I want to meet people around my age who I can spend lots of time with either romantically or just friends or something. I have recently just turned 21 years old and I have never really dated anyone in real life or even kissed anyone. I don’t have a job, I don’t drive and I still live with my parents. I am really just a talentless fool trying to be some sort of artist and taking community college classes without any real idea or direction in life. Am I even deserving of love and friendship here in the 21st century? I want to be a better person but I don’t know if I have the strength to become who I want to really be on my own. Being socially isolated for so long has really affected my mind a lot and how I view myself. I don’t really know what I am or how I can fit in with any group of people. I need some sort of social validation. I would like to have at least one person who understands me well who I can share anything with. What would be the least terrible option for me to meet local strangers via the internet? Or is there some better way of meeting people that I have not considered?
i have tried tinder with absolutely no luck, i have a friend who recently found someone on Hinge and i was going to try that whenever i have time to take photos of myself, but i am not optimistic at all.
i was in your position when i was younger except i had a car and i still ended up alone for most of my life so far, i have yet to manage to square the circle of accepting my loneliness enough to not come across as desperate i think, which compounds other obstacles to socializing such as my financial situation (unemployed), living situation (with parents), and general social alienation (neurodivergent with niche interests and obscure beliefs incopmpatible with the default background cis-hetero-patriarchical white-supremacist capitalist realist suburban mediocrity)
i’m like 80% sure i’m too mentally ill to successfully engage in a romantic relationship with anyone at this point. i can hardly even engage in a conversation with most people without needing to info-dump a textbooks worth of background info first, i simply have no interest whatsoever in simplistic topics or ‘small talk’, i don’t really care about sports or new music or media or celebrities or actors or alcohol and i’m uncomfortable talking about sex and i don’t have a job so i can’t talk about work, so i basically have nothing to talk to normal people about. i can autistically spout off about my niche interests like mechs and sci fi military technology or philosophy or politics or history but thats about it. i spend a lot of time in like a weird detached mental state trying not to think at all and focusing on whatever stupid tasks i have to do in front of me. i don’t like being outside or in public spaces so idk what i would even do on a date, i hate live music and bars and i couldn’t afford to do anything anyway.
i have almost learned to live permanently with sexual frustration the same way i have learned to live with PTSD, social anxiety, and depression: by having no other choice.