Please take the dunce cap off her, that’s not very nice! :kitty-cri: :cri:

You are a smart and beautiful owl, I believe you will succeed in your studies if you try again!

yeah, and like, I hope it’s clear in my OP, but literally all I want to know is what to do to not trigger their flagging system again. I have no idea what I did or why I was flagged as NSFW. If there’s something I need to do to prevent their automated algorithm from doing that again, I kind of need to know what it is to properly be able to use my tumblr blog in the normal expected way. I’m not looking to admonish anyone, I’m not looking to yell at anyone, or berate anyone, I just want to know how I’m supposed to use their website properly, and FAQs just don’t cut it. There isn’t a FAQ for my specific situation, lol.

That perspective makes sense, it’s definitely a “yes, and”, not an “either/or”. And while it makes sense from a business and logistics perspective, I think companies being more opaque and being harder to access is going to have severely negative effects over the long term. I think it’s only reasonable to expect that every organization with humans behind it should have some sort of human representative, even if it’s just a doorman at the office to tell you to go away. They benefit immensely from the public, why shouldn’t there be a way for the public to communicate with them? But earnestly, maybe that’s a naive and childish expectation for me to have.

Absolutely. I want to be clear too, I don’t harass or abuse these workers and I don’t encourage others to. These quests are just quixotic attempts of trying to find some official representative of the company who can tell me in clear language the information I need to know to properly utilize their product or service. If I’m calling someone who I know wouldn’t possibly be able to help me, I immediately apologize and ask them if they know who I can or should contact, and if they can redirect me. This has worked out for me pretty well in the past, but it’s often frustrating the amount of hoops that are put in place to make it so difficult to contact someone. I understand though, I’ve worked in positions where I’ve taken inbound calls from the public. I think it’s an element of hostile design that’s made all of our lives worse, and these companies love passing the buck around from department to department, from role to role, so that oops, nobody is ever accountable! Websites, Apps, Healthcare Providers, Hiring Agencies, Insurance Companies, Utility Companies, idk, it just sucks. But yeah, generally I’m a big believer you attract more flies with honey than vinegar anyways. I personally have a feeling it’s less likely that the public’s abuse of these workers caused this and more likely that it’s the result of profiteering strategies to make customer service cheaper and cheaper.

god and like, the way they try to sell the lack of phone calls, the lack of human connection as a positive thing.

“oh it’s so easy! use our AI chat! use our app! we bet as a young person, you’ve got phone anxiety right? well do we have the thing for you, it’s a chatbox! we’ll text your phone instead of calling, don’t you like that? Don’t you love it? isn’t it convenient for you?! oh no, it’s entirely incidental that we saved millions of dollars by switching to this instead of having a call center or having to pay a couple people to answer phones, oh no no no, this is for YOUR benefit!”

it’s so fucking condescending. i dont want an app, i dont want AI answers, I want to sit down with one of your employees for 5 minutes and talk to them about what I need, because I’m a person, a social creature who likes interacting with other social creatures. I’m not a god damn robot. where is the warm beating heart?! where is the fucking blood anymore?!

I heard once that anger is a misalignment with your expectations and reality. Once I heard that, it helped me navigate my anger a bit better.

Like, for instance, you expected better treatment and behavior from your Ex. I think it was totally normal and understandable to expect that. I’m angry at the inhuman cruelty of capital, because I expect to live in a world where people are good and kind to each other. You’re right that anger can be a healthy drive, but anger can also be really overwhelming and get out of hand if you feed it too much, so you’ve got to slowly turn the burner down from “bout to go postal” way down to a calm simple “This is not what I expected. I deserve better.”. At that very very low simmer, it’s still a productive drive, it’s still an affirmation of your dignity, but it hasn’t become self-destructive or cruel.

idk, hope that helps, comrade

I’m sincerely sorry for taking offense at something that was clearly not directed towards me.

I feel there’s this very common perception that women are all big soft lazy squishy babies who are automatically ontologically incapable and unwilling to perform dangerous, difficult, and risky activities, and I feel like that perception is unfortunately in the background of our world everywhere I go, almost invisible, like a constant low hum of radiation. I worry that unchecked blanket statements can help reinforce our worst biases.

I’m self-aware enough to acknowledge that I might be projecting that insecurity onto a clearly well-intentioned hexbear post, so fr, earnestly, sorry for being annoying about it.

I understand what you’re getting at - material conditions make it difficult for women to cycle, especially in North America - but as a woman who is literally a professional bike courier and spends most of my waking hours on the road cycling, I can’t help but take a little tiny bit of umbrage at your statement. Not only is “women don’t ride bikes” a factually inaccurate statement, it denies the actual courage and strength and bravery that existing women cyclists have to possess in a world that is actively hostile to us and our safety.

There are many women who ride bikes in spite of how dangerous conditions are, and not a statistically insignificant number of them - they account for about 25% of all cyclists in the United States. I see hundreds of them every day. It takes courage from them. It’s the equivalent of reading “Well now you know why there are no women in video games” or “This is why there are no women in STEM” - again, I truly understand what you’re getting at, that there are material conditions that make these environments more hostile to women specifically. However, I’m sure you can understand why your phrasing feels a little insulting - as if these women, most of whom probably had to fight extra hard fit in, simply don’t exist. Their accomplishments, their names, mean nothing because “there are just no women who do that, sigh, what a shame - no women’s history here to celebrate”. An alternative and more accurate way of phrasing it would be “there aren’t as many women who ride bikes”. Sincerely hope I’m not being annoying or sounding like a scold or anything, but like, yeah dude, I’m a woman and ride bikes for a living, lol, there are women who ride bikes, idk what else to tell ya. also this isn’t even anything new, here’s some context on the long-standing and well-established historical strategic partnership between women and bicycles

edit:

In bike-unfriendly cities, only men with thick skin ride bikes

look man, I know broad strokes paint a picture quicker, but come on, lol, that’s such a blanket statement