• DrWeevilJammer@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      If I was going to disappoint them anyway I might as well do it without torturing myself in the process, right?

      …but how do you keep yourself from torturing yourself for disappointing yourself?

      • Taniwha420@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Yeah, there’s a part of me still believes I should be doing more. After my marriage failed it took a lot of feedback and journaling to accept that despite some human failings, I’m a good dad! My kids love being with me. I know them. I care for them, and I’m constantly getting better. (I ended up in subsidized housing, and there are a bunch of mums here that know what a shitty man looks like. They’ve done wonders for my self esteem.)

    • Taniwha420@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Absolutely. I definitely went through a decade after I went to university where fucking around was just a self-defense. You can’t fail if you never really try. I smoked a tonne of pot. Somehow I still came out with a fairly respectable level of success. I think I’ve at some levels deliberately dated damaged women because having a dysfunctional relationship was ‘easier’ than letting someone down.