Managed to qualify for SSDI, otherwise I’d be dead!

… nearly froze to death outside last winter, -30F…

… made friends with a lot of people who later died, violently…

… got held hostage and assaulted for a week straight at one point…

Yeah I should be dead.

… probably I have PTSD or CPTSD as well now.

My dad is a QAnon/MAGA nut who manufactures ghost guns and thinks Antifa/FBI did Jan 6th, thinks Tom Hanks’ son kills, rapes and eats babies for their adrenochrome.

He’s never wrong and it’s everyone else’s fault that no one likes him.

Raised me listening to Tom Leykis (basically a radio DJ who did the whole Andrew Tate manosphere thing on terrestrial radio 2 decades before it became an internet content genre) and Rush Limbaugh (arch conservative political radio talk show propogandist).

Oh also a drunk. Had to sell the house I grew up in because of his third DUI breaking his finances, had to get an interlock (blow and go) installed in his car for 7 years.

My mom did a whole lot of drugs as a kid and basically has the mental age of an 8 year old, as well as an apparently novel form of neuropathy.

Incapable of taking responsibility for literally anything, complains all the time, very religious, legitimately doesn’t understand words or concepts you’d be introduced to after middle school.

Together, my mom and dad raised me as fundamentalist christians, only for me to later find out they were not raised that way, they became that way after doing all the drugs and sex and partying, and lied to me until extremely recently about their anniversiary date, because it turns out I am actually an unexpected child and they got married 5 months before I was born.

My brother also did a lot of drugs as a kid (while I was getting almost all A’s in highschool and two simultaneous bachelors at Uni), is extremely thin skinned and explosively emotionally unstable.

He thinks that when the previous Chinese President was publically detained during a massively televised Party meeting/conference and subsequently never seen or heard from again, that this was actually him being put into Witness Protection… because of threats on his life.

He also thinks I should just do shrooms with him (not in a medically supervised setting) to better my mental health, and would get angry when I would tell him I’d prefer to listen to my doctors.

… My family is all a bunch of insane narcissist idiots, basically, and would routinely tell me how its not fair that I had a succesful career, constantly complain and hold everyone else to standards they miserably fail to meet themselves, and they would routinely get me to agree to collective plans to pay for things, and then they’d totally fuck up their lives and guilt me into financially fixing them (when I was an adult), as well as constantly dumping all their emotions and problems on me.

EDIT: Oh right, how could I forget the time I was going through normal puberty growing pains and my dad was convinced this was rheumatoid arthritis (a condition that essentially never develops in children) and thus forced me to get a spinal tap against my will, which was botched and still causes me pain everyday, and then spent the rest of his life gaslighting me and everyone else about how that never happened.

EDIT 2: Sadly no, I’ve not managed to get the official diagnosis. The waitlist for the adult autism diagnosing PHD is over a year, and I had to move halfway across the country to find a shithole I can rent with SSDI.

I … still have the recommendation email to the specialist … telling me that they are available to see me now, 1000 miles away, from about a year and a half after this all kicked off.

I am still working on regaining my ability to walk, after a whole bunch of my muscles and ligaments were torn, bones broken.