“Today was good because I didn’t feel like shit for wasting my entire day staring at my phone” sounds like a rock bottom bar for positivity. It’s not even highlighting something positive, it just means you’re now numb to it so it doesn’t really affect you anymore. If your friend didn’t tell you to get off your ass and go outside then they’re not a real friend.

If the chickens decide to start a band, what would it be called?