I’m in my early thirties and adamantly childfree. I’m lucky enough to be in a long-term relationship with someone who brought up her desire to be childfree on more or less our first date. But I am not having too much luck with my friends from childhood and university - they all seem to be wanting kids, and learning of their pregnancies leaves me with a feeling of sadness. I don’t hate kids and think no one should have them, and I am happy for them if they truly wanted this, but I also know what them having kids will mean - we are essentially putting our friendship on hiatus, and I still don’t know whether waiting 10 years for the kids to be a bit more independent and not requiring as much attention will mean I suddenly have friends again, but somehow I very much doubt it. And I also don’t want 10 years without other friends than my girlfriend. She is in very much the same situation, and while we are good at making the best out of not having kids and stressing about having them, we both would want to be able to hang out with good friends once in a while, both common between us, but also some that are exclusive to each of us.

My assumption is that this is quite common - so I am hoping someone would like to share some success stories in turning this situation around. :)

    • richieadler
      22·
      9 months ago

      Why do you suggest “becoming an uncle”, then? That way only leads to misery.

      • themelm@sh.itjust.works
        5·
        9 months ago

        Some cultures use uncle/aunt pretty freely for any older family friend who was around a lot. I remember my mom was “auntie” to lots of kids when I was younger but there was no obligation or anything its just a term of endearment to a close older woman.

        • richieadler
          1·
          9 months ago

          Some cultures use uncle/aunt pretty freely for any older family friend who was around a lot.

          That must be it. Mine is not one of those. I had plenty of real uncles and adding supernumerary ones would have been seen as weird.

      • willya@lemmyf.ukEnglish
        22·
        9 months ago

        Well yeah for someone who literally hates kids and wants to cut off their friends because of it. It wasn’t a suggestion. It was what another good friend would naturally do/become to another good friend. It doesn’t come with anything that you need to do. There’s no responsibilities. You’d just be around so often that’s how the kids would begin to look at you.

        • richieadler
          26·
          9 months ago

          It was what another good friend would naturally do/become to another good friend.

          So childfree people are by default not good friends?

          You’d just be around so often that’s how the kids would begin to look at you.

          That’s on them. Disabusing them of the notion can be necessary.