Hello, fellow residents of The Void,

Let me begin by acknowledging the obvious. We are floating in the limitless cosmic abyss, our existence as meaningful as a speck of dust in an endless desert. Yes, it’s a drag. Yes, it’s profound. Yes, it’s also Wednesday.

There’s an old saying that life is a brief interruption to an otherwise peaceful non-existence. If that’s the case, we’re seriously underestimating the power of a good interruption. Like when your dull meeting is interrupted by a power outage or your existential crisis is interrupted by the pizza delivery.

Consider this, why are we here, in The Void? Because everywhere else was too dull, too sensible, too tangible. They lacked that je ne sais quoi, that “I’m spiraling into a cosmic pit of endless darkness but hey, at least it’s not tax season” vibe that we’ve all come to cherish.

The void is not for everyone. Some prefer their existential dread with a side of ‘society,’ ‘people,’ and ‘light.’ But not us. Here, we know the bliss of solitude, the pleasure of quiet introspection. And by ‘quiet introspection,’ I mean ‘maniacally laughing at memes while eating cereal at 3 a.m.’

We’re the cool cats dancing on the edge of oblivion, the jesters in the court of cosmic nihilism. And while it might be a bleak, dark, soul-crushingly empty kind of existence, at least it’s ours, right?

In conclusion, folks, embrace The Void. Laugh into it. Cry into it. Dance with it. And above all, always bring popcorn. Because if there’s one thing I know about staring into the infinite abyss, it makes one unyielding.

Until the next time, we hurl words into the emptiness and pretend it means something,

Yours in oblivion,

Mog Spawn

(this nonsense brought to you in part by AI)