GarfieldOfficial [he/him, comrade/them]

Reading theory, becoming a leftist, and self- crit were intertwined with working on becoming a better partner for me. So many heteronormative brain worms to dig out from growing up

https://web.archive.org/web/20240328004259/https://www.thecut.com/article/age-gap-relationships-marriage-younger-women-older-man.html

I misremembered it being from a movie- it’s from some New York publication

Oh yeah? Explain that to the heirloom jar of “dna” (similar to a sourdough starter) passed down to me that I literally carry everywhere

2 when I first wake, 6 about 1hr into work when mfs are testing me, 1 when I finally make it home ready to do it all again

The fall didn’t actually kill him- he was just trapped in there with the lawn mower comically chasing him around for days until he collapsed from exhaustion

“You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” Apparently the answer to the author is, “yes”. Deeply unserious examination

More like kiesterville

My favorite irl pedantry is correcting -phobes that using “them” in the singular is actually grammatically correct. Since it’s usually an argument with pedants and civility libs it usually gets them all riled up. Disregarding that I don’t really care about grammar, it’s fun to do a little bad faith and remind them their ignorance is bottomless.

“Look, my foot’s about to be Indigenous to your ass, pal”

Tbf we have the disadvantage of reading this. Anyone in the UWEC audience zoned out the moment she said “brat” and immediately started thinking of grilling.

Fr. WRT my parents - I wouldn’t give them too much leeway lol but they were a startling, real-time example of isolation and mass news media consumption during the “lockdown” in the US.

Got to see their rhetoric shift from things that annoyed me (typical boomer jingoism) to things that enraged me (transphobic, homophobic, anti-homeless, opinions wrt riots etc.) following isolation from their (surprisingly progressive) church groups, friends, and consumption of mass news media.

I like to think that the conversations I (loudly) had with them when those things came up and the years-long embargo from our home had some effect of spurring self-crit and growth, but the settler mindset runs deep so who knows. I’d previously passed along Braiding Sweetgrass, which my mom didn’t finish because it made her feel too sad- so hearing that they were learning from Indigenous knowledge keepers and attending community events was a great surprise. So growth is possible. I also had a lifetime friend remind me that in 8th grade I “didn’t believe in climate change”, and now that’s essentially what my life revolves around lol so pobodys nerfect.

My hometown has been gutted enough by capital that they recognize its effects if not in terminology, then in the friends that lost jobs when the pallet factory, drill-bit factory, paper mill, etc. closed in the late 90s/early 00s, or more recently when an investment firm acquired the largest employer in town (mail order retail) on behalf of a competitor with the sole purpose of immediately shuttering it. Seems like so many pieces that led to my “lefty” development have been there, if one understands them that way and not as a lizard-person conspiracy lol.

Frankly, this website has taught me so much about the importance of self-crit in an era where you can get any dogshit opinion validated online or on tv. There seems to be a common theme among settler crackkkers where you avoid discussing things that make you uncomfortable wrt the atrocities of past generations, and it’s so crucial to be beaten over the head with those lest they be forgotten.

Idk where I was going with this necessarily- just enjoyed (as usual) engaging with someone on this site.

Good summary. I grew up in a rural part of the US, and have lived in a few metropolitan regions of the Midwest. My take is a gross oversimplification- but the racism in rural areas seems mean-spirited, but directed by those without any sort of real power and often driven by ignorance. In metropolitan and more bourgeois circles, there’s often 99% awareness and buy-in of the fact that the “first world” is built with the blood of the “third world”, and a tacit approval through lack of action. My fairly poor parents in rural America, once expressed ignorant, reactionary opinions regarding unhoused and Indigenous peoples- I “strongly urged” a course correction in thought. Since then, they’ve attended a few Indigenous speakers at our local library and a powwow hosted by a local tribe. They’ve also volunteered with the temporary housing, and (low bar alert) didn’t express the ignorant opinions others did wrt my travels to San Francisco and Portland for work.

My wife’s folks are from the same region, but have a bit more wealth. They’re very conservative, and much more entrenched in that thought. They literally don’t take in new opposing view points, despite being more formally educated. Without giving too much information- the step dad is an environmental engineer who doesn’t “believe in” climate change, and the mom is a teacher who actively supports anti-teacher state policy. (Fortunately their only “action” is voting).

Compare that with the few state department people I’ve interacted with, where there’s no ignorance in their racism- just conscious, bourgeois liberal white supremacy. And a dedication to maintaining it, and the power to do so.

Like you said- the further removed one sees themselves from those being oppressed- the more smug they are over the blind fortune that they’re not on the receiving end of it.

Beautiful. Only improvement would be if it recognized their birthday and did full screen balloons

Pretty loose curls here (red hair), that I’ll wear at ~3-4” on top and then just w/e makes the sides look good. My biggest change was going to rarely washing. My curls used to be very dry and frizzy (esp in winter), I had scalp dryness, and it in general looked like Lucille ball (not what I was going for unfortunately.) I’ll maybe wash my hair 1/month if it’s getting gross or I get stuff in it. if I do wash it I’ll typically use a leave in conditioner (currently using “Function of Beauty” products), but it still feels like it takes a few days before my hair isn’t dried out. Somewhere in there is a theoretical sweet spot where I’m really happy with how my hair looks.

Lib alert

This building looks like how I imagine Fort Knox will after it’s privatized. Col Sanders presents the “Kentucky Fried Chicken Buillon” depository

Oh great so then we can look forward to listicles “20 tech journalists disrupting the panhandling space”

Wannabe Tom of Finland

What else did you think they meant by “Knobby” tires