The second one looks like an English bulldog with jaundice preparing to tell a spooky story around a campfire.

"We have awarded Obama a second Nobel Peace Prize for outstanding achievements in the field of ‘giving Trump a fucking coronary upon learning Obama was awarded a second Nobel Peace prize’ "

It’s well past time to take Grandpa’s car keys away. Bro’s down to one last functioning brain cell bouncing around his skull like the DVD logo.

Those shitty old tiger hand holds kind of worked like that.

Went a couple links deep in the article and nope, the standard kind of decapitated (no photos in the link, it’s just a previous AP article that gives more detail). Sounds like the poor kids shoulder got stuck and she straight up ripped his head off.

Edit - fixed link

deleted by creator

deleted by creator

Tbf, even if we stopped literally right now that doesn’t address what’s already there so even best case scenario would still be a little of column a, a little of column b.

Little Jimmy Loveseat has a nice ring to it.

Depends on how fast you can run. Though the thought of a drive-by glittering on an e-scooter also makes for a pretty fucking funny mental image.

Clearly we just use the hurricanes to put out the fires.

Honestly I think your first point is just a subset of something larger and even more basic - “we’ve always done it this way. Change is scawwy. Different bad. Are you implying I was wrong before?” Etc.

deleted by creator

He actually has been touring as well

Another article from Ohio

*At first you think

Cruella is the devil

But after time has worn

Away the shock

You come to realize

You’ve seen her kind of eyes

Watching you from underneath A rock!

This vampire bat

This inhuman beast

She ought to be locked up

And never released

The world was such A wholesome place until

Cruella, Cruella Noem*

A number of House Republicans hit Walz over his comments last month referring to federal law enforcement agents carrying out Trump’s immigration crackdown as the “modern-day Gestapo.”

Good on Walz for straight up saying it.

Spinal injuries, diabetes, an assortment of neurological conditions. Honestly whatever else he’s got going on, given he’s essentially worn heels every day for decades while also obese, I’d put good money that his back and knees are absolutely fucked.