An interesting read that confirms many of my thoughts regarding the rise of negativity and hopelessness in the modern world. It explains much of what I feel well. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for explaining. Yeah. That is a weird way of showing subscription and doesn’t encourage people to join if a instance looks dead. One of the growing pains I’m sure will shake itself out.

Did you read the book?

The main takeaway of it is that slowly and pervasively we have been manipulated into handing over our focus. The techniques have been sophisticated and subtle.

If I were to convince you that it was worthwhile to hand over your life savings to me and then it was pointed out to you that you had been manipulated in to doing so, would you not take the view that the money had been stolen from you?

Similarly, for some, telling them to go cold-turkey on tech and social is not massively dissimilar to telling a smoker to just quit smoking, or a alcoholic to just stop drinking. Our brains have been conditioned to want the dopamine fix that our vices give us and it is a strong motivator. Just stopping is not that simple.

But to respond to one comment “we, as as society, are also in charge of gaining our attention back”, that is actually what the book leads to. In the realization that singularly the deck is stacked against us to fight this as much as we may try. It is hard to succeed and easy to fail. But as an organized group or body with the power and/or ability to collectively resist the methods of big tech, to legislate against the situation we are in now where the public are the commodity and the advertisers are the real client to social media companies, to make us the real clients who are catered too, then we stand a better chance.

Not a parent and can’t help much but I do understand you pain.

I’ve moved every few years for the last 15 years and just downsized a two-bed to a one-bed apartment. The result…there is too much stuff in it. As I was packing I felt the same resentment and hate towards all the things that just kept filling up more and more boxes. As much as I don’t like it, I’ve tried to hang onto that hate and it is fuel for the process now as I’m working to reduce my junk to fit a smaller space.

The process is hard, as selling in person or online is surprisingly hard work (I’m introverted and time poor right now). I’m only doing it for the big-ticket items to spare my sanity. The rest is being donated or as a last resort trashed. It is painful to see the money that was sunk into those items literally being thrown or given away and to consider the unnecessary waste but I’m using the experience as a learning moment and as hard as it is I’m being sure to fully experience the pain of fiscal loss and poor environmental stewardship on my part. It will help make me even more thoughtful before future purchases.

I live in the U.S. and rent prices are climbing at an unsustainable rate with frankly unscrupulous behavior by some (corporate) landlords to squeeze every last cent form you. Combine that with other cost-of-living increases and it seems we are headed into an era of having to move frequently just to be able to afford a roof over our heads. It is motivation for me to live lightly to make the increasingly frequent event as painless as possible.

I recommend the article author’s book Stolen Focus. An interesting read. Not so much a self-help book providing solutions to the problem (such as Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism or Deep Work books) but an analysis of the problem and in some ways vindication for us, the masses, who are being constantly manipulated by tech companies that spend billions on psychological methods to keep us hooked and brainwashed.

One of the most impactful parts of the book, for me anyway, points out that while we assume smart speakers and phone assistants are listening into our private conversations to provide the data necessary for Google and their likes to miraculously provide ads for things we may have talked about offline with a family member or spouse (a scary prospect in itself) the reality is even more scarier. They don’t need to listen (although if they can I bet they will), they already know us better than we know ourselves to the point that they know what we are likely to think about before we even know it ourselves and so provide the right ad at just the right time giving the creepy sensation that they were somehow listening to us.

The book has made me much more privacy conscious. Tech is unavoidable but don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Spread your tech needs and subsequently your data across multiple different companies that have better track records for privacy. Make it harder for any one company to connect the dots and be able to know you better than you know yourself!

It is unfortunate that duplication is fragmenting the Lemmy membership. There was already a community for this at https://lemmy.ml/c/digitalnomad that has been around a few weeks.