SadStruggle92 [none/use name]

while there is obviously a power dynamic between differently aged people

IDK, I feel like that’s an incomplete proposition, to some extent at least.

The things that typically make for an “power-dynamic” in a relationship, like accumulated personal wealth, social experience, social networks & ones overall position in society are all to some extent or another correlated with age to some extent. But y’know, none of those are necessarily guarantees; at least not within the specific age-range specified in the post at any rate.

Insufficient concentrations of Orgone Energy is my bet.

There’s a bright green (and definitely strong enough to give you eye damage) laser-light sensor on one of the fan-balancer machines at my job. I think I remember my boss pointing it out to me & told me not to look at it when I started; but you’re not really ever supposed to be able to see it anyways, cause it faces directly up towards the ceiling & normally you have a part directly overtop of it anyways.

So anyways I looked at the laser-light the other day when I was trying to clean the machine. :cri:

Don’t self-mutilate your psyche, folks, don’t romanticize this incredibly liberal conception of a man as an island and instead embrace the people who love you and tell them that you love them back.

I would like to, but really the only person/people that I can think of that are included there are my sister, her kids, and my granddad. I don’t see any of them much, I’m probably gonna see less of them when I get to moving out, and one of them isn’t gonna be around for very much longer.

And also, with regards to like emotional support, there’s not a whole lot I can realistically ask of any of those parties myself.

In other words, they will fight out of a certain sense of boredom, because they cant imagine living in a world without struggle. And when the greater part of the world they live in is characterised by a peaceful and prosperous liberal democracy, they will fight against that peace and prospering, and against democracy.

“Humans are actually just sapient green space fungus.” - The History Denier

The big problem is that a lot of this is stuff that I’ve genuinely been trying to work hard on for the last 4-5 years, and not only has it not really changed anything socially about my life (although I have been slightly more stable in employment), it’s all come crashing down on me lately. I got a real bad leg injury (like, probably gonna require surgery to reattach something bad) in the course of keeping up with my regular weight-training routine & my work, and not only is it costing me a lot of money, but it’s also prevented me from moving forward with my life (i.e. getting my own place closer to work).

I’m also someone who didn’t have a lot of opportunities growing up, I don’t feel. I come from, & still live in, a small & relatively poor community, and I myself lived in a trailer park until I was about 12. I’ve also got ASD, and it’s significant enough that I got diagnosed very young & spent nearly all my school years in special education; and where I went to school they were very big on physical restraint & isolation as punishments. My parents, just as well, had a lot of their own problems & were not generally able to pay attention to what was going on with me, or my sister (who has had a whole host of problems on here own). I never had a lot of chances to make friends with people in my time, and when I have tried most don’t seem to care for my company, or my particularities. Admittedly some of that is my own fault though I suppose, as I was not a very happy or positive person for a very long time, and in a lot of ways I’m still not most of the time though I still try & do what I think is right.

I suppose for all of those reasons I don’t really have the ability to be as naturally “attentive” as people might ask or expect of me; and that makes me very dubious of my ability to ever really be a part of society.

…

I’m not sure how I want to conclude this now as it’s close to my bedtime, and I’m running out of brain-power to formulate & connect ideas with; but I hope you can figure out what I’m trying to get at here.

But imo taking it super serious and cutting yourself off from humanity because you got caught in an alienation feedback loop is really depressing to me.

I gotta be honest, I feel like I’ve been stuck in one of these for the last 20 years. I do not know what to do, and it is very unpleasant. :doomer:

Damn, the song has been beaten.