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- cross-posted to:
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Time for the poop knife
A complimentary poop knife and ruler should be provided.
*poop knife and poop ruler
The poop knife stays on reddit. Please.
The poop knife transcends reddit, please
They probably holding it in. Lemmy people don’t shit, duh!?.
But only for 3 days
Can’t have both your fancy app and your fancy knife
I first learned of the poop knife on Metafilter.
I learned about it from my father… :'(
Need one of those tools for measuring spaghetti portions attached
That thing only works for standard length tho
Periodically move it sideways. One oversized poop becomes two standard poops. Pooplication.
Gotta plan accordingly, or carry a poop knife.
The real inconvenience is having to convert the olde world measurements to modern ones anyone would understand.
Fortunately toilets tend to stay attached to a specific region, so it’s possible to know which unit system the best majority of people using it will be most familiar with.
While americans don’t measure in centimeters, we do understand grams. Weigh the damn poops.
The United States, Liberia, and Myanmar all high five one another and beg to differ. It’s an exclusive club
The arbitrary capitalisation of “Poops” and “Time” bothers me immensely.
But not Bigger?
The first letter if Bigger. That computes.
Sir. Sir. Sir! Your poop is too big. Please take it with you. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Just hang a poop knife. Problem solved.
When ya forget the tape measure outside of the bathroom 😔
Whoever is making those poops, I feel so sorry for your tattered asshole.
That’s bigger than a Coke can.
Sure, sure. But they’ve probably been doing it for a while now.
I feel bad for the person who’s come to expect them and isn’t going to get their XXL turds today.
They are going to be very disappointed when they read that sign
Time to squeeze them sphincter muscles to extrude a 4 inch long, 2.25 in diameter turd.
Ah, the Play-doh fun factory technique.
That is way less volume. Acceptable.
Rinse & repeat
Goddammit, this joke’s got layers
Here in Australia no one has “poop knives”. American plumbing is a sad joke. Most Aussies don’t even own a plunger.
I poop in metric so this doesn’t apply to me.
I live in Japan and you can flush a pair of work boots down these toilets.
I poop in Courics
Take my upvote you magnificent bastard.
That’s the size of a standard UK beer can.
What fucking animals are using that poor toilet?
What should be the lemmy equivalent of the poop knife? A shit blade? A defecation spatula? A dung spoon?
A bean batter.
