I don’t mean to unnecessarily gender this discussion. Gender here doesn’t matter. But I’m going to use gendered words as they fit the context. I want everyone’s opinion.

My dad died from bronchial cancer two days before my 12th birthday. I had to learn how to be a ‘man’ from my ill mother.

What I want to know is, if you had to import some wisdom to preteen me, about the fundamentals of life, what would it be?

I’ve barely learned to shave (and prefer a beard anyway). What can you teach me Hexbear?

I’m 32 by the way. I’m just curious.

  • star_wraith [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    8 months ago

    Hey, I’m an actual dad. I can help.

    This falls under more “practical” advice: really and try and limit your physical possessions as much as you can. There’s obviously some good ethical reasons for this, but mean this just from a quality of life standpoint. I made the mistake of spending a lot of my teens and twenties accumulating “stuff”. And you gotta drag that stuff with you everywhere you go. Your living space gets crowded fast and you’ll find you don’t like being home even though that’s supposed to be your refuge from the world. And a related piece of advice - whether this is for your room at your parents house or when you are on your own… try to make your living space as pleasant as possible. A place where you want to be and you feel like yourself and relaxed in. That’s something we all need.

    • isame [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      2·
      7 months ago

      Another great point. My mom and I had a lot of financial problems growing up and got evicted or had to move quickly a couple times. We lost all our non essentials so many times I’ve learned not to have possessions. My prized asset is my gaming rig, and I can easily store it with a friend. My second prize is my collection of books. It’s not valuable, but I have everything written by David and Leigh Eddings, I believe, and I have Ink and Vellum by Hal Duncan, and a nice riffle paged copy of Maia by Richard Adams. Along with a few Green brothers books, one of which is signed.

      That’s it. Everything else actually needed can be packed in a backpack. I can leave my bed and TV behind, etc.

      I’m also very clean. I thought I was a slob, because I was growing up. But turned out I’d just been in serial monogamous relationships since high school and always livrd with my partners, and they were messy, and I hate cleaning up after other people. Turns out I’m pretty damn neat lol. My sink could use a scrubbing and I haven’t cleaned my shower in the 4 months I’ve lived in this apsrtment. But my room is never messy and laundry is done promptly when needed. When I have a date over I always have to clean up after them the day after.

      Thank you for your input, comrade!

  • RNAi [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    8 months ago

    • @[email protected] “Never touch triathlon bikes cuz they are soaked in piss”

    • Don’t go inside the silos

    • Work hard, but make time for your family.

    • kermit-pain “Clean your room”

    Always try to maintain a clean and ordered place either workplace or living space. Wash the dishes as soon as possible, wash your clothes ASAP; if you have nothing to do, broom the floor anyways. Use an scheduler notebook or whatever of the things you gotta do. This I learned by difference from my dad, instead of by example.