I’ve read the Bible cover to cover, which is more than can be said about 90% of Christians. Reading it is what led me away from Christianity to begin with, and I have no interest of re-reading that horrible piece of garbage ever again. Kindly make your point without requiring us to do homework.
200 foreskins. It’s in the spoiler. Saul said to David, “Get me 100 foreskins if you wanna bang my daughter.”
David was like shit, I gotta impress dad and god. I’ll kill double the amount of living breathing people just so I can cum in a lady I’m horny for.
Nevermind that Saul was motivated by fear that David was becoming more popular by winning battles. Saul gave the task because he hopped hoped David would die or fail. The way this is spun in Sunday school is that David was honoring god by showing he could overcome difficult tasks. David was honoring god by killing 200 people and slicing up some peepee.
Now take a bite of turkey and stare your uncle directly in the eye, asking through a mouth full of food, “You circumcised?”
If you’re gonna bring it up, at least quote the damn verse. Not a lot of us have the Bible memorized.
Going on this journey yourself is part of the magic. Encourage your relatives to do the same.
spoiler
If someone at the table actually knows the verse ask them if they would collect 200 foreskins if Trump asked them to.
I’ve read the Bible cover to cover, which is more than can be said about 90% of Christians. Reading it is what led me away from Christianity to begin with, and I have no interest of re-reading that horrible piece of garbage ever again. Kindly make your point without requiring us to do homework.
200 foreskins. It’s in the spoiler. Saul said to David, “Get me 100 foreskins if you wanna bang my daughter.”
David was like shit, I gotta impress dad and god. I’ll kill double the amount of living breathing people just so I can cum in a lady I’m horny for.
Nevermind that Saul was motivated by fear that David was becoming more popular by winning battles. Saul gave the task because he
hoppedhoped David would die or fail. The way this is spun in Sunday school is that David was honoring god by showing he could overcome difficult tasks. David was honoring god by killing 200 people and slicing up some peepee.Now take a bite of turkey and stare your uncle directly in the eye, asking through a mouth full of food, “You circumcised?”
Thank you. In the end, your take on it was way more entertaining than looking up the actual verse would have been for anyone.
Jessie, we have to briss.