It might be the smallest detail here, but I don’t think any communist or socialist ever claimed it was reasonable of feasible that the government should own or run every singe business. It’s indeed a confused statement, but it does point to how hard it is to discuss socialism or communism in a world that is so full of the american run western propaganda.
Others have covered a lot, but one thing that have helped me through rough patches is to find something to do. If possible to occupy both body and mind, like exercise, yard work, hiking. Something positive with meaning in and of itself. Time is a friend of broken hearts, and making it pass quicker could just help.
I hope you find a way out and through, we all usually do as the survivors we are.