I was initially going to call my hypothetical gay bar “The Man Hole” but I guess that’s already a thing. Would “The Cocktagon” be too direct? What would you pick?
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I saw graffiti of an octopus but all its arms were cocks and it was labeled COCKTOPUS so probably that
Thjere is a relevant Oglaf about this (Oglaf is extremely nsfw)
Oglaf probably has a relevant comic for everything. The xkcd of fetishes
The Hexbar
Bottoms Up
it’s this one
Girl Dinner, and the logo is an opossum eating out of a trash can.
idc if scaring away anybody who isn’t my specific brand of disaster lesbian is a sound business idea, this just sounds too good to not do it.
The trash opossum is important. Need a way to keep the cishet ladies away.
Good Boys and it’s for blind gay men who can bring their guidedogs in
it’d lure me in ngl
I’d make it caveman themed and call it Homo Erectus
Deadass a great idea.
The Cocktagon sounds more like a gay MMA gym.
The Pound
pup gear or a fursuit mandatory
or you get given a collar on entry, and maybe a leash
i’m putting too much thought into this
if you donate £10,000 into my bank account, i pinky swear that i will open this in a disadvantaged neighbourhood (where i live) and not just spend it on enough mdma to kill a small village
Nobody said Trap House yet?
an’ if you ain’t a bro
GET UP OUT MY TRAP HOOOOOOOOOOUSE
It’d be a gay bar the size of a warehouse called “Sam’s Chub” instead of “Sam’s Club” and you can carry out an oversized shopping cart of twinks.
The bar would be called “No Straights” and it would enforce that as a policy
Might be kinda tough to enforce though. Would you force people to have gay sex at gun point? I probably would. ¯\(ツ)/¯
Like metal detectors I have created straight detectors and if a straight passes through alarms will blare and they’ll be thrown back out onto the street and if they come back the rooftop snipers will shoot them
The Hot House
And it’d be plant and greenhouse themed.
6pm-3am It’d be a shitty rave-nightclub at night with lots of blacklights and tall palms, trees, flowers and tropical plants that would glow under the blacklights (only aimed at the plants bc those things can burn your skin with long exposure). Lots of living walls in high-up spots (so the drunks and dancers don’t eat them or whatever). LGBTs only, straights get fed to the plants.
8am-2pm In the day time it’d be a pleasant sunday brunch spot (except every day would be Sunday) with lots of sunlight streaming in through the ceiling skylights and lots of pretty plants. We’d have tons of fun activities for the LGBTs who don’t like to drink and dance. LGBT only, straights get fed to the plants.
We would use it as a front to do crime. Lots of crime. So much fucking crime. Probably kidnap Commissioner Gordon while I’m at it.
It’s closed now, but: https://www.accessto.ca/home/2015/04/29/the-hot-house-restaurant-bar
Brunch and bar, with a greenhouse…
It looks like a Quiznos
Formerly Chuck’s
The “Call Me Ishmael” (I am reading Moby Dick, which is not about moby’s dick but may turn out to be about dicks idk)
Jar Jar Twinks.
