I know you specifically said you did not want people talking to you to make you feel better, but what kind of rotten society would we live in if everyone just turned a blind eye? isn’t precisely that behaviour what drove this man to self-immolate?

I can’t really be of much help to you beyond maybe chatting, and I have not been in your shoes, but if some rando on the internet can care about you, definitely someone from a closer circle will too. And maybe you don’t need someone actively trying to make you feel better, but someone with whom you can be honest and sincere about how you feel. You don’t have to carry that burden alone, even if it sometimes feels like its the only way.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that choices and opinions tend to change with time… if you let them, and you, as well as people around you, nudge them in the right direction.

About the self-sacrifice, I find the situation that drove him to do that utterly horrific and unacceptable, but the act itself I can not bring myself to support. Yes, it worked and it had an impact, but at what cost? was it really worth the price he paid? couldn’t he have made a huge impact (even if lesser) without paying such a heavy price? We can’t really tell, but the saddest part is that, now, we will never be able to.

Forming bonds with others, relying on them, supporting others and getting help is what makes us a community, and that is a core aspect of being human. Sharing our lives with others is nothing to be ashamed of, quite the contrary, it is something that defines us.

I love the addendum at the end saying

_ This story has been updated to emphasize that readers should not plant seed bombs in spaces they’re not authorized to access. _

Not gonna happen, beware public patches of dirt!

If you suffer from it also while being around it, it might be time to get rid of it, sadly :( But if it is just when cutting it, wearing a ffp2 mask or similar makes a huge difference, or at leat it does for me (Also rolling around in it might not be a great idea XD). Other than that, just power throught the 2 weeks/ month the worst part lasts for I guess, at least the bees will keep you company :)