If you’re bored. I’m drunk and will tell you stuff!
The city of Lake Oswego, where this CEO lives in Oregon, gets it’s name from… A big lake. Called Lake Oswego.
Now, Oregon has some fun and cool laws that are fun and cool, like every “navigable waterway” in Oregon, since statehood, must have public access. So for example all of the coastline in Oregon is open to the public, even though it’s windy, cold, and miserable 70% of the year. But in the summer, there’s tons of space to find quiet, beautiful peace.
Lake Oswego, however, is in CONSTANT BATTLE with the state because the city is always trying to find loopholes to privatize the lake to the super wealthy people who live on the lake. Their lawyers, no joke, argues that “the public can see the lake. That’s access”. They even have a fucking stone plaque that says “private lake, stay on the sidewalk” at the adjacent park.
It’s still in court. Right now, people can swim only in one of the parks. So it counts as access. But the people pursuing the most recent lawsuit are kayakers I think. So ongoing?
Anyhow, Lake Oswego is pretty much the richville of Portland, Oregon suburbs and wants to kick out the plebs. Their Target is fancy.
For locals, there’s a bad ass bar there I know the owners that’s fucking great with the best music in the state! Private message for that info. But fuck that city either way. The owners don’t live there.
Basically all the lakefront property is not owned by people directly, but leased under highly permissive terms from a single entity (ominously named “The Lake Corporation”) so they can apply restrictions about land use to owners to prohibit public access, and act collectively to try and prevent public access attempts. It’s basically a Union for rich people to use to collectively bargain to keep poors away from them. totally wild.
They exert undue influence over the city’s politics which is usually evident by their inherent inequity and hostility to non-members in the city… but the county they’re in (Clackamas) tends to fight them a lot. The city’s officials are usually in tight with the Lake Corp (or ARE Lake Corp) so it’s basically a corporation vs the county/state trying to keep poor people away.
The city’s dedicated police force, unsurprisingly, are very keen on the Lake Corp… so even if you (legally) access the lake, they will send a boat out to hassle you until they find a reason to move you along - usually with the lie “you had to trespass to get here. you can leave and we’ll drop it, or you can make this hard”
I used to like going to the lake theater on weekdays I had off. Usually pretty empty, can get a nice burger and a beer and see a movie.
I stopped going because I’d almost get run over by rich, blonde women, driving large luxury SUVs while texting their real housewives of lake Oswego chat every single time. Haven’t been down that way in a decade and don’t miss it.
Their lawyers, no joke, argues that “the public can see the lake. That’s access”. They even have a fucking stone plaque that says “private lake, stay on the sidewalk” at the adjacent park.
Hypothetically, if someone were writing a fictional story about a Luigi type of hero in that situation, what would be the quickest and fastest way to destroy that stone plaque?
So. As a Stone Mason …I sorta feel obliged to point out that, sorry, that is a BRASS sign.
Good news is it’s almost certainly been attached with 2 shortish pegs into the stone and some chemfix, epoxy or the like. Also a good chance there’s no pegs at all and it’s just epoxied straight to the stone…
Either way, crowbar will, hypothetically, take that right off with no issues.
As a metal worker, if I were to remove the message from this sign, I might use an 18-20v e angle grinder and flap disk grinding wheel so the brass doesn’t foul it too quickly.
Hypothetically, a cold chisel and hammer could work too, though it wouldn’t be as easy to leave a nice polished finish for marking the next message to visitors.
If you’re bored. I’m drunk and will tell you stuff!
The city of Lake Oswego, where this CEO lives in Oregon, gets it’s name from… A big lake. Called Lake Oswego.
Now, Oregon has some fun and cool laws that are fun and cool, like every “navigable waterway” in Oregon, since statehood, must have public access. So for example all of the coastline in Oregon is open to the public, even though it’s windy, cold, and miserable 70% of the year. But in the summer, there’s tons of space to find quiet, beautiful peace.
Lake Oswego, however, is in CONSTANT BATTLE with the state because the city is always trying to find loopholes to privatize the lake to the super wealthy people who live on the lake. Their lawyers, no joke, argues that “the public can see the lake. That’s access”. They even have a fucking stone plaque that says “private lake, stay on the sidewalk” at the adjacent park.
It’s still in court. Right now, people can swim only in one of the parks. So it counts as access. But the people pursuing the most recent lawsuit are kayakers I think. So ongoing?
Anyhow, Lake Oswego is pretty much the richville of Portland, Oregon suburbs and wants to kick out the plebs. Their Target is fancy.
For locals, there’s a bad ass bar there I know the owners that’s fucking great with the best music in the state! Private message for that info. But fuck that city either way. The owners don’t live there.
yes! I used to live there. it’s bonkers.
Basically all the lakefront property is not owned by people directly, but leased under highly permissive terms from a single entity (ominously named “The Lake Corporation”) so they can apply restrictions about land use to owners to prohibit public access, and act collectively to try and prevent public access attempts. It’s basically a Union for rich people to use to collectively bargain to keep poors away from them. totally wild.
They exert undue influence over the city’s politics which is usually evident by their inherent inequity and hostility to non-members in the city… but the county they’re in (Clackamas) tends to fight them a lot. The city’s officials are usually in tight with the Lake Corp (or ARE Lake Corp) so it’s basically a corporation vs the county/state trying to keep poor people away.
The city’s dedicated police force, unsurprisingly, are very keen on the Lake Corp… so even if you (legally) access the lake, they will send a boat out to hassle you until they find a reason to move you along - usually with the lie “you had to trespass to get here. you can leave and we’ll drop it, or you can make this hard”
I used to like going to the lake theater on weekdays I had off. Usually pretty empty, can get a nice burger and a beer and see a movie.
I stopped going because I’d almost get run over by rich, blonde women, driving large luxury SUVs while texting their real housewives of lake Oswego chat every single time. Haven’t been down that way in a decade and don’t miss it.
Hypothetically, if someone were writing a fictional story about a Luigi type of hero in that situation, what would be the quickest and fastest way to destroy that stone plaque?
No idea. Crow bar and toss it in the lake?
So. As a Stone Mason …I sorta feel obliged to point out that, sorry, that is a BRASS sign.
Good news is it’s almost certainly been attached with 2 shortish pegs into the stone and some chemfix, epoxy or the like. Also a good chance there’s no pegs at all and it’s just epoxied straight to the stone…
Either way, crowbar will, hypothetically, take that right off with no issues.
As a metal worker, if I were to remove the message from this sign, I might use an 18-20v e angle grinder and flap disk grinding wheel so the brass doesn’t foul it too quickly.
Hypothetically, a cold chisel and hammer could work too, though it wouldn’t be as easy to leave a nice polished finish for marking the next message to visitors.
Or a belt sander. Just sand off “Private” and “on the steps.” so it says, “Lake. Please stay”
Their punishment is to spend every winter in SUNY Oswegos freshman dorms. Let the lake take them.
Lake Oswego also used to be one of those, ahem, “exclusive” towns. Which naturally gave rise to the local nickname “Lake No Negro”.
Wow !! thanks for the story
Thank you drunk person. Very informative.