“And so” said he, the divorced man

"I have, at last, a master plan.

To purchase things to woo a woman

Buy her spices, silks, and linens

Perhaps a horse for her to ride

Will keep her loyal by my side."

To the market he did hurry

Moving quick and slightly worried

He found the clothier had closed

The flower shop had not a rose

He asked about and found out, too

The horses had been sold for glue

He pulled his scalp as he despaired

Unplugging all his plugged-in hair

"I cannot buy the things I need,

To get a girl to marry me!"

He stopped a moment to reflect

On what thing he would try next

He called up all the fortune tellers

Sayers-sooth and potion sellers

Wizards, mystics, learn’ed men

By bribe or threat he beckoned them

He told them all (straight up of course)

“You must make me un-divorced!”

He drank the brews, said incantations

Real stuff - no imitations!

He fasted til he was delirious

And said “At last!” (and he was serious)

Proclaiming that he’d had a vision

“It’s not me, they need religion!”