holy fucking idiots

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    21 days ago

    I read some of those vampire books and there was so much weird shit but I was 13 and horny and it was the late 90s so what you gonna do? You read some smut with the barest veneer of story between the sex parts. Look, mom, I’m reading! I’m being a good boy just please knock before you come in here!

    But I definitely remember one series that had vampires hanging out with Krishna as the backstory because vampires were the original Aryans and of course the main character is a sexy blonde lady and looking back I think “what the fuck was going on”

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      21 days ago

      That’s the subtext that bothered me: “this malevolent entity that’s known for draining blood/souls/something-you-need-to-live and is a parasite on the living world is nice and wants to have sex with me

      There was even a horrid Star Wars EU book called, I kid you not, something like “Twilight of the Jedi” that directly tried to chase the “what if bad things good and sparkly and want to have sex with you” thing but with space magic and lightsabers.

      • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        21 days ago

        Oh God I think I remember that book. Or I at least saw the cover. One of my friends was a huge fan of those books and had every single one. And invariably he would do something stupid and get in trouble for hitting his younger brother and he’d get banned to his room. And I couldn’t abandon my friend because that would be rude. So I’d just hang out in there with him read all the back covers of his books while he pouted.

        • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          21 days ago

          Even the blurb was bad and the book itself was even worse. It was a direct deliberate attempt to cash in on the sparkle vampire fad, Star Wars edition. It came out not long before the Disney takeover eradicated the old EU into “Legends” status and in “Twilight of the Jedi’s” case it was a mercy kill.

          • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            21 days ago

            Oh that’s definitely way after the stuff I was familiar with. I do remember all the hooting and hollering when they shitcanned the EU and I was glad to stay out of it.