Presidential elections should be decided the old fashioned way: shooting matches between warlords to determine who has the mandate of heaven.
political duels are so fucking funny. I need them back so bad dude
i’ll never forgive bernie for stopping that fight
Take em all off all the ballots.
I’d like to cast my vote for Chat GPT, but, like one of the significantly older, more janky versions. Hell, SmarterChild for President!
Can I vote for a sentient cloud of methane being released by already thawing permafrost?
No. That’s actually likely to happen. Quit putting shit like that out in the universe.
Are you saying that I can manifest my ideal gaseous leader by thinking about it?
Or were you unaware that last year in Alaska and BC, rivers were running a yellow color indicating the permafrost was already starting to melt?
…
Or is this all a setup for a fart joke, Mr or Ms or Mz fartographer?
No need to be so formal, you can use my regular title “The.”
Unfortunately, I’m all too aware of the horrible gasses, bacteria, and viruses in the permafrost that lay juuuuuust dormant enough that we’re about one snail’s fart away from potential catastrophe. Which is why, once again, I implore you: please do not vote for an uprising of that which lays beneath centuries and millennia of delicate ice. I’d hate to find out that we doomed ourselves via the Santa Claus/Last Unicorn effect.
Well you are in luck!
I am currently homeless, thus I do not have a permanent address, thus I cannot legally vote!
God Bless America.
I’m really sorry to hear that! I hope you get to enjoy a future as bright as you are and fuck these ecocentric policies
Cleverbot is my president
cluhVERbut
that’s my best attempt at how I remember cleverbot saying it’s own name
I’m voting for Trip and Grace from Façade
Just Grace. Its HER turn.
Melon!
Would be funny to literally not have a candidate on the ballot for either party and libs still insist you have to vote for unspecified faceless candidate a otherwise unspecified faceless candidate b will win.
This reminds me of when wrestling fans sing the praises of history’s most dominant wrestler, Vacant.
Thanks, I didn’t realize my dog Wavy Gravy had anything to do with that :)
balkanizeImagine being some dnc dipshit paid six or seven figures, and this unbelievably plain outcome didn’t occur to you
Still getting paid more than me despite being demonstrably dumber and picking the wrong fucking choice every time
Also I live in Texas, wasn’t voting for genocide Joe anyway
The Democrats fucking love to disprove the very meritocracy they claim to defend
Like most people joke about a civil war, but I could genuinely see it happening. The white petite bourgeois is so fucking insane right now I could see them pushing for it. Remember the last civil war really was just as goofy from a material perspective, the northern libs really really didn’t want to abolish slavery, all they wanted was to renegotiate a new power sharing agreement between the northern ruling class and the southern. But the southerners were so fucking batshit insane anything other than 1000% southern interests was white genocide. It was only really the act of war that gave abolitionists actual power to force northerner whites to be descent human beings and abolish slavery. Like modern libs want so desperately for the conservatives to like tone down fascism by like 1 degree so they can keep the capitalism machine ticking over. Just look at how the dems are basically giving Republicans their dream crime against humanity on the border just so they can get them to pay for their other crimes against humanity. And yet the conservatives are still too insane to take a victory.
I don’t think the civil war was completely nonmaterial. The slaveholding south was genuinely scared of even the moderate abolitionism espoused by Lincoln who wanted western states to be free states. This would tip the scales in congress in favor of free states in time, allowing for the abolition of slavery by law. The slaveholding south saw their power eroding, which is why every compromise for new states was extremely contentious and why Kansas ended up in civil war in the lead up to the real civil war. So I don’t know how correct it is to say the south left for no reason, since Lincoln really did represent a threat to their interests (albeit an extremely moderate one)
I didn’t mean to imply non material or without reason, but the reaction to Lincolns election was way out of proportion to the potential limits that were to be put on slavery. The idea that without infinite growth slavery would be abolished is very much a unchallenged assumption of the, very deranged, slave holders themselves. The infinitely more likely possible outcome is slavery.being in someway limited to one of the previous demarcation lines, and then it literally never being abolished. The north had to be dragged kicking and screaming to abolition, and then the quick abandonment of reconstruction shows even that acceptance wacw grudging.
I like how it says threaten. Fuckin do it bitch, you know it would be the only thing to get people off the couch and into the streets again. As much as we talk shit about the electoral system, taking Joe Biden off is pretty much the thing that will tell everyone in Texas that Greg abbot is basically the president of Texas, and everyone hates that guy. No more democracy, not even the illusion.
Yea this might even be so mask off that it would actually get liberals to realize rhe entire system is a sham and there’s no reas9n to put any faith in voting. but I’ve also said that a bunch of times before…
No, they’d just blame the one guy, or the Republicans at most.
It was the Russians
Just the MAGA republicans. Liz Cheney could fix this.
Typical yanks, even balkanisation is a spectacle for them.
lol, ok, if this becomes a trend maybe a 3rd party becomes viable in time for november
Yea, a Libertarian hand picked by a think tank and shaped an molded for 30 years for just this situation
It’s mayo time
pog pog pog
give me a president/antipresident dynamic where the states are split in who they recognize. shatter the fabric of the nation
I propose an Avignon situation personally. Put a second president in Michigan or something, fuck it.
It’d be hilarious if this became a common thing and our voting system became even more of a farce
This is what I’m hoping for actually. I saw where this was going the moment it started. After everyone started impeaching the other team, this is the only way this could have played out.
Bill Clinton moment. That fuck sure isn’t worth defending, but what a farce of an impeachment reason/process. I’m just surprised it’s taken over 20 years to get to this stage, TBH.
When do you think a state is going to try and pass a law dictating that only electoral votes for whatever party is in charge of the state count?
Not for a while. The machine works to do that basically already through disenfranchisement and gerrymandering. Just outright taking people off ballots will work instead.
I’m sure some chud legislator is writing a bill up as we speak.
DEMOCRACY
All according to plan…
keikaku means plan
Death of America
Death of America
Death of America
PSL winds up being the only party represented in every state ballot following a spate of tit-for-tat removals of Trump and Biden across the whole country
PSL candidate receives protest votes from dems in each state Biden is excluded and vice versa
PSL candidate accidentally wins Florida
…
lolThis would be both funny and good, so it can’t happen
We’ll end up with some libertarian nutbar instead
Do we have any American equivalent of
… oh shit 
vermin supreme is the compromise candidate
He doesn’t appear to be running this time, unfortunately. 😢
Or, I guess, to know yet himself whether he is running? (https://vermin2024.com/)
But I guess with all the rest of these shenanigans, that, too, might not be an insurmountable obstacle. LOL.
He’s running in the Dem primary
Seriously? Last place I’d expect him, and he doesn’t seem to be advertising it. But okay. I guess it’s back on! LOL.
This was my prediction first. Do not steal!
On the one hand: Fucking how. HOW? How could you possibly do that in an even kind of legal way?
On the other hand:
…
My body is ready.
Reality already became more ludicrous than fiction when the writers of Law and Order said they could not make an episode based around Trump’s uh -legal troubles- because it people would think it was too unrealistic.
Please just let this farce of a country end, I am ready for it.
Law is just an abstract idea, someone has to enforce it. If Texas does this and nobody stops them then what is the law?
Hrm.
The law would then be whatever the cops who idol worship the punisher without any understanding of the inherent irony of that deem it to be.
So the law would thus be whatever the most violent and or ironic possible outcome possible outcome is to a situation is what will happen.
Hooray!
Yeah, it would be extremely funny if Putin ends up winning Ukraine because the US utterly implodes in formal civil war.
My plan is to just keep listening to Year Zero on repeat, maybe that will erect a metaironic barrier around me that keeps me safe, like a high Luck stat or something.
