Just commit, no matter the response. Adding /s is akin to explaining a joke after you tell it. If someone doesn’t understand or pick up on the sarcasm, it’s not your responsibility to spell it out for them. You add /s because you don’t want to be held accountable.
Yeah I used to think so too, until my SO told me “Hey, I get it, your sarcasm is really funny to me. But everyone else thinks your an asshole”
I have a very, very dry sarcasm, and with my tone most people can’t tell that I’m usually not being serious when I’m talking, let alone in messages. So yeah, you can hold to the “It’s their fault for not getting it”, which is what I thought too, but in the court of public opinion they’re not going to see you that way. I thought I was a very funny sarcastic guy. They thought I was the asshole that they all braced to work with, and that’s why I never got invited to parties.
You just hit on the big difference. Your SO actually knows you so even in text she can probably get your sarcasm. I don’t know anybody in this thread so I can’t always honestly distinguish between some sarcastic comments and crazy ones. Some people are actually crazy.
Exactly. We all have nuances in our sarcasm, mine is very dry and sometimes I honestly don’t even notice I’m being sarcastic. I learned I can’t use it on people who have never seen it before, or rather if I do be expected for them to take my literally.
Bruh u gotta stop caring what random dickheads think. Fuck em what are they gonna do not invite ya to a party have your own party with your better friends who get what sarcasm is.
I appreciate what you’re saying, but trust me, it was me. A classic case of “If you walk around town all day and all you smell is shit, check the bottom of your shoe.” When people came back to talk to me at my job I thought I was joking, when really my form of joking was a very dry sarcasm that could easily be taken offensively. I just never knew it.
I learned to introduce it slowly over time, see how people react to it. If they pick up on it then I’m cleared to keep going, but to never assume that someone will pick up on it by default.
I agree but also want to point out that as social animals we can’t help but care what others think of us. You’d need to be a psychopath to not care and I believe that even they do because being liked makes it easier to get what you want.
You right as social animals we do have a need for human connection (to be liked as u said) but that need can be fullfilled by our friends as we do for them. I dont see why u need everyone to like you i find it very freeing that i can be hated by someone and not care because i know that i have friends who do care. As some motherfucker once said if you can count your good freinds on one hand you know they are real freinds or something along those lines anything more is an excersise in vanity.
Being liked often does get you what you want or at least makes it easyer. I suspect that phychopaths are constantly weighing up how much they need you but then again phycopathy often does come with narsasism which tends to give people a need to be loved homelander and trump are excellent examples of narsasism leading to the need to be loved.
Do you now make sure to say “JK JK LOLOL” after?
I don’t care what you do. I’m just telling you what happened to me. I thought I was sarcastic and that I had some elite sense of humor that only the smartest people could get. Maybe that’s true, I don’t know. What I do know is that my “elite tier sarcasm” that no one else got ended with me sitting alone most of the time with people avoiding me.
You do what you want. You can feel free to laugh at my advice if you want, doesn’t bother me.
But, I’d invite you to really reflect on yourself about how you may come off to others if you’ve never done it. Just, think about it. For me it didn’t really sink in until I realized my friends were going out and not inviting me, and I realized that I was really, really alone. I’m very grateful my SO sat me down and told me that. It was a hard conversation, I didn’t like what it said about me, but lessening the sarcasm was a small price to pay to be a lot more approachable.
But hey I’m just a stranger on the internet.
In all seriousness, I typically refrain from sarcasm in person. I’m also glad you grew from your experience, and your SO seems thoughtful. This post is solely referring to the internet.
Thanks, appreciate it. Smart move not using it in person with people you don’t know. Online, it depends on the situation for me. Most of the time I find that the context the comments are in will pick it up. However, there are some comment chains that I add an /s just to make sure it’s clear, or if I’m changing context from a sarcastic tone to a non-sarcastic tone.
Reddit was and Lemmy is pretty good about it. If I’m ever on corpo-social-media, which, not really anymore, I never use sarcasm. Even if I said it’s sarcasm someone will still jump down thinking I’m being serious.