Hi folks, I thought I’d create some content and share some experience and learning around any concerns I had about being childfree in my first 10 years after my tubal. I hope this can help those that are at this stage now.
I will say that 35 years after my tubal, I realized in retrospect, somewhere during that time, that I knew in my teens I didn’t want kids. I did go through a period, soon after my tubal at 24, of about 10 years where a lot of my friends tried to pressure me into either spending a ton of time with their kids or even adopt, where I wondered if I really wanted kids cuz I liked babies under 6 months of age. It wasn’t until I got close to someone and her newborn, where I spent plenty of time with her kid over the next 3 years and she was TOTALLY accepting of my decision and NEVER pushed an agenda. I finally realized I truly lost interest in the kid after about 6 months of age and knew I wasn’t interested, not because I was pushing back against acquaintances who were pushing their own agenda in opposition to mine, but because I JUST LOST INTEREST. It took a good, secure in their parenthood, friend to let me understand there was zero interest on my part.
As it turns out what I like about babies was the oxytocin hit from carrying them around, which I learned I could get from cats and small dogs, of which I have 2 now, and they stay small forever instead of just 6 months!
Nah dude. If I had to be pregnant and have to handle a kid I’d resent them. I would understand that the chemicals that cause parents to have to care about their kids are just that, chemicals. They aren’t some magical feeling that comes out of nowhere. It’s an evolutionary trait to continue a species. I do not accept my role as simply biological. I refuse to be just another person doing something because of chemicals and biology.
“I refuse to be just another person doing something because of chemicals and biology.”
Then I’ve got some bad new for you. Everything you do is because of chemicals and biology. You felt the need to post this dumbass comment because of chemicals and biology. Everything that you have ever done and ever will do are because of chemicals in your brain telling you to do things. You will never outsmart these chemicals because you are these chemicals.
For all intents and purposes, they are magical feelings that come out of nowhere and make you feel happy and patient and full of love for your child.
Something which you clearly don’t understand at all, which only serves to further prove my original point, so I guess thank you?
Can you explain briefly what’s your problem with people who doesn’t want kids?