Based on numerous experiments and careful consideration, I confidently rejected the null hypothesis of me “making” gender an issue. I am measurably more miserable when I’m perceived as male than when I am perceived as female.
On every self report measure of anxiety, depression, stress, suicidal ideation, my scores have improved and remain consistently stable when I feel less dysphoria after socially transitioning. I am far more productive and outgoing, with my self-harm behaviors completely stopped by gender affirmation. Happy and energetic vs depressed and suicidal.
This isn’t something that happens because I want it, as I didn’t really want to go through the effort of transitioning after I realized I wanted to be a woman. Do you hear me? I DIDN’T WANT TO TRANSITION, and yet, I didn’t have a choice. I would not be able to work, I would not be free of suicidal thoughts, I couldn’t fucking live unless I transitioned.
Saying I “made” my gender an issue is like saying I “made” my hip slowly dislocating an issue. I didn’t choose to have my leg slip away from hip over a period of months. It wasn’t a minor issue either. I basically wouldn’t have been able to walk if it went untreated. Surgically implanting a screw to hold my leg in place wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity. I couldn’t ignore that.
You seem to think we control our brains, and not the other way around. We aren’t in control. It’s an illusion. Free will is dead as a doornail, even without considering determinism or causality.
Also, I have no idea why you think “issues” can ever be objective. I assume you’re talking about how much they “matter” which is a measure of importance or value. However, there is no “objective” measure of importance. That’s literally antithetical to the very concept. It’s inherently relative. So no, you can’t say nail polish is objectively “small” in value, because value can never be objective.
You’re far deeper in the Matrix than you think you are.
That’s the thing. No one’s really in control of themselves. Some people have more or less control over different aspects, but we’re limited by default, not free by default. I kind of knew this was the case scientifically, but being trans forced me to understand this truth at a deeper level.
I wouldn’t say I’m the source of my being trans anymore than I’m the source of my heartbeat orr DNA. I am the “source of everything about me,” but that concept of source doesn’t tell me much. I’m no more the source of this issue than we’re the source of all possible issues.
Or maybe whether you paint your fingernails or not is an issue because you make it an issue. You. Not the cosmos, the creator or society. You.
Which, yes, doesn’t make it any less of an issue. But, again. Perspective.
Because, and I think I can say this objectively: fingernail polish is very very small.
Based on numerous experiments and careful consideration, I confidently rejected the null hypothesis of me “making” gender an issue. I am measurably more miserable when I’m perceived as male than when I am perceived as female.
On every self report measure of anxiety, depression, stress, suicidal ideation, my scores have improved and remain consistently stable when I feel less dysphoria after socially transitioning. I am far more productive and outgoing, with my self-harm behaviors completely stopped by gender affirmation. Happy and energetic vs depressed and suicidal.
This isn’t something that happens because I want it, as I didn’t really want to go through the effort of transitioning after I realized I wanted to be a woman. Do you hear me? I DIDN’T WANT TO TRANSITION, and yet, I didn’t have a choice. I would not be able to work, I would not be free of suicidal thoughts, I couldn’t fucking live unless I transitioned.
Saying I “made” my gender an issue is like saying I “made” my hip slowly dislocating an issue. I didn’t choose to have my leg slip away from hip over a period of months. It wasn’t a minor issue either. I basically wouldn’t have been able to walk if it went untreated. Surgically implanting a screw to hold my leg in place wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity. I couldn’t ignore that.
You seem to think we control our brains, and not the other way around. We aren’t in control. It’s an illusion. Free will is dead as a doornail, even without considering determinism or causality.
Also, I have no idea why you think “issues” can ever be objective. I assume you’re talking about how much they “matter” which is a measure of importance or value. However, there is no “objective” measure of importance. That’s literally antithetical to the very concept. It’s inherently relative. So no, you can’t say nail polish is objectively “small” in value, because value can never be objective.
You’re far deeper in the Matrix than you think you are.
So you are the source of the issue. But you are not in control of yourself.
That’s the thing. No one’s really in control of themselves. Some people have more or less control over different aspects, but we’re limited by default, not free by default. I kind of knew this was the case scientifically, but being trans forced me to understand this truth at a deeper level.
I wouldn’t say I’m the source of my being trans anymore than I’m the source of my heartbeat orr DNA. I am the “source of everything about me,” but that concept of source doesn’t tell me much. I’m no more the source of this issue than we’re the source of all possible issues.