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Joined 10 months ago
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Cake day: January 9th, 2024

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  • Hospital security guard. Had to help hold down suicidal mental patients so the nurses could put restraints on them. Had to escort counselors from Child Protective Services when they were collecting babies from the maternity ward, so that angry family members didn’t attack them in the parking lot. Had to help wheel bodies down to the loading dock when the mortician came to collect them. Had to stop grieving relatives from trying to rush the ER or operating room when their loved one was on the table.

    I quit after walking into the ER one time to see one of my coworker guards getting a wound on his neck examined while the other guard said, “Dude, you just missed the excitement! Lenny just got bit by a crackhead!”




  • I feel like “don’t try to get with your kid’s best friend’s mom” is also an option that should be on the table.

    That said, don’t go the Facebook friend route. The intent is too ambiguous and doesn’t get you any closer to your goal. I’d favor either the direct approach (the classic, “would you like to go out for a drink sometime?”) or tie it to an activity you’d both be doing already anyway (“My son and I are going out for pizza after the t-ball game, would you and your son like to join us?” (I don’t know how old your kids are)).




  • We used to prepare for Halloween when we first moved to this house. Gave up after we only got 2-3 kids a year. No one seems to go house to house anymore, they all get funneled to the sanctioned downtown street party or the school parking lot event. Now Halloween is just about the only night of the year we turn the porch light off, just in case those 2-3 kids come by on accident.