You can be angry in a healthy way. You can carry anger in ways that do not eat you up from the inside, causing that anger to harden into resentful bitterness, and that allow you to fully grieve your very real and unjust losses – that you will NEVER get back – so that even with the presence of anger and ongoing non-resolution of the presenting loss, you’re still moving toward a better life, daily.
Survivors of things like trafficking have to deal with this kind of human-evil created unjust loss and forever damage as well. Pretty sure that’s what this writer wants help with, and it’s not an unreasonable ask of a mental health professional.
But this therapist just wants to skip all that, apparently, which is not uncommon (many, many people are anger avoidant, even therapists) but this anger avoidance does not help their client at all.
The writer coming back with an extended FUCK YEAH I’M ANGRY (and here’s exactly why) rant is not just reasonable, but a better response than the therapist’s. The writer, by openly acknowledging their anger, is actually handling it in a healthier, less self-destructive way than someone who is afraid to even acknowledge it.
Anger – especially deep anger and rage coming from horribly unjust situations that cause lifelong loss, and even more so situations that didn’t even need to happen except for someone else’s unnecessary actions – can be an incredibly tricky emotion to navigate, even threatening to all involved. Many people have visceral, deeply unpleasant reactions to the expression of anger, their own and the anger of others, and again, some of them are even therapists. But if you want to deal with grief, chances are excellent you’re going to have to deal with anger at some point too.
This writer has a much better start on the whole issue of anger than their therapist does, IMO.
If I knew this person, the first thing I would tell them would be what someone else told me long ago: an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is absolutely normal. And I’d start there because it sounds like the therapist may not have even gotten that far.
People can have more than one problem. Last time I checked, humans aren’t 2D. Or even if that’s the main reason the person went to therapy, perhaps they weren’t looking for a “how do I turn this frown upside down” solution, instead hoping to get some advice on how to better channel their frustrations, or gain clearer focus, or just to have someone to help sort out own thoughts. There can be many reasons.
So he paid the therapist to do what exactly? If he things nothing is wrong, then why even go?
You can be angry in a healthy way. You can carry anger in ways that do not eat you up from the inside, causing that anger to harden into resentful bitterness, and that allow you to fully grieve your very real and unjust losses – that you will NEVER get back – so that even with the presence of anger and ongoing non-resolution of the presenting loss, you’re still moving toward a better life, daily.
Survivors of things like trafficking have to deal with this kind of human-evil created unjust loss and forever damage as well. Pretty sure that’s what this writer wants help with, and it’s not an unreasonable ask of a mental health professional.
But this therapist just wants to skip all that, apparently, which is not uncommon (many, many people are anger avoidant, even therapists) but this anger avoidance does not help their client at all.
The writer coming back with an extended FUCK YEAH I’M ANGRY (and here’s exactly why) rant is not just reasonable, but a better response than the therapist’s. The writer, by openly acknowledging their anger, is actually handling it in a healthier, less self-destructive way than someone who is afraid to even acknowledge it.
Anger – especially deep anger and rage coming from horribly unjust situations that cause lifelong loss, and even more so situations that didn’t even need to happen except for someone else’s unnecessary actions – can be an incredibly tricky emotion to navigate, even threatening to all involved. Many people have visceral, deeply unpleasant reactions to the expression of anger, their own and the anger of others, and again, some of them are even therapists. But if you want to deal with grief, chances are excellent you’re going to have to deal with anger at some point too.
This writer has a much better start on the whole issue of anger than their therapist does, IMO.
If I knew this person, the first thing I would tell them would be what someone else told me long ago: an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is absolutely normal. And I’d start there because it sounds like the therapist may not have even gotten that far.
People can have more than one problem. Last time I checked, humans aren’t 2D. Or even if that’s the main reason the person went to therapy, perhaps they weren’t looking for a “how do I turn this frown upside down” solution, instead hoping to get some advice on how to better channel their frustrations, or gain clearer focus, or just to have someone to help sort out own thoughts. There can be many reasons.
It seems like there was a misunderstanding on what he wanted out of therapy or, a mismatch between therapist and client. Something wasn’t clicking.