Actually if you look at my comments I am trying to be understanding. Most everyone else has been hostile. First time ever seeing this on Lemmy. So all I can say is sorry if I offended anyone and tried to understand others. Have a great day.
I’ll assume you mean well but that you’re just not super well versed in communicating over text.
You’re coming across as snarky and condecending. The easiest example to help pinpoint a clear example is when you asked if the person you responded to spoke English as their primary language. From a very charitable perspective it could be construed as a benign question, aimed at helping you understand why you didn’t understand each other (since you had differing opinions).
But given the context of an argument, an argument on the Internet at that, the first instinct for pretty much everyone is to assume it’s meant as an ad hominem, an attempt at discrediting the person criticizing you by belittling them for their spelling and/or grammar mistakes.
It’s also important to know that when you’re replying many times in a thread people will likely read more than one of your comments so it’s enough for one of them to come of snarky/condescending/elitist etc for that to the color the reading of all your other comments. This is exactly how we handle verbal communication as well as humans, it only takes one shitty joke, instance of poor attitude or a rude comment for everyone in earshot to form an opinion about what kind of person they deem you likely to be. People with a larger sample size of your behaviour might chalk it up to a bad day or a reaction to something someone else did earlier.
I can see that in your first comment, but all the responses after that definitely come across as needlessly confrontational and I can’t see how you feel that’s being “understanding” personally.
Lots of replies which don’t actually address or respond to comments but rather attempt to put the other person down, example:
Attacking people’s replies but then suggesting they replied to the wrong person (which one is it?)
Attacking someone’s language/typing skills instead of responding.
Suggesting anyone who disagreed with you are “behaving like redditors”
These little put downs come across as attempting to belittle the person you’re replying to and is a common way to “win a debate” by discouraging the other person from replying, in the absence of actually having a discussion.
I have no intention of winning anything. I am a IT and guess direct and to the point. Sometimes just being inquisitive. Though I do notice many over the last year have gotten more aggressive for just asking. I still don’t see a issue with my statements. How are we suppose to understand each other if we don’t ask questions?
But that’s the point, you aren’t actually engaging in the discussion, your questions aren’t on topic but are more rhetorical attacks on personality.
If someone at work speaks to you in broken English and your response is “is English even your first language” instead of responding to their comment, then your next conversation would be with HR.
Break it down what are you trying to achieve with that question and how does that add value to the discussion?
Apologies for misquoting you, but the correct quote is equally disingenuous and your attempt to turn my reply into an attack on character instead of answering the question is exactly why you’re being downvoted.
You come across as a person who looks for the negative in everything and doesn’t actually want to engage but rather make yourself feel superior, but that generally doesn’t work outside of traditional social media. I bet you’re a joy to work with /s. Have a good day.
You misquoted me. Are you saying it was wrong to defend myself? You seem to only see negative in a lot of statements. My original statement was straight and to the point. How would you ask someone? Or would you choose not to know and just try and wing it?
Actually if you look at my comments I am trying to be understanding. Most everyone else has been hostile. First time ever seeing this on Lemmy. So all I can say is sorry if I offended anyone and tried to understand others. Have a great day.
I’ll assume you mean well but that you’re just not super well versed in communicating over text.
You’re coming across as snarky and condecending. The easiest example to help pinpoint a clear example is when you asked if the person you responded to spoke English as their primary language. From a very charitable perspective it could be construed as a benign question, aimed at helping you understand why you didn’t understand each other (since you had differing opinions).
But given the context of an argument, an argument on the Internet at that, the first instinct for pretty much everyone is to assume it’s meant as an ad hominem, an attempt at discrediting the person criticizing you by belittling them for their spelling and/or grammar mistakes.
It’s also important to know that when you’re replying many times in a thread people will likely read more than one of your comments so it’s enough for one of them to come of snarky/condescending/elitist etc for that to the color the reading of all your other comments. This is exactly how we handle verbal communication as well as humans, it only takes one shitty joke, instance of poor attitude or a rude comment for everyone in earshot to form an opinion about what kind of person they deem you likely to be. People with a larger sample size of your behaviour might chalk it up to a bad day or a reaction to something someone else did earlier.
Blows my mind that you had to explain this to him. Props for the effort though.
I can see that in your first comment, but all the responses after that definitely come across as needlessly confrontational and I can’t see how you feel that’s being “understanding” personally.
That said, it’s all good.
Can you explain how they are confrontational? I do like debating but I do not intend to anger anyone.
Sure,
Lots of replies which don’t actually address or respond to comments but rather attempt to put the other person down, example:
Attacking people’s replies but then suggesting they replied to the wrong person (which one is it?)
Attacking someone’s language/typing skills instead of responding.
Suggesting anyone who disagreed with you are “behaving like redditors”
These little put downs come across as attempting to belittle the person you’re replying to and is a common way to “win a debate” by discouraging the other person from replying, in the absence of actually having a discussion.
I have no intention of winning anything. I am a IT and guess direct and to the point. Sometimes just being inquisitive. Though I do notice many over the last year have gotten more aggressive for just asking. I still don’t see a issue with my statements. How are we suppose to understand each other if we don’t ask questions?
But that’s the point, you aren’t actually engaging in the discussion, your questions aren’t on topic but are more rhetorical attacks on personality.
If someone at work speaks to you in broken English and your response is “is English even your first language” instead of responding to their comment, then your next conversation would be with HR.
Break it down what are you trying to achieve with that question and how does that add value to the discussion?
The way you said it yes. Look at my reply I did not say “even” which made the statement negative. Please quote me properly.
Perfect encapsulation of my point.
Apologies for misquoting you, but the correct quote is equally disingenuous and your attempt to turn my reply into an attack on character instead of answering the question is exactly why you’re being downvoted.
You come across as a person who looks for the negative in everything and doesn’t actually want to engage but rather make yourself feel superior, but that generally doesn’t work outside of traditional social media. I bet you’re a joy to work with /s. Have a good day.
You misquoted me. Are you saying it was wrong to defend myself? You seem to only see negative in a lot of statements. My original statement was straight and to the point. How would you ask someone? Or would you choose not to know and just try and wing it?
Sure seems like it with your replies
Fuck you.