• ShaggySnacks
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    3 months ago

    The Beaverton put together a nice, fill in the blank for mass shootings.

    https://www.thebeaverton.com/2015/10/mass-shooting-in-usa-kills/

    Edit: Added the Beaverton article

    __________, USA — Up to ___ people were killed and ____ more injured after a gunman opened fire at a ________.

    There were conflicting reports about casualties, but _______ from _______County Sheriff Department said the number is at __.

    “I heard a popping sound and screaming,” said _________, a _________ at the __________. “And that’s when we all got down. There was ______ everywhere.”

    The shooter’s motive was reported to be ________________.

    Citizens of _______ were ______ and ______ to hear that something like this could happen in their community.

    President _______ and Governor _______ had their _______ and _______ with the victims and their families.

    ____________________________________________________ gun control ___________________.

    The NRA released a statement stating it __________with the victims, but _________ Second Amendment rights and _______________.

      • ShaggySnacks
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        3 months ago

        The Onion’s joke lacks the emotional punch of a fill in the blank sheet for mass shootings.

        A fill in the blank that was published 9 years ago. The joke has the emotional punch because of how common mass shooting have become and the pattern that follows the shootings.

    • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      Madlibs version, fill in the blanks with your own phrases and post:

      1. Noun
      2. Number
      3. Number
      4. Noun
      5. Noun
      6. Noun
      6a. Number from 2
      7. Name
      8. Verb
      9. Noun from 4
      10. Noun
      11. Greivance
      12. Noun from 6
      13. Emotion
      14. Emotion
      15. Noun
      16. Noun
      17. Noun
      18. Noun
      
      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        Alright I finally had time to sit down and do it, and I realized in my earlier haste I made a few mistakes. Here it is corrected and madlibbed out in all its glory:

        Hell, USA — Up to 69 people were killed and _another 420 more injured after a gunman opened fire at a Pepperidge Farm.
        
        There were conflicting reports about casualties, but Booger from Weiner County Sheriff Department said the number is at 69.
        
        “I heard a popping sound and screaming,” said Scooby Doo, a Fart at the Pepperidge Farm. “And that’s when we all got down. There was Butts everywhere.”
        
        The shooter’s motive was reported to be His penis fell off.
        
        Citizens of Weiner were Angry and Horny to hear that something like this could happen in their community.
        
        President Dog Poo and Governor Balls had their  Lunch and Snakes with the victims and their families.