Funniest outcome:

1. Trump wins
2. Biden does a speech ranting about how he would have won
3. Trump dies in office
4. President Vance

Fuck that’s actually not funny and more just wearily realistic

Piers Morgan humiliation fetish is back, this time he brought the Dersh along too

Needs Bennie Hill music

Crime waits

lol trump distancing himself from JD Vance already

And I learned that, uh, it makes a difference. This was the diving board area, and I was one of the guards. And they weren’t allowed to it was a three meter board. If you fell off sideways you landed on the damn the darn cement over there. And Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did and back in those days and to show you how things have changed, one of the things you had to use, if you used pomade in your hair you had to wear a bathing cap. And he was up on the board wouldn’t listen to me, I said HEY ESTHER! YOU! OFF THE BOARD! OR I’LL COME UP AND DRAG YOU OFF! Well he came off, and he said, “I’ll meet you outside.” My car, this was mostly, these were all public housing behind you. My car, there was a gate out here. I parked my car outside the gate. And I, he said, “I’ll be waitin’ for you.” He was waitin’ for me with three guys with straight razors. NOT A JOKE! There was a guy named Bill Wrightmouse, the only white guy and he did ALL the pools, he was the mechanic. And I said what am I gonna do? And he said, “Come down here in the basement. Where mechanics where where all the pool filter is.” You know the chain? There used to be a chain went across the deep end. And he cut off a six foot lump of chain he folded it up he said, “You walk out, with that chain. And you walk to the car and you say, ‘you may cut me man, but I’m gonna wrap this chain around your head.’” I said you’re kidding me. He said, “No if you don’t, don’t come back.” AND HE WAS RIGHT! So I walked out with the chain. And I walked up to my car. And they had in those days used to remember the straight razor you’d bang’em on the curb get’em rusty put’em in a rain barrel get’em rusty. And I looked at’em. But I was smart, then. I said, first of all I said when I tell you get off the board you get off the board I’ll kick you out again but I shouldn’t have called you Esther Williams. I apologize for that. I apologized but I didn’t know if that apology was going to work. He said, “YOU APOLOGIZING TO ME?” I said I apologize not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said, and he said, “OK” closed the straight razor and my heart began to beat again.

So, I heard, and this is what they’re telling me - Vivek, you know Vivek, right? Smart guy, very smart, some say too smart, but we like him, we like him - a little too smart for his own good, maybe - but I heard he’s a Trotskyist now. That’s right, folks, a Trotskyist. You know, Trotsky, Trotsky, the guy with the little glasses, not a great look, not a good look, folks. And I said, “What’s a Trotskyist?” - and they tell me, they say, “Sir, it’s someone who is a Trot,” and I said, “Trot? Like a horse? Like a horse!”

So I commented the other day about the British billionaire whose boat sunk in a freak storm off Sicily, two days after his codefendant in a fraud trial was run over and killed.

After reading this Twitter thread:

1. He was absolutely, without doubt, a product of the intelligence services, making Keir Starmer’s intelligence connections look innocent
2. He’s entered the Blowback universe due to his connection with no less than fucking Richard “The Prince of Darkness” Perle

British billionaire missing after yachting accident off the coast of Sicily

This comes 2 days after his codefendant in a fraud trial was hit by and car and critically injured

Comrade Eyup Lovely with a new dispatch concerning the UK’s Health Secretary, Wes Streeting

I’m delighted to confirm as the only person on Earth who has read any of Wes Streeting’s autobiography that the only reason he is alive is because his Mum ate a full English breakfast before her scheduled abortion and was unable to complete the procedure. Haunting.

Hey it’s my namesake’s mega

Governor Gavin Newsom stealing an unhoused person’s posessions. Vote Blue

I’m back on my Starmer conspiracy brainworms, and this might be totally silly of me, but….

Assuming MI5 had him orchestrate the dismantling of the Labour left in anticipation of worsening material conditions over the next two decades and the potential rise of a robust British socialist movement, could an additional objective be to enact draconian authoritarian laws to suppress protests and enhance surveillance? He then bows out after a year or two with deep unpopularity but with strong protections for capital in place, to be replaced with Ed Milliband in an attempt to show “progressive” leadership.

Basically, given the last 10 years the last few days happening has been horribly predictable. If you’re a Gladio aficionado, you might be sympathetic to the conspiracy theory I’m leaning toward here.

British fascists set fire to hotel housing asylum seekers

Starmer’s Britain

Fash in the UK continue with their attempted pogroms. A hotel housing asylum seekers has been attacked and is currently surrounded, with police currently holding a line.

Keir Starmer has described the riots as “far right thuggery” and “racist rhetoric”, finally conceding that there might be some sort of anti-Muslim thing happening.

Edit: video of fascists trying to break into a hotel to attack asylum seekers

I remain convinced that Starmer had a pact with Farage, which led to Labour pulling support for their candidate in Clacton when he started gaining ground on Farage. Actions like this make me think it is an ongoing thing.

This paper was published in 2023, but is popping up on Twitter for me today - I hadn’t seen the evidence of a non-Chinese origin of the virus laid out so clearly before.

Genome analysis of Covid shows that the dominant strain of Covid that spread during the pandemic neither originated in China, or was the cause of the December 2019 epidemic in China (which was due to 2 other strains).

Based on the estimated tMRCA of the non-redundant global genomes, SARS-CoV-2 appears to have already been circulating globally for at least 10 months before its first discovery in Wuhan. Therefore, focusing only on the genomes in China would make it impossible to reveal the actual origin of the pandemic.

…

The tMRCAs of DL and DS were in September and October, respectively. Considering the ancient status of DS and DL compared with the status of GL, these results indicate that the three haplotypes were already separated before April 2019 and have evolved in parallel since then. In other words, GL that caused the global pandemic did not originate from the viral strains that caused the epidemic in China. The ancestor strains (DS0 and DL0) of DS and DL that gave birth to GL were already extinct before the outbreak of COVID-19; therefore, much more recent tMRCAs have been estimated by using only the current genome sequences.

…

In contrast to the time order in China, the tMRCA of GL was considerably earlier than that of the two older haplotypes in most regions of the world, including India, Southeast Asia, Europe, Africa, the USA, and South America ( Fig. 4 ). The earliest tMRCA of GL was identified in India, which had a mean of May 9, 2019, followed by Africa, Europe, and the USA with tMRCAs in May to July, 2019, suggesting that GL had spread globally at least 6 months before its discovery.

EyupLovely pinpoints an itch I’ve had the last week - Kamala is a speed run of Starmerism:

The Americans are speedrunning 2020-23 Starmerism with the coconut tree lady. Same smugness, same guilt tripping about the danger of the alternative, same certainty, same denialism of everything they did as a prosecutor, same height. They don’t know it, but they are doing it.

• https://xcancel.com/eyuplovely/status/1818833691226853731