CHICAGO—Eradicating any sense of respectability and gentlemanliness he thought he possessed during the long winter months, local man Brendan Watt was reminded Thursday by the return of more revealing spring attire that he is nothing more than a vulgar, hormonal ogre who has to actively keep his thoughts and gaze in check whenever he goes out in public, the disheartened 33-year-old confirmed to reporters. “God,” Watt reportedly said to himself while walking to work amid a variety of women wearing skirts and light strapless garments, as he arrived at the annual realization that he is, despite his best hopes, a chemically driven beast who must mentally tell himself he doesn’t need to take another glance at women who pass by in tank tops and yoga pants. “And there’s still five more months of this, for Christ’s sake.” At press time, Watt had just caught himself taking a second look at a girl who—Jesus—was a good 15 years younger than him, and was sadly accepting that this is just who he is.
if male horny derangement syndrome weren’t hormonally driven then post-nut clarity wouldn’t exist
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i’m not saying testosterone is the causative agent for all cis male malfeasance but I am saying it is The Horny Hormone and what makes dudes look at idk a fucking tree and be like “you know what… 😳” yes it’s like patriarchal shit culture that translates that into “i can do whatever I want with women’s bodies” or whatever and influences what people ultimately do with that feeling, but that feeling (the big horny) itself is absolutely biologically driven