My perfectionism is disabling. I ban myself from doing anything I don’t feel like I’ll do perfect at. I barely do things I love and don’t know my interests well. I love people and mingling, but I grew up selectively mute until highschool and to this day I have a hard time being direct. I overthink all texts. I used to type one sentence for hours and not send anything. My humor is very underdeveloped because I don’t risk bombing jokes. There’s so much I won’t do unless someone is there encouraging me and enthusiastically approving of what I’m doing. I have severely low self esteem because of my level of perfectionism. I just want to hang out and chill with people and have interests that I act on.
Btw, what do you do when you need to do something you love, fast?
A lot of this sounds really, really familiar, although my experience was a bit less severe.
One mantra I try to give myself, as frequently as possible, is “Anything you put out there is good enough”. I would have massively benefited from hearing this in childhood.
Another thing that I’m trying to live by is “Don’t leave worthy things undone or unsaid”, because I have way more regrets from what I haven’t done than from what I have done.
Make mistakes and embrace them. Bob Ross did it in painting, the Japanese have a whole philosophy of wabi-sabi, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Some substances may regulate the neurotransmitters in ways that makes it all seem way less paralyzing. Use moderation in this though.