Holy shit I’ve had this before and thought I was going crazy. Glad to to know it’s not just me

The real pain is when you meet them and they turn out to be the wrong person for you.

Trying to. It’s hard because I’m super lonely and want to connect with people. But it’s still really new here and not a lot of users are here yet.

I think about doing this all the time and I have the exact same fear.

The friends I knew managed to do so much with their lives over the years. By comparison, I feel like I’m stuck in the exact same place I was in years ago.

Whenever I think about reaching out, I think about that moment. The one where they ask how I’ve been doing or what I’ve been up to.

I don’t even know where I’d start or what I’d say. Just the thought of it alone is enough to make me extremely anxious.

I think I’d rather eat actual dirt than face the embarrassment of letting them see how I turned out.

A compliment. They don’t come often but when they do, they make my whole month.

You’re welcome. Best of luck to you

Honestly that’s exactly the way I feel about eating these days. It truly does feel like putting on a show.

The worst part is I want to put on that show if means I don’t have to feel guilty about not eating. However even if I try my best, sometimes it’s still not enough and they get pissed anyways.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. No one is ever pleased no matter how hard you to try.

PS: Never apologize for feeling the way you feel. Trust me I understand how hopeless life feels sometimes. I have my moments where I think about not being alive too.

You aren’t alone in that.

Yup. My appetite goes away because of my adderall. It actually causes problems with my family believe it or not.

For some reason people get horribly offended if you don’t finish their food. Even if it’s clear that you’re just full or not feeling all that well.

Doesn’t help that I used to be heavier. So people always assume that I’m doing it because I don’t want to gain weight. Which in turn makes them push even more food towards me. It’s exhausting

Peach Lemonade vodka and pineapple mango juice. Really good