Spent the last two years basically wasted. Surprisingly have moved up a lot in my life in that time, something to be said about the functional alcoholic.
I’m making this post because I feel like fucking hell, and I’m tired and it’s like every good feeling has been replaced by dog shit.
But I’m not like craving booze right now and so I guess I’m sort of not dependent on it at the moment. I’ve been active too, going to shows and parties and such. They’ve been dramatically less fun, but at least I’m not holed up and away from society like every other time I’ve tried to get off the sauce.
That’s nifty.
Probably will have a drink sometime soon, whatever. Just nice to prove I don’t actually HAVE to drink I guess.
Alcohol is a messy a.f. drug but it’s thought to work on some opiod receptors as part of its action. Unfortunately they’re our shit feels nice receptors (disgusting simplification) and exercise, or rather part of the body’s response to it, works on that too.
God hates us, so when our happy receptors are active all the time our brain turns the volume down so we continue to suffer. Removing the alcohol means the volume on the reward pathways is too low right now.
Fortunately even people who blast the fuck out of those pathways with like heroine don’t stop them from coming back to a relatively normal sensitivity and usually pretty fast. So you probably don’t have to wait long before stuff feels good again and it definitely will happen if you just grit your teeth and rawdog life for a bit.