cheated on their tests, just conveying my experience.

I did spend my teenage years doing through multiple, less punitive, programs, which is where I draw this experience from.

Didn’t read all the replies but here is how I used to do it.

Drink a lot of water the night before and day of. Don’t get water poisoning but get real close. You want as much of your piss to be water as possible.

Take a couple B12 vitamins a couple hours before the test. They will make you piss yellow even if it’s all water.

That said, you might still be fucked. I’ve used this method to pass a test in under 24 hours but YMMV. My metabolism is ridiculous.

Good luck, comrade.

Apparently he had his gun drawn so he could use the attached flashlight. I’m not a gun person but doesn’t that mean the safety wasn’t engaged? Why would you disengage the safety if you’re just using the flashlight? Anyway that wall was a terrorist.

Woo! High score! We’re number one!

Excuse me while I quietly cry in the corner.

At one point in my life I was doing a lot of intravenous oxycodone et al. I loved pushing my limits and was very good at it, apparently. At one point, and this wouldn’t be the last time but was probably the first, I put about 130mg of oxycodone into one needle. I remember getting tunnel vision and a rushing sound in my ears. I woke up several hours later. A few months later I decided to look into those symptoms. Basically early onset overdose. Those were interesting times for me.

Only 787 of them? These days it seems like they’re all falling apart.

I’m a little ashamed I did chuckle at ‘point of assail.’ The humor is bad but that’s some decent wordplay.

While no one really wants to hear this, and I preface this with I still struggle sometimes, but lots of therapy and venlafaxine (SNRI) is what did it for me. The medication got the endless, racing, intrusive thoughts and memories to slow down so I could sleep. Then the therapy did the rest. I’m off the meds now and just smoke a lot of weed, and drink a couple times a week still. Not perfect, but better. The pills made it hard for me to get off, so I opted to manage it myself once I’d had things under control for about a year.

Bump!

Much love comrade!

Just don’t let it take you my friend. I’m here if you ever need an ear.

Lies and slander!