• bitsplease@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    At least for my wife and I, the practical conversations all came before, by the time I proposed, we were already both in agreement about how we would handle finances, kids, etc. The actually proposal absolutely should be romantic, because it’s not “I have suddenly decided we will marry, we’ll figure it out from here” it’s “I’m now ready to take the big step in going from planning to spend our lives together, to actually committing to do it”

    There’s plenty of room for both romance and practicality, and having a romantic proposal certainly doesn’t exclude having practical sober conversations before hand

    • RQG@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Agreed. We did the same. We talked about that we wanted kids. We talked about finances. I told her if I ever had kids I wanted to be married. It makes custody and a lot of things simpler, finances easier and once you got kids you are bound together anyways. She agreed and said if and when we make it to that she would love got me to propose and all that.

      Then when we decided we were ready for kids after moving to a bigger apartment a few years later and all I proposed to her during a vacation. She didn’t expect it but it basically was all as we talked about. I got 2 silver rings with our favourite gems in it and a sentence engraved that meant something to us on the inside and some other small fancy details. Luckily her favourite gem was amethysts as those are cheap. I even snuck out one of her favourite earrings to get a color match to that one. It was like 500 total in a custom ring shop where the local bikers gets their membership rings made. I was told and shown by the bikers once that the ring making lady was the best in town. They were right.

      My wife liked the engagement rings so much she wanted to keep them as wedding rings. So I guess I did well enough.