So I’m real confused at why people hate big polyamorous relationships? Like it confuses me because isn’t the basis of being poly. Loving others and loving multiple people. Giving dedication to multiple people? Which it never specified on what type of group or how big of a group. So where does the hate of big polys come from?
If anyone can explain this please. Since this is not the first time I’ve got hate for my poly. Which actually normally I ether instantly get banned from places for asking questions or I get like 100s of downvotes. Though everyone just keeps their mouths shut and I’ve never really asked before but it just doesn’t make sense. Why is adding people to a poly to protect and love them. To give them the best life possible. With no abuse and no manipulation. To give others the happiness it’s hard for me to feel. A bad thing like why does the size of the poly or how we’re together make any difference. It’s just love isn’t it? Also it’s completely legal? So where is the issue.
Now I’ve heard some people jokingly call it a sex cult but I don’t believe it’d logically be that. Also for me it has nothing to do with the number of people, their sexualities, gender. All that matters to me is their personality and how I can help them grow into who they want to become. Which this probably gonna sound cheesy but it’s like watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly. The beauty that comes from their happiness when they succeed or become who they want to be is my favourite part. Below is the definition of Polyamory and it never specifies anything about size or how it works unless it’s consensual and morally correct. So if this is a stereotype why don’t we burn that shit and just love!
Which I thought to add people can have different size polys or work differently yk and if you take my approach you’ll know when you get enough people or some can just give infinite love out.
I think it’s because it absolutely stretches the limits of what most people imagine can be done based on time. Like that’s my initial thought. I barely have time for three partners, once you get past ten it’s difficult to imagine how you manage the scheduling alone unless you’ve got like a commune going.
Thank you so much for your answer!!! Though I see what you mean I guess there is no schedule and since everyone is with everyone (almost beside blood relations) their not dependent on one person for love or comfort so while one person is out with another most of the time they’ll just go to someone else or we honestly most of the time don’t do anything we’re just separated between two main houses and when they wake up. We’re just there talking and or doing different small things.
Which then there are the almost totally independent ones, like my wife mommy, she basically lives in the wilderness. Is only home like once or twice a month. Then Lord, Villman and Sjøengel are movie actors they’re out busy with their life or their own kids. Then like Fae, Pebble, and Bear are singers too. So they have their own life but still more around more than the actors but still really busy.
Yeah what you’re saying makes a certain amount of sense but when I mentally model it it keeps looking more like a nonromantic commune than something like my relationships where a handful of people struggle to have time even though we don’t have any triads or anything like that in our polycule. And that’s probably why people go to cult. I don’t even have that many friends I interact with on a regular basis, and that’s despite being involved in communities and such.
Yeah that makes sense and same on the friend part most were friends of my partners or we just randomly meet them. Like at the business we own Tuesday we met Sam ( don’t have a name yet) they where with their friend and I started chaotic sexual shit and their friend was being a dick about it when it’s normal for stuff to happen in the store. Though they was being really non caring about it until they realized who they was but when talking to them I realized how beautiful their personality was and asked if they wanted to join. So normally it’s ether friends of my partners or random people we meet.
Another thing to mentions normally we have them write in journals of things they want and or things not going well. So we can communicate without nervous talking unless really needed too. Which don’t get me wrong communication through talking is always improving but sometimes it’s just easier to use a journal. Otherwise we make an effort never to yell or fight. Instead try our best to communicate calmly.