“You must be this tall to enter heaven.” Written on a wood cutout of St Peter holding his hand out just so high.

There it is!

Isn’t it obvious? Press the key labeled ‘Any’

Nah, he’ll just transfer over to the city police instead. No moving required.

They’re not trapped, the door is wide open. They just don’t want to get out on account of their altitude.

SeaQuest, DS9 at it’s finest!

Does the Wayback Machine keep track of twits…I mean tweets too?

I don’t think he knows what next week means.

It’ll be written in ALL CAPS with a sharpie too I bet!

He wouldn’t hurt a soul. Also, doesn’t believe people not like him even have souls.

More like Ctrl-WHYYYY?

I saw someone at the airport yesterday walking around in an inflatable unicorn suit. Was thinking to myself, not that’s a way to keep cool and keep people out of your personal space at the same time.

I hope they at least had to help him find it. /s

Tires squealing on dirt roads or in the rain

So you just follow Twitter’s example and stop paying for it.

Solitaire